No Question

No question here, I am just feeling the need to share as part of processing over the surprise (denial) of my new diagnosis - localized, intermediate-risk, unfavorable PCa, and early attempts to gather information to make an informed decision on treatment. I am sure none of this is new to the folks here, so bear with me.

While objectively I think I am doing things right - so far met w/2 RO, sending slides to JH for a 3rd opinion, seeing a JH RALP surgeon next week, MRI, CT, Bone scan appointments set up, etc, emotionally I keep going on this roller coaster. I imagine opting for treatment X. I look up on HW and find so-and-so who is 5 years out and still dribbling, and I think "Alas, that's sure to be me too. Forget X, What's the point if my QoL sucks?"
Then I read about some other guy, newly diagnosed w/Stage 4 because his doctor never bothered to test his PSA, and I think of myself, "What kind of @$$ are you to feel sorry for yourself when there's a 99% chance you are going to be just fine. Get over yourself and get on with it!"

So I go back and say OK, how about treatment Y, and I read up on that and .... back on the roller coaster.
Anyway, thanks for being here, and letting me vent.

I was also worriyng about incontinence but it was solved in 2 months. And I guess it takes shorter for most people. Just think you have a great chance to be fine physically and emocionally in a couple of months from now. But all us know how you feel right now.

We all get it. Here's the thing that I think most of us experienced in one way or another: When you get enough information, and you sit down with the doctor or team that you connect with, you'll relax. When you make your decision--whatever it is--you'll relax. You'll know in your gut.

It really does work that way, it's hard to explain, but it happens, more often than not.

In the mean time, you have to live with it. Do things to keep going. Long walks/bike rides. Fishing trips, whatever it is that helps you relax, do those things. The other thing is, and it's also true: There is a thing called treatment regret--and it shows up most often in men who didn't do any research, who just did what their diagnosing doctor told them to do, and had a sucky outcome. Men who do what you're doing, make their call based on their criteria--whatever they are--tend to have fewer regrets, even if they have a less than optimal outcome.

Hang in there, the answers are coming.

Vyn, we all understand...we have been there. The real key for me was to make sure I had thoroughly investigated all possible solutions so that I could make an educated decision. In addition to a surgeon you should see RO's who specialize in SBRT, HDR Brachy and LDR Brachy. Any of those mainstream treatments should cure you. Each of them has pluses and minuses including the considerations about side effects. Once you have extensively surveyed the landscape then take a deep breath...you will be in a position to make a good decision.

Jim

Vyn, like the others, and like you, i had plenty of anxiety and rollercoaster-ness in the two months leading up to my surgery. I channeled the anxiety by just focuing on researching treatments and managing appointments with numerous Drs. And once you make the decision final, you may find some more peace, as many of us did.
Hang in there, get your research done, and vent here any time. Its gonna be fine.

Vyn - Keep in mind that HW and other forums tend to consist of PCa survivors that have had more difficult situations and/or various complications and side effects that make it an imperfect sampling and not necessarily representative of all PCa patients. You have take every time you read something that “scares” you or promises you the “cure” with some skepticism. They are all things to discuss with doctors and then make up your own mind.

I can’t tell you how many times I got whipsawed as I was reading posts and internet articles trying to make my own decisions. I was really high at first on Proton therapy based on the “fanboys” who extoll the virtues of their experience. Then you find out it’s track record is no different than modern IMRT radiation methods (ask your RO) and is not approved by insurance very often now unless the cost is the same. That does not make it bad at all but is where it’s history has ended up currently.

For whatever reasons, I ended up with surgery and did not have any continence issues. I would never tell you to expect my luck with that or how I accomplished that (no idea other than did my kegels before surgery) but not all people have those issues. ED is still an issue but that is the way it goes sometimes with more serious cases or inexperienced surgeons.

Just keep researching and seeing doctors until one of the methods seems to gel in your mind as the right way for your situation and then move on. See, it is pretty simple until until you live it and find it a bit more difficult than that but the concept is what we all had to do at some point.

Vyn - a resource you might find helpful if you don’t mind being on their mailing list

https://www.pcf.org/guide/prostate-cancer-patient-guide/

Thanks for the info pointer. I started looking through it - good stuff but lots of it.