Stressed out family members

Jim, I think the best thing you can do is educate her and other family members. Once they realize that this disease is almost always treated as a chronic disease, for years, even decades, it will calm them down. That’s what I emphasized with my kids when I told them I needed to have Salvage Radiation. Once they understood that, they were cool about it.

Hi Jim,
I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis and what your family is going through. Your wife has been through a lot and it's understandable that she is so scared. My husband has G9 PCa and we found out May 15 this year. He chose to do surgery. I posted more details (if you are interested) in a comment to Nytngale last night For now, family members...
For me, it has gotten a little easier with time--it's a "new normal." The day my husband was diagnosed he called me when I was driving to a meeting with his results. I turned around and met him at his job. He manages a retail nutrition store and I got us both coffee next door and I sat in the little stock room and had a freak out for several hours! He went about work and we talked when he didn't have customers. It was a really horrible day. I cried a lot and my mind just raced. He and I are very close and have been together 21 years. We don't have kids and we are best friends.

Sometimes my anxiety gets the best of me but, as many of the guys here will say, it is important to not let this stop you from living now. Being mindful and in the moment isn't easy but it's very important. Continue to do the things you enjoy together and let her know how you are feeling as much as you can. Sometimes my husband holds back his feelings but eventually tells me. If she is open to it therapy could be helpful. Coming here is helpful for me because the people here are so supportive and they get it.

Take good care of yourself and walk or do whatever exercise is helpful to you! You can support her and hopefully she will find a way to cope. I take an antidepressant (I did well before this) and I know that helps a lot now. You are both welcome to email me. There is an icon next to the posts, I think.
Take care!
Charlene

Thanks, all, that’s helpful.

Yes, Pratoman, there is no substitute for education. In ignorance you start to imagine all sorts of scenarios. I was telling my wife about salvation therapies and how they’ve improved, if it comes to that.

Charles384, that’s an excellent idea. In the past I haven’t included my wife but starting in August, going into biopsy 2, she’s come to every consultation. Then we compare impressions. She also remembers questions I forget to ask. I think this has helped her (and me!)

Thanks, Kittytalk371. I was hoping to hear from a wife. We don’t have children either. I think there will be ups and downs, there has to be as that is just human. Thanks for the reminder. And thanks for the invitation to contact you.

Fairwind, we are in the research mode now. We talked to a surgeon yesterday and we’ll talk to a RO on Thursday. We were also asked if we want to consider a Clinical Trial.

Sounds like you're already doing the big thing I'd suggest - include her in the doctor's visits and research. That went a long towards helping my wife understand and be apart of the process.

Andrew