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Posted 4/29/2018 5:12 PM (GMT 0)
Newbie here and just had worries after MRI show 2 shadows in prostate. One PI RADS3 the other PI RADS4 in transition zone. PSA is 3.75
Im now waiting for an appointment for fusion biopsy.
It's been 3 weeks since the MRI results came back and I haven't talk about it with friends, family or acquaintances. I think it's not right to get everybody panicking around me when I still dont know if its benign or cancer. But it's very hard to behave like you have no worries when you feel knots in the belly and have bad nights.
How do you guys deal with the pressure and anxiety when you are on your own? When is the time to open to others and with whom?
Posted 4/29/2018 5:26 PM (GMT 0)
Hi and welcome - sorry you need to be here. I'll wager that 99.9% of all of the guys here (including me) feel these early days of the journey is the hardest due to the uncertainty of the situation. Being a typical guy, I don't really share feelings or emotions - I just sucked it up and marched on.
Posted 4/29/2018 6:03 PM (GMT 0)
Yes uncertainty. Exactly what I was thinking driving home after shopping. Im on the fence, life changing news may be on the way. All I want is to know and then fight my way out. Im 58 yo and if it is cancer it will be a very early stage.
Posted 4/29/2018 6:15 PM (GMT 0)
Anxiety is a very natural reaction. You wouldn't be human if you didn't feel anxious. Like most of our emotions, it usually fades with time. Good luck with the biopsy!
Posted 4/29/2018 6:43 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Newbie

Sorry you are here. I hope your biopsy will be good news. Find you a prostate cancer support
Group if there is one where you live. I have been in a group for two years, no one will
Understand what we are dealing with except one with PC.
Good luck
Echotango aka E.T.
Posted 4/29/2018 6:46 PM (GMT 0)
Nuance, welcome, hope you are just passing through. But know that if you do become a member of our crappy club, it’s not the end of your world. There is good life after treatment, especially with a PSA as low as yours. But let’s not even go there.

If it’s going to make you feel better, I.e. relieve some of the anxiety, then why not share the burden? You don’t need to talk to everyone, but choose one or two close friends, family, whatever, that you can trust. and share with them what you are going through. I’m sure that important people to you would be happy knowing they helped you through this.
Maybe not your kids, or other close family that would panic, but one or two close friends.

Good luck,I hope the biopsy/ is negative and you disappear from here.
Posted 4/29/2018 7:03 PM (GMT 0)
We all react to the the unknown in different ways. For me, I have, surprisingly to myself, taken it in stride and deal with each step on its own and attempt to avoid going down the "what if" path as much as possible. As each step unfolds I do my research, make plan, and deal with that step. I attribute the ease at which I've approached this to several things.

For one, my wife went through breast cancer two years ago that involved surgery, chemo, and a year of immunotherapy. She came through this all just fine, not fun certainly, but things are back to normal for her but this prepared me for what the medical system's processes would entail.

Another thing that has helped is that for an unrelated issue I did some cognitive-based therapy a few years ago and mindfulness became a regular practice. What it taught me was how to deal with negative thoughts as they enter my mind. I acknowledge them but I don't pull up a chair and invite them to sit down for a visit. Instead, I have a shelf full of positive thoughts that usher them out the door.

Finally, I am a hobby person. I have many of them. They provide me the opportunity to get into a "flow" activity that distracts me from the immediate pressures brought on by the unknown. The one activity that has helped the most is that I rarely go anywhere without my sketchbook. While on the mend for a week after surgery waiting for catheter removal (I went out of state and stayed in a hotel), I drew. I set myself the task to learn a technique I hadn't done before and did that hour after hour. One doesn't have to be an artist or even "artistic" to put pen or pencil to paper. Watch a few YouTube videos, don't judge what you draw, and go with the flow.

