ED clinic big disappointment

So with a lot of effort i finally managed to get my reluctant husband to agree to try the trimix shot, and his uro made an appointment with the ed clinic to learn to use the shot. At least that was my understanding.

He dreaded the appointment all week, but did go.

The ED doctor first tried very hard to sell my husband a pump. It looked exactly like the one my husband already has.

Then he told my husband he should be using the pump for sex. Then he gave him some samples of muse, and a prescription for it as well as Stendra. My husband protested the muse it wasn't as effective, and it cost far too much. The ED dr said it was cheap thru canadian pharmacies. (the only candian pharmacy i could find that carried it was $175 for 3 doses)

and sent him home with instructions to use the pump, if it wasn't successful to take the pill an hour before using the muse. and if that wasn't successful he could come back.

I was so upset i cried for a day, and now I'm really angry. he is likely to start hormone therapy in a few weeks. Shots seem like the easy way to do rehab (and I hope intercourse!) with little or no libido. Also, its been 3 months now since surgery. Dr Mulhall recommends to start shots as early as possible, 4 - 6 weeks, to prevent atrophy.

I don't know if i can talk my husband into going back. It was so hard to get him to go in the first place. And he has missed so much work with all his appointments and surgery that he's swamped at work. Another half day off is that much more difficult.

Also, since my husband had non nerve sparing RP why did he give him a pill? And he said nothing about whether my husband should discontinue the cialis or not.

Hi Sophie,

I think the idea behind the prescription for Cialis is to keep blood flowing into the penis while your husband is still recovering from surgery. I also had the non nerve sparing surgery and was prescribed 5 mg of cialis daily. I can tell you that for me it did help although I have not been able to get a natural erection (kind of strange talking to a woman about this). At any rate, with some manual stimulation I can get some good blood flow there but it's definitely not the same as before. I tried the trimix once but I can't afford the cost so an intimate relationship is pretty much out of the picture.

My advice, if having a sexual relationship with your husband is important to you and to him, and if both of you are willing, then try to help him along. You may be surprised at what may pop up. Yes, the pun is intended.

Almost a 10,

Curious what you paid for your trimix. For most guys trimix is fairly inexpensive on a per-dose basis. I pay about $150 per vial and get 20 injections from it which works out to $7.50 a pop. There are mail order pharmacies (legit ones) that cost less than that but my local compounder is convenient so some of that $150 is a fee I pay for convenience.

Almost a 10, that's great you have some response to cialis! It's also unusual with Non Nerve Surgery. Maybe you're one of the lucky 5% who can regain an erection after NN. My husband is currently on cialis for blood flow, has been told he'll be on it for life. It has no effect for erection whatsoever. And I've done lots of helping him along :).

It's the new pill, stendra, which is in the same class, pd 5 inhibitor or whatever its called, that I don't understand why he put him on. It's also 200 mg which is a high dose, and concerns me that he could have SEs. And to take it and cialis at the same time sounds like a bad idea to me.

I just checked with the pharmacy. $37 a pill plus $60 a muse. thats almost $100 for one time.

and since it should be used 3 times a week to prevent atrophy, thats $15,600.00 a year!!

I've heard trimix is about $4 a shot. 3 times a week would be $208 a year.

My husband went to clinic so we could have intercourse and prevent atrophy. the doctor prescribed something that can't be effective because it can't or won't be done. That makes me angry.

Also my husband has gone way beyond his comfort level to make me happy, and it's for nothing. He'll have to do it all over again, spend another week dreading the appointment, and miss more work.

WoW!! I am so glad that our health service is free over here.

I was given Cialis once by my doctor. 4 tablets per box and my pharmacist told me if I had to pay for them they would be £10 for each tablet= £40 per box!

Logoslidat,

Believe me, eventually he will be very thankful I pushed. As a matter of fact tonight is the first time he's has a comfortable conversation with me about it. I think the ED clinic did do him some good after all. Apparently he liked the doctor and they ended up cracking jokes. I think that made him more comfortable with the whole thing. He's never spoken to anyone aside from me before about the more intimate details of PCa. A couple men who've been through it have offered, but he hasn't wanted to.

