seems like cancer is everywhere

Maybe I've just been asleep.

I got a disturbing call today from a good friend. Not like my best friend, but a good friend whom I've known for 10 years. He recently moved to another state with his wife. He's 67 years old, he still works.

A few days ago, he wasn't feeling well, and called 911. Turns out he had a very high fever, and was taken to the emergency room at a major university hospital. They ran tests. They came in after a few days and told him that from all the imaging they did, they know he has cancer in 5 places throughout his body, including his lung, liver and colon. But they don't know what kind of cancer. Tomorrow he is having a colonoscopy which may turn into a sigmoidoscopy because there is a narrowing of the colon, which they think might be a tumor blockage. I assume they plan on biopsying it to determine the type of cancer.

The Dr at the hospital after speaking with him at length, bent over and talked to him in hushed tones so his wife wouldn't hear. His words were "you seem like a straight shooter, so I'm going to be straight with you. You have a lot of cancer in your body and it's spread. We don't know what type yet, but your life is likely not going to be as long as you once thought it would be." Not sure why he would've said that. But maybe it was told to me out of context.

My friend is amazingly calm. He told me that he doesn't even know what it is yet, so he's not going to be flipping out, and worst case scenario, he's not afraid to die.

I'm sick to my stomach. This guy was "healthy" (apparently) a week ago. Everywhere I turn, someone has cancer. I lost a friend from college to breast cancer last month, she was 61. A member of my family has a serious cancer that she is being treated for. I was never sick until 2 years ago, and then I got PC, and 6 months later heart disease.

I was starting to think that I did something wrong for which God hates me (forgive me) . I really thought that a few times. Now I realize it's not that, it's just that me and my friends are just getting old, and it really ****ing sucks. But it can't be stopped.

Tomorrow I'm going for a blood draw for a uPSA retest, which came up measurable at .02 three weeks ago, for the first time since surgery. This new development isn't giving me any comfort. I think at the age of 66, I've finally lost my innocence. I finally realize how it can all come falling down out of nowhere. For any of us.

Sorry, I'm having a bad night and I needed to get it off my chest.

Post Edited (Pratoman) : 2/1/2017 6:12:15 PM (GMT-7)

Sorry for your friend's bad news. I'm convinced pesticides in our food, BPA in plastics, stress, etc. are putting us all at risk. I taught 33 years and missed one day of school due to breaking a bone. No family history at all, but up until I was 50 I would down 2-3 16oz. plastic bottles of Mt. Dew a day--it was my " coffee". Maybe I'm just looking to blame something, but I truly believe our diet and stressful way of life in this country is killing us.

Good luck on your test. Betting you'll be fine.

Tom

I know what you're talking about, Pratoman. I've been thinking a lot lately how life is so unfair sometimes, especially as we get older. Both my and my husband's father's died of cancer (esophagus and brain cancer). My sister in law died suddenly without warning of pancreatic cancer at age 58. A good friend of my husband's died of kidney cancer at age 68. Many other friends of ours have died of or are currently fighting cancer.

Now my 58 year old husband has been diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer that spread to his upper femur, even though his PSA score was only 6.8 at the time of diagnosis. One of the biopsy samples was a Gleason 9. Even his urologist was shocked that it had spread! He's doing good so far with treatment, but I'm still so upset and sad almost one year since his diagnosis. There is so much uncertainty when you're dealing with cancer.

Keep us updated on your and your friend's conditions. Take care, friend!

Debbie

That REALLY sux Pratoman. Your friend sounds really brave. Please be kind to yourself and we will all be thinking of you tomorrow, wishing you the best of luck, Jaybee.

Prato - We HAVE long lost our innocence. We lost it along with our younger selves. I have shed many a tear over these losses, but none come close to the pain of the tears I shed whenever I lose another friend, relative or loved one. Unfortunately, this is a part of aging. If we live long enough, we're going to lose a lot of people. All we can hope to do is to make a difference while we are here.

Just aging. Cancers are overwhelmingly diseases of aging. For example I have never seen a man under age 40 report a newly diagnosed prostate cancer on this Board. I too have a woman friend, early 70s, healthy but out of the blue just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Because most people suffer cancer after their reproductive years, natural selection cannot help much. As my primary care physician once commented to me, the major death options for most of us come down to cancer or heart disease. Yeah, it sucks.

NewspaperLover

Emotions sure do come and go... Good luck with those tests Pratoman!

Pratoman, yeah it sure does suck. I've had to deal with an awful lot in my life. I never went down the path of God hates me, but I most definitely have been down the path of "ok, I'm pretty sure by now I've more than paid my price for whatever wrongs I committed". As we are getting older we're all starting to see Father Time catch up to some of those around us. I have a close friend who lost his wife to breast cancer not long ago. She left him with 6 kids, ages 10-25. On top of being a type1 diabetic, he caught West ******g Nile (that'll mess you up too) then had 2 of his kids turn type 1 diabetic too. Oh, and they were his 2 youngest.

I think Paxton is right, we lost our innocence long ago. The older we get the more of this crap we see. But you know what? We keep plugging away. My buddy is doing better. His kids are becoming adjusted to life without mom (and he without the love of his life). The diabetes is being managed well, and things have improved. It still sucks, but there is light. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow, so it's up to us to make the best of what we have.