As for when to tell people, I held off until I knew what was going to happen. Once I'd scheduled surgery, I told people. I decided to be very open about what I was going through and as a result I met lots of guys who'd gone through it. Heck, yesterday I was at one of our local breweries and of the 5 at our table, 3 of us didn't have our prostates. Just like on this site, there is support all around us.
Posted 4/29/2018 9:50 PM (GMT 0)
Everyone reacts differently to stress but it’s normal to feel anxious and stressed about the unknown. My hope is your biopsy is negative and you don’t have to deal with this. This is a great resource if you do.
It’s been 4 years since my diagnosis and a very rough time emotionally for much of that time. Meetings with doctors, tests, biopsies, treatment option considerations, treatment, and PSA tests were all stressful.
about 2 years into my journey my primary care doctor prescribed Xanax for particularly stressful times. I wish he had prescribed it earlier.
Posted 4/29/2018 11:46 PM (GMT 0)
If you are in Belgium, this Support Group possibility might be explored.

Brussels
Prostate cancer patients
1000 BRUSSELS - Jules Bordet Institute: post-treatment supportive interventions for prostate cancer patients
Isabelle Merckaert 02/5413326

Source:

/www.cancer.be/groupes-de-parole

Charles
Posted 4/29/2018 11:58 PM (GMT 0)
Sometimes I think guys would do well to take the cue from women and realize that just verbalizing things can help. I agree with Pratoman. Find a friend who you think would be comfortable talking with you about it.
Posted 4/30/2018 12:41 AM (GMT 0)
I found it helpful to have a couple of cancer survivors to talk to. People who have not had cancer try to be supportive but, not having been through the process, there is much they just don't understand. It doesn't have to be the same kind of cancer to be helpful.
Posted 4/30/2018 5:14 AM (GMT 0)
Nuance,

While you are picking out the friends you can talk to, or the local support group you can join, feel free to share your worries with us.
Posted 4/30/2018 5:45 AM (GMT 0)
It may be an acquired skill nuance. You will get through this either way nuance. That's a fact. And so will your loved ones.

You wanna speak to me about scared? lol Buddy....let me tell something lol......If we can do it...anyone can do it.

3.75 with pirads 3 and 4....you may dodge a bullet Let's hope so. those aren't shoe in numbers. If they're are some there.....yeah...you gotta tell 'em. It's difficult to work into everyday conversation..."Hey...guess what I found out today!"

But you will find a way....in YOUR OWN way. And life goes on....

Good luck on the results man
Posted 4/30/2018 6:26 AM (GMT 0)
Guys, thanks for all the messages. You are very much a support group. I got a message this morning from my urologist. He is checking if he can upload my MRI for guided fusion biopsy. If not Ill have to have another MRI done. If this one is fine my Doctor said he will try to plan for the biopsy in the next 15 days. I didn't told him about stress but I suppose he knows well about this issue and want to make sure Im not having too long to wait.
There are many guys on this forum who went through hard times so it's good to feel I have an anchor here for the next steps. I will keep you updated.
Can you get back to normal activity immediately after the fusion biopsy? My Mum is invalid and has dementia but for her Im her anchor and I try to visit her every day at the care home. I wonder if I must tell her that Ill be away for a few days.

Post Edited (nuance62) : 4/30/2018 1:57:14 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/30/2018 10:08 AM (GMT 0)
Hi, and you already have started dealing with it by sharing and asking a question here. The key for me is to stay in today and focus on what I know not what I think. You know you have shadows and have a biopsy planned, period. Everything else is a guess. As to sharing with others, I would be selective to those who can hold your confidence. This forum and the guys here will listen and share as long as you need it. Try not to ruin today worried about tomorrow. I wish you will and peace today. Denis
Posted 4/30/2018 11:03 AM (GMT 0)
As far as missing a day with your mom.... I'm 90 percent certain you will not have to miss a day. But my biopsy was under anesthesia so i cannot speak to having it done without anesteshia. (that's how scared I was of everything about this stuff). Most don't have anesthesia.....but still....most go seem to go on about their day.

