Struggling

Kathy I don't know what to say. I just felt compelled to say that I've followed your past threads as well as this one. My father was the strongest, biggest personality in any room he entered (to me anyway). When he was sick, the day before he passed, I told him I loved him and was sorry he was sick. I was holding his hand and he just whispered "me too".. lol...(that's him). I felt him try to squeeze my hand as he said it. (I think he may have also meant it in another way as well).

It was an honest moment for us both.

You are handling this just so well. God Bless you and yours Kathy...

((I think what I'm trying to say is...I can feel you in my heart)

Kathy, isn't it great to have an overnight aide? Did you manage to sleep a little? I think the most amazing person we had for my mom's care was the overnight aide who arrived the second evening after we brought her home. Now, our situation was different: my mom had severe pneumonia, and several weeks on a feeding tube, plus intubation, had damaged her vocal cords and she was unable to speak.

However, the night aide arrived, I moved an easy chair into the room where the bed was, and this middle aged african-american woman came in, took her hand between hers, and said (I remember this exactly, well over a year later), "Miss Audrey, my name is Dolores. I'm here to sit with you tonight". The classical radio was on in the background, and we dimmed the lights, and we all went to bed. Awesome. Just to sit with her. (and more than that).

I trust having someone to sit with him through the night lets him rest, and you rest. Be at peace. I'm sure you know that once he stops taking fluids, his urine production will slow way down, and then it's just a few days--a week at most.

Be at peace.

I’m sorry to hear about how many of you have been through this... it comes to us all at some point... all we can pray for is a peaceful passing.

Dad is still holding on.. we are all with him... we needed to call the district nurses out around 4am as the secretions in the back of the throat were of a concern to us. I believe that it apparently isn’t distressing for the patient themselves however... from time to time Dad would become aware of his breathing and would become a little agitated when trying to catch his breath. I think this is possibly down to the added complication of having a chest infection.

I thought the gurgling was the supposed ‘death rattle’... a phrase I’m not fond of ... but district nurses ... felt that an injection to ease the gurgling would help him. Initially .. when the nurse listened to the noise down the phone it was thought that an injection wouldn’t be appropriate. Once they arrived they felt it was.

Again... apologies if these posts upset anybody. I suppose I find it helpful to write it down. He’s sleeping peacefully now and has been for a number of hours. The priest came round and said his special prayers.


K x

Kathy, my prayers are with you and your family as you face this difficult time.

Jim