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Three of us will soon be two

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Posted 11/4/2016 2:15 AM (GMT 0)
Here is what I wrote to a friend:

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Here is what I wrote a friend.

Hey Al:

Called Milt tonight. It was nice chatting with him.
He still seems 100% with it, at least for the 5-10 minutes we spoke.

He had company, so we didn't talk too long. I doubt if we would have
talked longer anyway.
He does kind of fade out a tad.

He goes to bed regularly at 10:00 PM and was disappointed he didn't get
to see the entire Cubs game, but he was pleased that they won.

Of
course, he is disgusted with [political stuff]

I am encouraged that he still seems quite interested in all of that.
Maybe that means he has accepted his situation.

He also said he is quite comfortable. He has a full-time caregiver and I
surmise he is pleased with that situation. He is VERY pleased to be able
to relax at home.

That's all.

Mel


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>...
Posted 11/4/2016 7:02 AM (GMT 0)
Mel,
Thank you for giving an update. As hard as this is for you to face, your friend seems happy to be home and not in pain, which is as good as can be hoped for in this sad situation. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Beth
Posted 11/4/2016 11:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Mel,
I have not been on HW for awhile. Sorry to hear about your friend.

Yes, we are seeing more funerals than weddings at our age now.
Hang in there brother, we are all going to have to go down this path ourselves.

As my mother said, We all are put on this earth to enjoy it until the Lord calls us back home.

If this comment offends anyone, I am tired of being politically correct.

Bill from Florida
Posted 11/5/2016 12:01 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Billy:

Nice to hear from you!

Guess my next snowbird trip will again be in Calif. (Santa Monica this time; it was Palm Desert last year).

Maybe some year we will return to WPB!

Mel
Posted 11/6/2016 7:27 PM (GMT 0)
BigMac good on ya...I cant even say I think America is a great country...can not wait for this evil to be gone.. I guess Healingwell was ahead of its time in its silly censorship...better press the button...they are watching you know
Posted 11/8/2016 3:20 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Mel,
I was in Cali about 3 weeks ago. I have been a big Oakland Raider fan from back in the 70's when I lived out there so we flew out for a game while they are still in Oakland. Got seats in the Black Hole, was on my bucket list for years. We finally have a good team developing now.

You can't beat the weather in Cali.

We had the hottest summer in Florida this year since I moved here in 2003.
The weather was great in Oakland/SF. I think we were one of the few couples walking around SF with short sleeve shirts. It was in the 60's and it felt like we were walking around in air conditioning. The Raider game weather was wonderful, 50's in the morning, 78 at game time and 50's after the game.

Hey Logo,
Been surfing lately? It has been terrible in So. Florida. If we ever get waves, I will be so out of practice it will be a struggle for me.
Yeah, I was in a pissy mood when I posted that note to Mel. I guess I will be glad when the election is over tomorrow, depending on who wins.
I was waiting for some reaction from the mod squad but nothing happened.

I have been taking a vacation from HW for awhile. I think you can relate. Seems like a recall you were MIA last year for sometime.

I'll pop in from time to time to see if any newbies show up and to check on the old timers.

Bill from Florida cool
Posted 11/10/2016 8:23 AM (GMT 0)
Mel, I am so sorry to hear this news about your friend. Cancer is the beast. I am glad you did have time together and the talks. Take care.

Yes, we are seeing more funerals than weddings at our age now.
Posted 11/16/2016 2:26 AM (GMT 0)
Howdy:

Just an update. When I first posted this on 10/21, my friend was in hospice, given 2-3 weeks to live. I just spoke with him yesterday. He is still totally with it mentally, but tires easily. It sounds like he has now accepted his situation. He is still in hospice and also has a full-time caregiver.

Unfortunately, things are deteriorating. Although he has been pretty much homebound, he actually went to the polls and voted. Since then he has gone back to being homebound and is now pretty much confined to his bedroom and living room.

At the moment, we are still 3.

Mel
Posted 11/17/2016 7:32 PM (GMT 0)
Well, unfortunately, we are now 2.
My friend passed away today.

Sadly, we are at the stage where long-term friends often do pass away.

I am shocked at the news, but not surprised.

Mel
Posted 11/17/2016 7:37 PM (GMT 0)
Mel, I am so sorry to hear this. I hope his last few days were peaceful. May he rest in peace and your friendship live forever in your heart.
Posted 11/17/2016 9:03 PM (GMT 0)
He was apparently very comfortable -- at home, in his own bed, listening to music.