So someone else will speak specifically to that.


My mom is 89 with bad dementia.

It was especially tough knowing how to....or even if I should....tell her. I decided she had a right to know....kinda like she should know....kinda like she would want to know. So my big sister and I brought it up while she was in an especially good mood...at a happy time and place. Once it "hit home" and...even though she still didn't know exactly what was being said....what she did realize....or i should say... what she feared.... was that one of her children was "in trouble". It scared her. (In her day....that "cancer" word meant something completely different). So she kept asking if it was benign. (about 20 times). Finally....she was able to grasp I'd need treatment but would be fine...and she began to laugh again....as we all did... together. smile


Hang in there.

....as sub denis said....no one knows what if anything is going with your prostate yet. Good luck with getting things going...) smile
Posted 4/30/2018 12:58 PM (GMT 0)

nuance62 said...
...Can you get back to normal activity immediately after the fusion biopsy? My Mum is invalid and has dementia but for her Im her anchor and I try to visit her every day at the care home. I wonder if I must tell her that Ill be away for a few days.


You should take it easy the day of the biopsy, but it shouldn't interfere with your normal activities. You will probably have some blood clots in your urine and semen for a week or two which is normal.

My wife and I cared for our two moms - we know how time consuming and stressful that is. Now we're orphans sad
Posted 4/30/2018 6:13 PM (GMT 0)
Im now resheduled for a new MRI on Thursday. My urologist prefer a higher quality one for the fusion biopsy.
about my 91 y.o Mum she's got, as you said (island time), some times when it would be ok to talk about it with her but the trouble is that after a day she would'nt remember exactly apart that something is wrong or...very wrong and it would haunt her. So nowadays Im here for her but I don't expect her to be here for me. Though I enjoy looking after her and sharing the moment.

I haven't yet received any instruction for the biopsy. My urologist is the one doing it and said I'll have a mix to clean my bowels the night before. He talk about anesthesia though I suspect its local only.
Posted 4/30/2018 7:21 PM (GMT 0)
I think it very much depends on one's personality, but for me:

Throughout my long journey through the "jungle" of various biopsies, MRIs, and then finally diagnosis, I only shared the details with my wife.

Prostate cancer is this very nuanced type of disease with a broad range, and most folks only have a "headline" knowledge of it, and... most don't, understandably, want to know more. They don't really want to get down into the "weeds," as it were, and one can't really begin the conversation without qualifying the details (biopsies, cores, "multi-focal," Gleason scores, MRIs, treatment options, etc.) and it's more than most can handle.

I know that if I told some specific folks about my cancer, the quick and knee-jerk reaction would be (as I tried to explain it): "Yeah, OK, right, so when are you getting it cut out? When's your operation? Tomorrow, right? Because that's what you do with all cancer. You just have it cut out immediately."

Ultimately, I don't want anyone to, unconsciously or consciously, start treating me differently after they know my condition. My perspective was: The only "need to know" folks in this situation are my wife and I.

For me, joining a support group or participating in forums such as this one would provide the most valuable conversations.
Posted 4/30/2018 7:31 PM (GMT 0)
You are very smart to inquire about prostate cancer (and start learning about it) now, before your upcoming planned prostate biopsy, because many men—probably many, many men—go into what's commonly called a "cancer hysteria" immediately after hearing that they have ... the big "C"!!!

In most cases, that reaction is way overblown. In fact in about half of all diagnosis, immediate treatment is NOT even needed, and may never be needed.

"Cancer hysteria" causes many people to make a quick treatment decision to try to "get it out now" and that approach is almost always a bad decision. Patient studies have shown that men who made quick decisions for immediate treatment have the worst "treatment regret," often because they rushed into what was probably (and they didn't really learn this until later, sometimes much later) an unnecessary aggressive, irreversible treatment, and/or because they didn't fully explore options that different medical specialties offer.

