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Posted 12/30/2006 3:07 PM (GMT 0)
Pete,

I'm thinking florida is not the luckiest place to live for you. Maryland is a horse state you know, and we don't get too much snow any more. Great seafood too.

Glen
Posted 12/30/2006 3:29 PM (GMT 0)
Mine too Swim, My little sister Julie owns an equestrian farm in N. Jersey, has over 40 horses there. She teaches kids to ride and jump. She is at a different show every weekend. Her two girls 12 & 16 are nationally ranked show jumpers! As I said before, Why do girls like horses? I wasn't just talking about my wife.
But back to the tragic tales of pathetic Pete. One thing that I failed to mention was that when I saw the 1st orto doc, he sent me to a pain doc who prescribed pain meds for me. I was kind of leary at 1st because of my past drug use but I was at the end of my rope w/ the constant pain and I wasn't drinking anymore so. I started taking percocet and muscle relaxers which progressed to percocet, fentanol patches and some other crap. Then metadone when the morfine pills made me sick. The pain was slowly drifting away along w/ the rest of my abitity to resolve any of my problems.
Sorry Ed, my refrigerater just took a crap! I have to take care of it ASAP. I'll be back later today for more " Dunb and Dumber tales!"
Pete
Posted 12/30/2006 5:02 PM (GMT 0)
I guess I have to call the repair man, fixing refrigerators is not one of my skills. Anyway, my wife talks me into going to see another shrink, this time a lady in Boca Raton. So I'm there telling her my story while crying my eyes out and she tells me I'm seriously depressed. Yah, ya think? So you need to take more pills, what you've been taking is not working! What about the pain pills I'm taking? Oh, you have to keep taking those for now, you are physically dependant on them by now, we will deal w/ that problem later! along w/ marrage counseling and sex theropy! We'll get you all fixed up in time!
So now we are in spring time and I'm on unemployment for the 1st time in my life. I am kind of looking for a job but the whole time I'm thinking how can I work when I can't even walk? My poor wife is stressed out to the max and there isn't much comunication. She is drinking alot, but who could blame her? And I'm still seeing the shrink lady 2 - 3 days a week telling her all my deepest darkest secrets. She just sits there and listens to me spilling my guts out about my past. When I arive there I can see it in her face, this women who has led her whole sheltered life on the right side of the tracks w/ a silver spoon in her mouth never met anyone like me before. She can't wait to get me into that room, I'm like a living soap opera to her! Never gives me any suggestions to make anything better, she just tells me to keep talking. I just keep telling her more and more, the girls, the drugs, the booze, the motorcycles, the crashes, how I met my wife 20 years ago while I was a bouncer and she a bartender back before aids, when my sex life was like a can of worms. Sometimes I thought she was getting turned on listening to me, but maybe it was just because of all the drugs I was taking. They buzz her from the front desk to tell her her next apt. is here but she wants to hear more and we go 10 minutes over. Then like a punch in the face it hits me! I find out my oldest son, a senior has been abusing drugs, lots of drugs! What kind of father have I been? Basking in self pity and drugs to the point I don't point that I don't even realize whats happening in my house right under my own nose!!! They say it takes one to know one but I didn't see this one coming!
Goto go, the repairman is here! I do have to say you guys are a lot cheaper than that srink lady was!
Back later!!
Pete
Posted 12/30/2006 5:24 PM (GMT 0)

Hey Pete, when you are done you will get the bill. Just keep talking.

your friend ed

Posted 12/30/2006 7:39 PM (GMT 0)
Pete,

I'm not sure you've actually sat back and read your posts. You are not unlucky in the least. You are in fact, a most fortunate man. A cat only has 9 lives...LOL!

Swim
Posted 12/30/2006 7:51 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry Swim, I don't mean to sound ungratfull, I am. I pray to God everyday for the way things have turned out for me, espessially in the last 6 months and extra espessially in the lat 2 months. I think I may sound the way I do while writing about the past couple years is because thats how I felt at the time. I have left out more than I've written, not because I am trying to. Just because I'm not that good of a writer and I keep remembering things after the story has passed them. Kinda like the 3 huracanes that hit us during the time line of this story. I'll be back later, I', cooking fish for my family tonight and my Mom is coming over so I have to make it extra good!
Love to all,
Pete
Posted 12/30/2006 7:53 PM (GMT 0)
The best therapy for the "down and outs" that I have found is any meat (beef, pork or chicken) BBQ'd slow n' smokey Kansas City style, South Texas, Carolina east or west, wet or dry; corn bread, Jane's coleslaw, a pile of steak-cut- fries, and fresh corn-on-the-cob . How can you not get Happy? This is way cheaper than a shrink, and even more fun with a bunch of friends. Oh yea; and a slab of Jane's apple pie (I get to peel the apples).