And as much as he abhors all the 'unnatural' things I've pushed him to do, he loves that I desire him so much

And he will never have a natural erection again after the surgery. pd5 will never give him an erection. The 5% that can regain one after non nerve sparing are the ones where the doctor missed some of the nerves. His uro said she took everything she could.

and yeah its kind of rude to make assumptions, but I do like honesty, so I appreciate your comments anyway :)

Jeff,

Thanks, I'm glad to hear your implant has been a good solution. I will keep it in mind. Meanwhile I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we'll have success with less invasive measures.

Sophie

logoslidat said...
If he don't want to, live with it !

I think this is a very unfair thing to say to any spouse that wants to have a sex life with his or her partner. When one partner makes a decision to not have sex any more, that one person is making that decision for both members of the relationship. This is simply not how a partnership should work. If my wife wants to have a sex life with me, I will do whatever I can to make her happy in that department, even if I'm dealing with something as devastating as cancer.

My wife has had some health issues of her own recently that have meant we cannot have sex for a few months. But, to us, that's simply been a challenge to be more creative in "taking care" of each other. If I decided I was not going to have sex with my wife, and I told her she should "live with it", I think she would be justified in divorcing me.

Sophie,

You'll be in a better position to negotiate with them if you wait until after your husband tries the Muse (at least the smaller dose) before you get too insistent. Doctors respond better to requests from their patients who try to be compliant. And the muse might give your husband some information he and his doctor could use to pick a mix for injections. If he finds the Muse really painful then he could consider bimix instead of trimix to avoid the alprostadil ache.

Sophie,

It does sound like you have gotten a scattershot runaround from that clinic.

I suggest you (or even better your hub) come over to FrankTalk (it's like a Bro-site of this one) where they only deal with ED problems day in, day out -- all of the time -- and can lay more eyes on these problems with good suggestions.

J

Peter,
The ED doc called back, talked for a long time. He was very nice. How he does things is pump first, then muse, then trimix, last resort implant. I brought up how prohibitive the cost of muse is but he blew that off saying some of his patients buy it from a canadian pharmacy. (when we got off the phone I looked up the specific website he mentioned and the muse is $53 an application). I didn't argue and we agreed that hubby should try muse and if it didn't work set up an appointment for trimix.

I'm pretty depressed, because I'm starting to think my husband won't use the muse anyway. I thought we were going to try on the weekend but he didn't want to. Then I thought last night and he said no maybe on the next weekend. He's been saying that every step of the way and I've pushed and pushed and he's resisted. He hates the pump and won't use it. And he says the pump, muse, and injections are such a big turn off the last thing he'd want after using them is to have sex.

I'm thinking today that maybe I have longed so deeply for it, that I haven't been able to understand that he is ready to end that part of our relationship. I adore him and desire him always. I don't know how to accept this.


PSA3DOT7, Jstars, Dmlvt, Z06Dude, and Peter, thank you for your words of encouragement. I'm feeling pretty low and lonely.

Post Edited (SophieW) : 2/11/2015 12:22:30 PM (GMT-7)

Thanks Doug. I told him last night I won't bring it up again but wait until he's ready.

Sophie,
I have been following your saga and find myself silently cheering for you more than I care to admit.

I had non-nerve sparing and have venous leakage. I've got all the libido and desire with none of the equipment. Extremely frustrating. F-r-u-s-t-r-a-t-i-n-g.
I use a pump because I am afraid my noodle will shrink from a manicotti to a rigatoni. I have used trimix at dosages 100 times (yes, read that again) the dose some of the other guys used and still had no success. Cialis until my back hurt, Viagra until I saw blue and had a stuffed nose. Nothing. I get it.

I wish you'd turn on your email or send me one anonymously. There are some things re. meds and injections I want to mention but do not feel comfortable saying on a public forum. I have info for you.
By the way, you'd both get a lot out of attending one of the gatherings. The people who have attended will back me up on this. Really.

Please shoot me an email.
I wish you both well.
Jeff