New Here and My Husband is Having his RP this Week--Suggestions for Support?

Kitty, I want to go on record right now that I would not have been happy with potty pads stolen from the cats. Your husband must be made of sterner stuff than I.

Two weeks before my RALP, we had an interview with the surgeon's resident. After he gave the usual spiel about dietary restrictions in the 48 hours before surgery, my wife asked, "Shouldn't he stop drinking alcohol? It's not good for his prostate, is it?" To which the resident replied, "Mrs Paradise, his prostate's already bad -- that's why we're taking it out. Of course, always in moderation, but..." Glug glug glug...

Something else you should do plenty of in the nights (and days) prior to surgery is give his whatchamacallit a stiff workout. Good for the cardiovascular system too.

Let us know how the surgery goes.

Hello Kitty,

Good to hear from you again.

A few more tips for his recovery:

He'll probably be watching a lot of television. Netflix helps. Broadcast TV sucks because it makes him feel helpless. There's noting more pitiful than a man, trapped in his recliner, with his remote, watching infomercials for egg cookers because there's nothing else on. I went through all the seasons of several sci-fi TV shows I had missed during their initial run.

He will hate his catheter. We all do. He'll probably tell you it doesn't really bother him that much. He'll be lying. Be patient with him.

One thing that guys talk about with the catheter is irritation at the urinary meatus (the opening at the end of the penis) where the tube comes out. You will get lots of advice for various ways to clean and or lubricate this area. The advice is fine but don't expect it to help very much. That sensation is usually caused by irritation of the nerves that run past the stitches in his urethra up near the bladder. A man feels it at the end of his willy because that's where the nerves end but that's not where the problem is.

There will probably be a time while he still has the catheter when he is getting a bit of cabin fever and wants to get out and about. That's when he will be using the leg bag. My surgeon has standing orders that before the patient is given the leg bag the nurse should open the package, find the extension tube, remove it, and throw it away. He says that 99% of the problems with hoses snagging on stuff, pulling loose or leaking involve the extension tube.

There's a kind of "sports tape" that sticks to itself by magic because it isn't sticky at all. It's great for managing the tubing with the leg bag strapped to his thigh. The magic doesn't last forever so have an extra roll handy. Look for "self-adhesive" or "self-adherant" (sports) tape.

Another tip for the leg bag is pants that let him get to the drain (more or less at his knee) without disrobing. I like "convertible" pants that zip off at the knee to become shorts. The zipper is at just the right place to get at the drain hose. Other guys like "tear away" basketball pants that have snaps or Velcro down the sides of the legs. Both are fine. Which you want depends on whether he does more hiking or basketball. Convertible pants can be bought at REI or online. Tearaway basketball pants are available at sporting goods stores or, again, online.

He will probably be at least somewhat incontinent after the catheter comes out. Come back and talk to us before then and we'll tell you what sort of pads and/or incontinence underwear to have on hand.

about four to six weeks after surgery he will lose patience with his slow recovery and get mad at his surgeon and the world. It's easy to screw up one's courage for the surgery and to be stoic for the first few weeks of recovery but healing takes a long time and almost everyone gets impatient after a while.

Let us know how he does. We can help with understanding his post-op pathology report too.

Kitty,

I'm late to this thread, but ...

If you click on the link in my signature below you can read my surgery story. I'm sure it is some of the same advice you have already received.

Best of luck to your husband. May he have a good outcome and minimal side effects.

Thanks again for all of the suggestions! Steve is doing really well. He looks great. Not tired in appearance and he is walking well. His surgeon said his lymph nodes looked good and he didn't see anything unusual in the margins as much as it ispossible to see anything. I'm probably not saying it quite right...I was pretty tired ;) we will hear about pathology on Monday or Tuesday. So far he is.handling the catheter like a trooper. I am waiting on him and feeding him good for you things.

We found out yesterday his grandfather also had pca along with brother and father. His brother went to cancer treatment center in Arizona and had chemo and radiation. His Gleason was 6 or 7.
I know it will be bumpy but he is a strong guy. Thanks again and I will update and be back with questions!
Kitty