Horrible Day

I walked into the hospital today for my bone scan, looked around at all the machines, and people, and broke down. It just really hit me what I am dealing with. Glad my wife was with me, even if we didn't talk much.
Had a shot, waited two hours, had the bone scan. Technician came in halfway through, to make some adjustments, commented that everything looked good so far, as in clean, and followed it up with, but of course that's not official. At the end of the scan, after it was all done, I asked him, and he seemed somewhat less definitive. Made me nervous.
Then went to another building to pick up the garbage I needed to drink before the cat scan. Drank it, sat around for 2 more hours, then went back there and did the CAT. I asked before the test if they could tell me anything when it's done, good or bad, and of course they said no, doc would have results late today, or more probably tomorrow.

Went home, called the docs office, the receptionist looked and said the bone scan came back but the doc hadn't reviewed it yet. I asked if the nurse could get on the phone and tell me something, she responded no, not till the dr reviews it. But I will tell the dr that you called.

This is all making me very nervous. Actually more than very nervous.doc never called which is making me think something is not right and he figured he'd let me get a good nights sleep and tell me tomorrow.
I knwo, I know, I'm insane and hysterical. But I've had enough situations in my life where I've been blindsided by bad news LOKE this, that i guess I'm afraid to think anything but the worst.

MAKE me crazy? Do you actually think I'm sane right now?

Oh, and to add to my first post, I was going to try to call epateins office today on the second opinion. But o didn't, I was afraid to.

THANK YOU

Hey Pratoman,

Didn't we agree that I would do the worrying for you on Tue, Thurs, and Sat? You were going to cover M, W, and F and leave Sunday as a day of rest. Since you had such a bad day would you like me to cover Friday?

Did you really think the doc would call you the same day as the test? Thanks for the day brightener. Remember, our health care system is on a pay for service basis. The doc gets to charge some insurance company for this service and needs to justify the request for payment.
Just for the record, scans rarely show something. Does that make you feel better - or worse.

I will tell you a little story that might brighten your day/night. When I was first dx'ed, I too had the scans. But my scan came back with a large hot spot on my shoulder. I had a face to face with the doc and he put his hand over the spot and asked if I could think of any reason, an injury perhaps? His hand was exactly where the butt of my shotgun rests. In fact two days before the scan I had used the gun to dispatch a pesky squirrel.
I had to redo the scans, drink that goop again, sit in the office for hours....
The squirrel's revenge.

Sleep, buddy. I'll cover for you tomorrow.
Jeff

Hang in there. I know, easier said than done. But remember, when the odds are 90-10 in your favor it doesn't make sense to concentrate on the 10%. (And I'd bet there even MORE in your favor than 90-10!)

PMan
Sorry to read about your tough day.
I know the feeling well. When I was first diagnosed I was told the first 2 weeks are the worst. So I went through the agony of the diagnosis and 2 weeks worth of scans, tests, appointments and waiting. Then more waiting.
Then, I was referred to Mayo and had to do most of the scans over again along with more appointments. I just didn't feel like I belonged there with all those sick people.
I am only telling you this because I can relate to your current situation. But, it gets better. It gets a lot better. Every storm passes. And let's only worry about what we know - not what we don't know.
Also, someone mentioned Xanax. Don't be afraid to ask for Ambien or some kind of sleep aid as well. Breathe, exercise, be normal. Own this.
You can do this.

Caspar, I'll qnswer you first, since I know you are awake, in UK ITS 11am
Thank you. I love the golf analogy. Although once I get back on my feet mentally, I will use a football analogy, and be a linebacker, since I play a little golf but I'm a hacker and football is my favorite .

Yes, I feel for you, and I really hope we here across the pond never see socialized medicine.
As far as calming meds, I feel the same way, in fact I haven't taken the lex apron yet, I've been putting it off. But I felt I really needed the Xanax.
Please let me know as soon as you get your scans back, and email me any time as you have in the past.

@BigMAc, thanks for the response. Last night at 6pm, after all the tests, I had to go to the office for an appointment to meet with a client. I was so not up for it. I never take Xanax during working hours, or when I have to drive. But yestrday I just needed to. So I broke one on half and took half as you suggested before I left for the office. It helped a lot but didn't crush me.
Took the other half when I got home and it knocked me out

You are up early! Couldn’t you sleep?

I had a bad night, mainly because of what I have been reading here recently. I must take a breake from that. This weekend they are holding the British Motor Show at the NEC in Birmingham. I will be going with my son, so hopefully will be able to de-stress and blow some of the past two weeks cobwebs away.

At least with golf you can get out some of your frustration and aggression if you keep slicing the ball. Keep shouting FOUR! Or hopefully in you case “3+4”

Grown men kicking a piece of blown up leather around a field has never really worked for me.

Good luck with your results today. Hopefully they will be all good and you can rest a little easy over the weekend.

I have just received some hospital letters in the post today, but will make a new thread regarding those.

Big hugs from me to you

Pratoman
So very sorry you had a terrible day. I can relate to both you and the doctor unfortunately. I can relate to you as my husband was recently diagnosed 8/14 and underwent the bone scan and Ct scan. I know how very difficult the waiting was for him. Probably was the darkest week of the entire voyage to date. Your stats are certainly certain encouraging to have great outcomes from your scans. Try to think positive if you can.
I can also relate to your doctor because as a nurse practitioner I frequently review results. Even though in a perfect world at the end of the day we would be able to notify all of our patients of their results, sometimes we have to prioritize due to time constraints and take care of the emergent situations first. I'm not trying to make excuses for not getting a call back, but trying to ease your mind in that if things were emergent you probable would of heard. Yes I know my mind works a little different than the norm tee hee
Hang in there. You got this!!!

Prato, I get it man. I been there and done that. My first psa was over 3200 so I knew I wAs screwed but that first bone and ct scan freaked me out a little bit. A chest x Ray had already showed massive amounts of tumors in my lungs and the ultrasound showed the Prostate tumor was growing into my bladder. I was 42. I am now 51. Do yourself a favor and take a chill pill. Your numbers don't look that bad. Worrying won't change a thing bro. Hang in there. Your going to be okay. Todd

No man I'm just a guy that promised his wife 30 years together. We been married 8 years now

Never seen anyone here quite as OCD as you are about all of this. I thought who was #1 in this department, but you got him beat by a country mile. Your imagination keeps getting way ahold of common sense. Because you didn't get the bone scan result immediately, you really think the doctor is being kind, and prepping you for the bad news you are convinced he's going to give you?

Think about what you are saying. It really doesn't make any sense. You would do yourself much better service by shutting yourself off of all things PC on the internet, from books, from friends, and yes, even HW, at least until you know what you are finally dealing with.

It's unlikely your PC will ever kill you, but all the stress you are creating for yourself, could give you a stroke or a heart attack, and that could kill you, despite having a small amount of cancer. Just something to think about.

Sorry, but I am well known here, with the "don't worry" line of thinking. Worry is so non-productive and destructive at the same time.

Take a PC-related break for now, so that you can be fresh and ready to deal with the true facts at hand when everything is in order. It's the best advice I can give you at the moment.