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Changes in life sexually after Prostate Cancer

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Posted 6/20/2015 12:09 PM (GMT 0)

testing123 said...
My wife tells me that where she works, nearly all of the post menopausal woman declare openly (to other woman) that they have close to zero interest in sex. For their husbands, the changes in life sexually after PC would be minimal.

Another contributing factor I forgot to mention.
Posted 6/21/2015 11:31 AM (GMT 0)

testing123 said...
My wife tells me that where she works, nearly all of the post menopausal woman declare openly (to other woman) that they have close to zero interest in sex. For their husbands, the changes in life sexually after PC would be minimal.

That's part of the problem. What's it like to have sex with a woman who
has absolutely no interest (not even close) in it? (rhetorical question)
It makes it darn difficult to near impossible.
Posted 6/21/2015 12:05 PM (GMT 0)

testing123 said...
My wife tells me that where she works, nearly all of the post menopausal woman declare openly (to other woman) that they have close to zero interest in sex. For their husbands, the changes in life sexually after PC would be minimal.

Add to that number the women who find sex difficult and even painful after menopause due to the loss of lubrication and tissue thinning, and you've got something significant. I have a co-worker about my age who once said, "I still like it as much as always, but it doesn't piss me off when she says no these days", and you've got a common late-50's male sentiment.
Posted 6/21/2015 12:40 PM (GMT 0)

fulltlt said...

testing123 said...
My wife tells me that where she works, nearly all of the post menopausal woman declare openly (to other woman) that they have close to zero interest in sex. For their husbands, the changes in life sexually after PC would be minimal.

That's part of the problem. What's it like to have sex with a woman who
has absolutely no interest (not even close) in it? (rhetorical question)
It makes it darn difficult to near impossible.

Although, there's more to sex than the penetration process and from my experiences in life the less we communicate the less intimate we are.
Posted 6/22/2015 4:59 AM (GMT 0)
Break/Bob:

Funny you mention the visual aid of the P word. Not sure I have ever mentioned this before. While my sex life is basically normal as per pre-RP, post-RP, except for the dry part, ever since my RP, any "visual aids" has no positive effect on me, as it did pre. Because of that, I haven't bothered looking at P in years, don't see any point in it. Not making any kind of statement, just saying. That while I work fine in that department, it takes a direct physical interconnection between my wife and I - and then all systems go. I don't go solo for the same reason, but just one real touch from my wife, and all is well. Not sure why those aids don't work anymore, as long as the real thing works - have nothing to complain about.
Posted 6/22/2015 10:21 AM (GMT 0)

Purgatory said...
Break/Bob:

Funny you mention the visual aid of the P word. Not sure I have ever mentioned this before. While my sex life is basically normal as per pre-RP, post-RP, except for the dry part, ever since my RP, any "visual aids" has no positive effect on me, as it did pre. Because of that, I haven't bothered looking at P in years, don't see any point in it. Not making any kind of statement, just saying. That while I work fine in that department, it takes a direct physical interconnection between my wife and I - and then all systems go. I don't go solo for the same reason, but just one real touch from my wife, and all is well. Not sure why those aids don't work anymore, as long as the real thing works - have nothing to complain about.

Purg, from what I've read, and experienced, this is not uncommon. In fact, in the pre-surgery material my surgeon gave me, he said as much. The pre-surgery visual/mental fantasy things could become essentially non-functional, and direct stimulation would become the name of the game. It's also true for me.
Posted 6/23/2015 3:46 AM (GMT 0)

Purgatory said...
Break/Bob:

Funny you mention the visual aid of the P word. Not sure I have ever mentioned this before. While my sex life is basically normal as per pre-RP, post-RP, except for the dry part, ever since my RP, any "visual aids" has no positive effect on me, as it did pre. Because of that, I haven't bothered looking at P in years, don't see any point in it. Not making any kind of statement, just saying. That while I work fine in that department, it takes a direct physical interconnection between my wife and I - and then all systems go. I don't go solo for the same reason, but just one real touch from my wife, and all is well. Not sure why those aids don't work anymore, as long as the real thing works - have nothing to complain about.

Purg, have I ever told you what an incredibly lucky bastid you are? I have, haven't I? Some guys have all the luck! turn smilewinkgrin
Posted 6/23/2015 11:20 PM (GMT 0)
I'm 56 and post menopausal, and there's been no change in libido, or maybe I have more. I waited 10 years for DH's difficult children to grow up so we could have time together and a real sex life. DH's surgery was a couple days before the last kid turned 18.

Pca and NNS RP have been devastating to me as well as DH. It still seems like a nightmare most days. Sex is infrequent, difficult, and painful for DH (bad trimix ache), and now he is laid up with lymphedema, and undergoing SRT, so working on it is on hold again. I joked to him that the radiation nurses see him naked far more than i do. Unfortunately it's quite true.
Posted 6/23/2015 11:50 PM (GMT 0)
New here and really just reading posts. Husband had davinci surgery and 40 radiation treatments so def a no go in the sex department. We decided on a penile implant and while its not the same as before, it was def worth it! 3years since initial DX age 54/57 now, aggressive PC inherited, PSA since- undetectable.
Posted 6/24/2015 12:17 AM (GMT 0)

Purgatory said...
Break/Bob:

Funny you mention the visual aid of the P word. Not sure I have ever mentioned this before. While my sex life is basically normal as per pre-RP, post-RP, except for the dry part, ever since my RP, any "visual aids" has no positive effect on me, as it did pre. Because of that, I haven't bothered looking at P in years, don't see any point in it. Not making any kind of statement, just saying. That while I work fine in that department, it takes a direct physical interconnection between my wife and I - and then all systems go. I don't go solo for the same reason, but just one real touch from my wife, and all is well. Not sure why those aids don't work anymore, as long as the real thing works - have nothing to complain about.

What an inspirational post! Thanks for sharing it.
Posted 6/24/2015 4:16 AM (GMT 0)
The show was good but this thread and the discussions it spawned were amazing. Thank you all. I had to change my questions three times by the time the panel swung to me. I was asked about any clinical trials on the topic and I mentioned that there are a lot of discussions on all trials we work on with survivorship in mind though I didn't articulate as well as I had hoped. But that stated I went back to my personal experience and asked about being young and still hoping for perhaps a child in the future. Still it was a good session for my 6th panel on Curetalk Radio.

Here is the whole session for your listening:
www.blogtalkradio.com/curetalks/2015/06/22/lifes-changes-and-challenges-after-prostate-cancer-with-dr-anne-katz
Posted 6/24/2015 5:37 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Tony,
I have spent most of my adult life raising kids and working with kids. I hope you get one! Thanks for providing this thread and being part of Curetalk. I haven't listened to it yet, but I will when I get a moment. I hope you continue to post thought-provoking threads like this one. I have received so much education about PCa just from reading the threads and the responses.
Beth
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