HT and the Woman.

I guess the way I see it Logo is that it's the opposite of reaching puberty without the voice change. Chivalry is probaly reduced and the fleeting sexual thoughts no longer cloud the interface. It's actually a pleasant change once you accept it.

Cheers, Doug

I have not learned to embrace HT. They say you should never compare yourself to someone else, but it seems I am comparing me with me prior to HT and I don't like what I see. Having said that, it doesn't mean I do not embrace life as it is good to be alive.
Michael

Peter, I was addressing the thread topic, how we perceive women post HT. Not how we accept HT.

Cheers, Doug

After being on it for almost 4 years now...I still cannot accept it as a pleasant change....Ive learned to live with it..because I have to. Ive learned to fake my libido...or maybe tricking myself into desiring sex...and desire for my wife is pretty much the same....maybe not as real but if I concentrate hard enough I can actually feel the same desire I once had.....and the orgasms although dry are as good as before.

Its kinda like seeing a sexy woman at the mall or something...your brain knows shes sexy...but that's as far as it gets.....no twinging in the groin area....no faster heartbeat....no other body reactions happen except in the mind. That's the best way I can explain it.

I found having no libido to be strangely liberating. Which is not to say that I like it...I miss that. But there's also a certain peacefulness to it. For the record, I finished HT 10 months ago and while my T level have come up, it's way below level. My libido is still very, very low, but at least I don't get the intense hot flashes anymore...

Interesting questions, logo. I've considered it quite a bit during my nearly two years on ADT2.

A beautiful woman is still beautiful, as a Monet painting is beautiful, or a Ferrari is beautiful. The intrinsic beauty can still be appreciated for its very nature. That seems to be the core of your question, whether or not the hormone therapy diminishes ability to simply enjoy physical beauty. No difference there.

The male psyche seems geared to pursue possession of that which is attractive. That has changed. Just don't care, no lingering looks, no double take over the shoulder, not really the physical desire per se. Just no real interest, not any more than looking briefly at a painting in a museum.

A beautiful person, with a warm positive heart, good with conversation, and caring about others, is a beautiful person. A joy to be around, positive vibes all around. No difference there, maybe even enjoy this more than ever.

So, yeah, perhaps the main reason I hate the "loss of libido" is this is a natural part of "maleness" I've experienced my whole life. It's not happening anymore, and it makes me feel, as Peter DA put it, like a pod person version of myself. I'm not me, and perhaps that's a big part of why it's disturbing. That's not the best part of me by any means, but it is a real part. I feel like I have a big hole in my, well, my "self".

My spouse deserves to feel desired, and that is much more difficult without the inner physical drive engaged. That's the emotionally frustrating part, not a sense of loss, but a sense of frustration.

Anyway, those are a few of my thoughts about it.

Jerry

Redwing and MikeT, You exactly answered the question that I was asking. In retrospect, how could it not be, what you described?

sorry to hear of your wife leaving you Shaba.....seems to me she broke her marriage vows....til death do us part and in sickness and in health.....I would never leave my spouse with something like that arising....that's the last thing you would do if you truly cared and loved that person.

My wife has stuck by me the last 4 years and we have found ways to have our fun....although I still feel inadequate at times....its hard to break away from that feeling.

Kind of what Redwing was saying. Paradoxically you don't miss what you never remember to think about, but if I were able to think about it, I would miss it.

In his blog a while back, Todd had an interesting way of wording how the dreaded PCa affects the spouse/partner.

toddseals63.blogspot.com/

You'll have to page back several pages to find the thread I allude to about how Todd feels worse for HT's effect on Mandy than about he himself, a post I printed out and showed to Karen and said - this is what I meant to say.

LupronJim

I was trolling for spam and saw the topic and as a woman who has been on HT and post menopause I understand the ramifications of HT but as a woman who always believed that women were the sole bringers of real passion to the act I am humbled by my misguided thinking,apparent from the many words and thoughts displayed here on this thread. Tonight I have to envy your lucky wives and significant others and rethink the impact of my misguided thinking on my past encounters over the years,I definitely missed out on some things in my narrowminded opinions that men had one track thinking when it came to the act itself. My humble apologies to the male species!! Regrets are difficult to swallow and kudos to the OP for touching on a subject not easily discussed but doing so could make a difference.

I am touched as only a woman can touch… as high as my highest being can reach! Aloha…Pono…Mana….