Glen
Posted 12/30/2006 11:55 PM (GMT 0)
Spin, I'm wit ya man! I love my BBQ! I lived out in Austin, Tx back in the early 80s. Boy could they cook brisket. Maybe thats why I hit 300lbs at the time this story takes place!! I'm about 270 and droping now!
All my best,
Pete
Posted 12/31/2006 12:43 AM (GMT 0)
Hi~ Pete…   I’m a firm believer that talking & writing is healthy… keep’er comin’ ...   You truly are amazing and it sounds to me like you’ve come a long “positive” way!!  Give mama "Lisa" a hug!!!      Take care, In Friendship ~ Lee & Buddy   p.s.   I cooked salmon for the 1 st time and it turned out great!!!!    As always… Spinbiscuit has my taste buds jumpin’ all over da place.
Posted 12/31/2006 4:58 PM (GMT 0)
Pete,

I love my brisket too! It's hard to get good BBQ'd brisket out here. The place I used to get it closed just a little while ago. Guess I'll have to build my own smoker. I already have a dry rub recipe if I can just remember where I put it...

Until then I'll make do with some grilled chicken & steaks, but grilling just ain't the same.

Well I hope you all have a Happy & Safe New Year.

Glen

p.s. Lee & Buddy; I had grilled salmon last night too, but at a local restruant. Some times food tastes better if someone else is cookin' it.
Posted 1/1/2007 9:38 PM (GMT 0)

Hey Pete, did you get that fridge repaired yet? I am waiting paitienly for the rest of the story.

Oh, by the way, Happy and Blessed New Year to you and your family.

your friend from pa

Posted 1/2/2007 1:36 AM (GMT 0)

We are waiting patiently for the fridge to be repaired . . . .tap . . . tap . . . .tap

Happy New Year Pete & Family

;o)  Linda & Bob

Posted 1/2/2007 11:57 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry Gang,
I had to go out of town Sunday AM early and didn't have time to post. My nephew is leaving for Irak in two weeks and it was the only chance my family would have to say goodbye. We had a very nice New Years Eve and day with my older brothers family on the West Coast of Fla. My nephew and his new wife cooked and had loads of oysters & clams on ice when we arived there! Goodbyes like that are pretty tough, it was good my son was home on leave from the Navy and got to see his cousin as they have always been very close. I'm back at work and if today is not too crazy, I'll try to start back where I left off!
Pete
PS, Thanks to all for your kind support! Moma Bluebird, I gave my wife Lisa a big hug when I saw your message.
Thanks!!
Posted 1/2/2007 1:41 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Pete,

It is strange how perspectives change. When I was 19, and a infantry private I had no concept of how much my parents, girl friend (now wife), and relatives worried about me. Now I think of the troops in Iraq, and Afganistan all the time, and see how much the families worry for them. It all most seems tougher for the folks waiting back home.

We will all pray for your nephew's safe return, and for all of our brave troops.

Glen
Posted 1/2/2007 2:53 PM (GMT 0)
I'm gona try again guys.
I think I left off when I found out about my son Joe and his drug use. The Shrink we took him to called him "a garbage can junkie." He would take anything he could get his hands on including cough and cold meds. w/ pot being his favorite. I started remembering money being missing from around the house and my wallet. My wife concered. The Shrink (highly recomended by my wife's friends) suggested a nationally recognized, but very expencive rehab center here in S.E. Fla. there are so many here! I agreed and told the Doc I ddidn't care what it cost. I felt so guilty! I blamed it on myself, stressing this kid out w/ all my problems, making a cripple out of myself, his BIG DAD who wasn't afraid of anything! How could I have sunk this low? My srink lady told me it wasn't my fault but I knew in my gut it was! My son's doc checked him into the rehab right away and put him on mega doses of anti depressants and (sychoctropic drugs??) I made up my mind, I had to go back to work! I didn't care about myself anymore, just what was happening to my family because of me and my selfcenteredness. I started making phone calls and within a week I had a job! not exactly what I wanted but it didn't matter. A good friend hooked me up w/ this old Italian guy from Chicago who had just lost his much younger partner and needed someone to help him w/ his residential electrical contracting biz. I fit the bill, I hate "RESSY work" as I was much more used to doing commercial work which was much more challenging and less boring than houses. At 1st I hit it off pretty good w/ the old guy, being half Italian on my Dad's side we both liked the same foods plus he didn't care about all the Legal drugs I was taking as long as I got the job done, plus the pay was pretty good. It turned out he was the money man and didn't know too much about the technical end of the biz which his ex-partner took care of. But it didn't take long to figure him out. Ex mob, if there is such a thing. Been in Federal Prison and was one mean S.O.B.
To be continued!!
Pete
Posted 1/2/2007 5:13 PM (GMT 0)
Ding Dang - it!!, I just wrote a bunch and when I submitted it it asked me to login, I tryed, it said wrong and dumped me and my whole post! Ouch, so I hit the line that says, forgot your password? and put it in again to get back here. Did that ever happen to anyone?