Mel
Posted 11/17/2016 9:17 PM (GMT 0)
So sorry to hear about your friend Mel.
That's the way I would want to go too, at home, in my own bed, at peace with what's happening and listening to music.
Posted 11/17/2016 9:33 PM (GMT 0)
My thoughts are with you and your friend Mel.
Posted 11/17/2016 10:56 PM (GMT 0)
My sympathies on the loss of your close friend Mel. I am sure you are feeling pretty devastated.

It sounds trite, but it is a truism that time will soften the blow.

Stay strong.

Chas
Posted 11/18/2016 1:25 AM (GMT 0)
My thoughts and prayers are with Mel. So sorry for your loss.
Posted 11/18/2016 2:16 AM (GMT 0)
Mel, sorry I haven't been on this thread yet, as you know, I'm dealing with some stuff.
Really sorry to hear your friend has passed, for both him, and for you. I have 5 friends that I am still very tight with, who've been my "brothers" for 45 years. I can't imagine seeing one of them go. One of them is dealing with his long time girlfriend having end stage breast cancer, and my heart hurts for him, as it does for you.

Only good things from here on I hope, for you
**** cancer
Posted 11/18/2016 3:23 AM (GMT 0)

Dear Mel,

Mindful of your loss, mindful of the years of friendship you shared ...

It's tough to lose a friend, who feels like a brother, after the passage of years.

Here's a quotation that has always resonated with me, when I've lost friends.

It's a quotation from the written work entitled THE PROPHET by writer, artist, and philosopher Kahlil GIBRAN, written in 1923. Here is the quote that I find the most meaningful and I wanted to share it with you:

"When you part from your friend, you grieve not, for that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence ... as the mountain to the climber, is clearer from the plain."

May you and his family and friends be comforted in the days ahead.

Caring thoughts,
"Cyclone" ~ Iowa State University
Posted 11/18/2016 1:02 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry to hear of your friend's passing. I hope when I die, it is just like him, at home listening to music.

Bill from Florida cool
Posted 11/19/2016 2:02 PM (GMT 0)
Mel, sorry for the loss of your friend. I'm sure your life was richer for having him in it and I now just hope you can cherish the memories.

Jim
Posted 11/19/2016 3:11 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the nice words. I am doing fine.
It helps that this was expected, so we have had plenty of time to get acclimated to the situation.

It is a loss. It also, deep down, is a reminder of my own mortality -- just in case PC hasn't done that already!

This is also a major part of life: as I might have said earlier, this is a stage where we do tend to lose long-term friends. Lots of memories. It is hard to believe that we met as students -- THAT IS OVER 50 YEARS ago! Isn't that amazing when you think about it. Almost all of these memories are clear as day (as opposed to what I had for breakfast yesterday!)

Mel
Posted 11/21/2016 11:44 AM (GMT 0)
Mel, you have been blessed to have such a long term friendship. I am sorry for your loss. I am sure he felt the same way about having you in his life. You have shared the joys and the sorrows. Also, you did have a bit of time preparing for him passing. It will take awhile, so do your mourning at your pace.

I lost my best friend who knew me all my life last Christmas. I haven't erased her message from my cell phone or the one on my answering machine - landline. (I don't have a Smart phone.) I'm not ready. It's so hard because we emailed or talked every day. In my phone book, I write "In Heaven" when someone passes on. Silly, but I just can't cross off a person's name.

I am glad that you are doing better and the world was a better place with your friend in it. Take care.

Aimzee
Posted 11/21/2016 12:59 PM (GMT 0)
Mel - sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. That is hard, and you feel it whenever something reminds you of them. I've lost relatives and good friends to cancer in the last couple of years. Time helps, but each loss tears away a little of the fabric of our life.

We can rejoice in their memory, but the loss does change us. Peace for you, and all involved.
Posted 11/21/2016 1:54 PM (GMT 0)
You know, it's funny -- my friend, Al, reminded me that originally there were actually 5 of us. We were all math majors (think Big Bang Theory -- but not really!), and we all met regularly for lunch and of course we shared many classes.

One of our group, Ed, passed away in his senior year. He was born with kidney disease and died waiting for a transplant. Very sad situation. Another friend, Ken, for some unknown reason cut off contact with all of us. We never figured out why, but it came after he met a young lady who eventually became his wife. I did find out years later that he had a quintuple bypass surgery and recovered very well. That was odd because he ate well and was a good athlete (Judo champion) who regularly worked out. I think his father died of heart disease, so I guess it's hard to beat genetics.

Anyway, the remaining three of us kept in touch regularly. I'd say that's not bad at all!

They had a very private funeral for Milt (close family only). However, I did hear that he greatly appreciated our telephone calls during his last month.

Again, thank you for your thoughts. I think we all go through these type of situations, IF WE ARE LUCKY. It means we are fortunate to have had some lifelong friends -- and we have lived a reasonably long life! This is part of life. Sad but true.


Mel
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