As the saying goes: don't be that guy!

At age 58, there's greater than 50% chance that you DO have some detectable form of prostate cancer...so get ready for hearing that news now! Your important first question is not about what treatment you need; rather, your first important decision is about whether immediate treatment in your case is really needed at all.

Post Edited (NKinney) : 4/30/2018 1:38:38 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/30/2018 8:31 PM (GMT 0)

NKinney said...
You are very smart to inquire about prostate cancer (and start learning about it) now, before your upcoming planned prostate biopsy, because many men—probably many, many men—go into what's commonly called a "cancer hysteria" immediately after hearing that they have ... the big "C"!!!

In most cases, that reaction is way overblown. In fact in about half of all diagnosis, immediate treatment is NOT even needed, and may never be needed.

"Cancer hysteria" causes many people to make a quick treatment decision to try to "get it out now" and that approach is almost always a bad decision. Patient studies have shown that men who made quick decisions for immediate treatment have the worst "treatment regret," often because they rushed into what was probably (and they didn't really learn this until later, sometimes much later) an unnecessary aggressive, irreversible treatment, and/or because they didn't fully explore options that different medical specialties offer.

So true McKinney. well said. do not rush into treatment. weigh all your options. As for activity after biopsy. I had mine with no sedation. It was a very interesting procedure. talked with the doc and watched the whole thing on the same screen as the doc. Got up and walked out. fully functional the next day. Note there is lots of blood in ejaculate after. AS FOR SUPPORT. this group is the best for support and information that I have found.

As the saying goes: don't be that guy!

At age 58, there's greater than 50% chance that you DO have some detectable form of prostate cancer...so get ready for hearing that news now! Your important first question is not about what treatment you need; rather, your first important decision is about whether immediate treatment in your case is really needed at all.

Posted 4/30/2018 9:24 PM (GMT 0)
First post by a new member, but a reader who has read almost every message on here first before even thinking about posting. smile

One of best things you can do is to read and learn as much as you can about PC, testing, options, etc.
The posts here are an invaluable source of knowledge and direct experience with PC.
I've read everything posted here, researched everything I could about PSA scores, fPSA levels, types of tests for Bio markers, Gleason scores and current trends and recommendations in the detection and treatment of PC.

Knowledge is power my friend and the more you learn about PC I think the less you will actually worry.
Your PSA level is not bad compared to many and from all my research, an mpMRI can be easily misread by all but the most experienced.

Relax and think positive thoughts, it's too early in the game to be worried.
Posted 5/16/2018 9:50 AM (GMT 0)
UPDATE: the new MRI for a second opinion came with PiRADS 3 i.o. 4 and now my urologist do not consider biopsy is needed. So Im not clear but on the sidelines and surveillance.
So a second opinion was certainly a good call.
Posted 5/16/2018 1:08 PM (GMT 0)

Undecidedtx said...
First post by a new member, but a reader who has read almost every message on here first before even thinking about posting. smile

One of best things you can do is to read and learn as much as you can about PC...

Knowledge is power...

Relax and think positive thoughts, it's too early in the game to be worried.

Great first post undecided, with excellent advise!

If more new guys spent the time reviewing old posts and researching PCa you did, we wouldn’t witness all the knee jerk cancer hysteria mentioned, above.

Glad you found us, but sorry you had to.
Posted 5/16/2018 7:08 PM (GMT 0)

nuance62 said...
UPDATE: the new MRI for a second opinion came with PiRADS 3 i.o. 4 and now my urologist do not consider biopsy is needed. So Im not clear but on the sidelines and surveillance.
So a second opinion was certainly a good call.


Excellent. Your case example is exactly what I posted about in considerable detail earlier today in the thread titled WaPost, "More Men with Low-Risk PCA Rejecting Aggressive Tx, New Study Suggests". Check it out...

Post Edited (NKinney) : 5/16/2018 1:14:07 PM (GMT-6)

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