It's not good news

That is sad news. It's not easy to go down this path.

Peace,
Andrew

I’m so sorry to read your post. I’ve been through this, too. While it may have seemed “callous,” knowing when it is time—and the time does come—to say “enough is enough” is really as important and loving a step that a caring physician can make...and that you can honor and lovingly support. I saw my wife’s withering body get subjected to challenging treatments which added little besides more pain. When it's time, it's time. I wish you strength…

Post Edited (NKinney) : 4/10/2018 9:57:57 AM (GMT-6)

So sorry to hear that news Kathy. I hope that you will be able to spend time with your Father as he continues his journey of life.
Michael

You are in our prayers...he will be comforted by your presence...all of you...even when you may think he is not there...and know this...he will always be there...he always was...right?...he will never leave you...its factual...its true substance and evidence

Kathy-

I'm sorry to hear this. I certainly know how difficult it is - the most difficult thing I know I've ever been through. My mother, in her last days, took up pottery and derived great pleasure in making vases for her children. Even just watching TV together was nice. Life is in the details, and quality of life can come from seemingly insignificant events.

Kathy77,

I am so sorry to hear about this latest development.

When my father went through this (lung cancer, though), his doctor gave him and Mom same kind of warning/heads-up. It was about three to six months before he passed. Nobody knows for sure about timing, of course. It does seem a little callous at the time. However, in the near future, you can help your parents make sure all necessary paperwork is in place for this final transition. It may be for hospice care, wills, POAs, etc., and anything else that will make things easier on your mom and you when the time does come.

Of course, miracles can/do happen, and I certainly hope for stabilization in your father's condition. But, thoughts are with you in any event. So sorry about this. You and Mom will get through it.

Robert

Thank you all so much for your support. Am at my parent’s house now... ... I have a little more information. Like I said, clinical trials/chemo etc he didn’t deem appropriate as he said my Dad was too weak and would make him very ill ... However he did say that radiotherapy might be an option (presumably this is too alleviate any pain) but that will be discussed at his next appointment on June 6th.

My Dad is also to continue with his zoladex injections and must take the dexamethasone. So would I be right in thinking that he is still receiving some treatment for his pca? I realise it is palliative care... but... it’s some form of treatment right? It’s by no means an aggressive treatment.. which is probably what he needed a lot sooner but I’m holding on to the idea that it’s at least something.

You’re all incredible and to read your comments is bringing more tears to my eyes. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.

Tall Allen, that’s beautiful that your Mum made vases for her children in her final days ❤️ Nkinney, thank you for your kind words, I’m so sorry to hear about your wife.. I’m a firm believer in something after this life... . Tall Allen and NKinney .. May those you have lost be resting in peace.

I want to respond to you all individually but I’m a little all over the place right now. Dad is sleeping and I’m just going to make sure that I’m there for my family every step of the way x

Just be there for him, Kathy. It will ease both your journey and his. While never easy, it can be rewarding and beautiful. Praying for you.

No words, Kathy. He is blessed to have such a caring daughter. He obviously did all the right things in his relationship with you.
I hope the rest of his journey is as peaceful as possible. And that you find peace knowing that he will always be with you.

Kathy,

I'm sorry to hear about your father's diagnosis. Do whatever you can to keep him comfortable. When it is time look into hospice care. We had hospice in the home when my mother died, and they were a god send.

Hope for the best.

Kathy, So sorry to read this. Thinking of you and sending you strength across the miles. Sue

Thank you to those of you who have messaged ❤️🙏

AK123... what a range of emotions I’ve been through today. Shock, tears, anger that they didn’t treat it aggressively from the off.. anger that there were bone mets on diagnosis which no matter what the dr says... we weren’t made aware of... and right now... So many questions. I desperately want Dad to seek a second opinion but he doesn’t want to. Maybe he will change his mind. I too have similar questions to what you have posted... I compare with others but that in itself is not good as everyone’s case is unique to them. The oncologist was surprised to hear that he wasn’t on a heavier dose of morphine than he is... I take that to mean that the cancer is a lot more wide spread than just in the spine so he would be expecting him to be in more pain than he is. It’s all very surreal. He can have ‘good’ days and bad days. He’s lost a lot of weight and often naps during the day. He’s eating very little... the signs are there that things aren’t looking good... I have no idea how long is left.

I mentioned above, he was told the aggressive treatments would be likely to make him very ill. He’s 79 tomorrow.. today now... I presume that he feels he doesn’t have long enough left to warrant further treatment... and that if he underwent further treatment his quality of life would be poor. I understand this .. it’s just an awful lot to take in. All I can do is be the best daughter I possibly can... I don’t even know if I’m doing the right thing really... Dad said to me that he had just been given steroids ...meaning ‘they’ve given up on me’ my response was that to try and think positively, that he’s still receiving his injections, that the steroids will boost him up and he’ll probably feel a bit better in the next few days. We all know it’s very serious but am I giving him false hope... we all know it’s bad but mentally I feel like he needs just a glimmer of hope... purely because I don’t want him sitting there thinking he has only days left.

To look at him... yes he looks very unwell but I wouldn’t say on death’s door and off I go again with ‘why can’t they do more?!’

Sorry guys... I’m rambling again. You’re all brilliant and I wish every single one of you the very best. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without this forum.

I can’t say this enough... for those people who are new to this... my Dad’s case is very advanced and was aggressive from the off ... this isn’t how everyone’s case turns out. This is a tricky one.

Love to you all x