I'll try again.
They put my son in a two week detox and we couldn't see or talk to him. Back at work, I was starting to get a feel for what was going on, the boss had been taken to the cleaners by his partner who had dissapeared one day and left him w/ a bunch of unfinnished work he was under contract to finnish. The whole sittuation left him pretty untrusting and very cranky! Working in S.E. Fla for the last 20+ years had given me plenty of friends in the biz who sold electrical material which is what I used to do and I started using them to get this guy going again. In no time we were finishing up jobs and starting new ones and getting capital moving and lines of credit open again. But there was a problem, this guy liked to yell and yell alot. I told him he wasn't my Father and shouldn't be yelling at the person who was saving his biz. He said it was just his personality and I shouldn't take it serious and I was doing a great job. The next day he would yell even louder! Then I found out that he had just left his 4th wife who he had been with for over 20 years for a young Thai girl 40 years younger than him who he had been spending all kinds of $$$ on. As fast as we would make $$$, he would spend it.
Back at the rehab the 2 weeks had passed and we were aloud to see Joe. He had started smoking ciggeretts and wasn't the same. He was there but he wasn't there, like a zombie. The Doc's said he was doing great and that he was a great kid who got along with everyone there. My wife and I were new at this and believed everything they told us. Then they moved him along with about 30 others from all over the country and all ages and different drug habits to an appartment bld. about a mile from the beach with a swimming pool and volley ball court. The kind of place most people wouldn't mind going to on vacation. He was put in a 2 bedroom apt. with a older guy from up north. They had a kitchen where they were aloud to cook food they bought at the grosery store on Sat. and a cable TV in the living room. Not too shabby. We we aloud to visit every Sunday. One thing that I haven't mentioned is my younger son Pete Jr. He idolized his older brother, it broke his heart what had happened to him and he was already hurting from his Dad's problems. "Dad, what's the matter w/ Joe? why does he act like he dose?" All I could tell him was that it was the meds they were giving him and the doc's knew what they were doing. God only knows what he thought about me? I was still seeing my shrink lady and taking the meds. she prescribed as well as the painkillers to be able to get out of bed in the A.M. for work.
To be cont.
Pete
Posted 1/2/2007 10:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Pete,

Yea I've done the same thing, a couple of times. Hey but, I'm 61 and don't claim to be a Tech-genius.

So far your life has been like a movie, and a heck of a better story that the *%&$# HollyWood puts out today. If you get this into book form it would be on the NY Best Seller list pronto. I can't imagine one person having to deal with all this, and surviving. The Lord must have plans for you.

Glen
Posted 1/3/2007 12:52 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Spin,
Sometimes I wonder about that. You are not the 1st who has told me that. Sometimes I wonder if everyones life is as complicated as mine? When I look back at the whole picture I just can't beleive that I'm still here! I feel like just an ordinary person, nothing special, not better than anyone else, just standard equipment, ya know? So how did everything get so crazy? There is so much more to tell, so much I left out. Last night after work, a really bad day at work I went home with a terable head acke and my wife Lisa told me she had read this thread and been on this site for the 1st time. I guess I wasn't suprised as she knew I had been writing alot about myself here. I felt kind of funny about her reading it because I did leave so much out and she is so much better at this kind of thing than I am. I asked her what she thought about it but didn't get back much of a reply, just it's good you are writing about yourself. She has lived it with me. She is such a big part of my life, Hell, I never would have made it out of the 70s if it hadn't been for her! It made me think about this post. Why am I doing this? No one else is writing a big song & dance about themself here. I'm sure there are much more interesting people w/ lives a whole lot better to read about than mine. Is it really doing anybody any good? I am so glad the hollidays are over! I had a great time w/ my family and will miss my son Joe so much when he leaves but I need to get back to my normal structured life again. Then I can find out if the testosterone theropy I am on is working. I'm so tired from the traveling and excitement of the passed two weeks. I have so much to do at home, my house is still a mess from the last huricane! I need the energy and motivasion to get everything done! My wife has been strugling with it but I really haven't been much help. This may be the end of this stupid story, I don't know, there is so much more to tell but I just don't know if I should continue. I'm not fishing for encouragement from ya'll, I just have to figure this thing out myself. I know I'm not making much sense, and am thinking outloud. Any way, later!! Thanks again for listening!!
Love to all my brothers & Sisters here,
Pete
Posted 1/3/2007 1:05 PM (GMT 0)

Hey Pete, take a break. Our prayers are with you and your family. It is time for you to catch up with what is happening today, not yesterday. We are always here for you, what a great forum!

God Bless You!

Your friend, ed from pa

Jesus Christ Big C

cancer small c

Posted 1/3/2007 2:55 PM (GMT 0)
Pete -- we're here to "listen" whenever you have something to say, but by no means feel pressured by the need to post.  You do what works for Pete. . . but for heavens sake stay with us!  You are a valuable person in this group!

;o)

Posted 1/3/2007 3:15 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Pete,

Yes it does help. It helps you because unloading all of this will keep your head from exploding (we don't want that), and for all of us it shows how much the human spirit can endure. I'm amased. Frankly my problems are paled by comparison. So you have certainly helped me, and I'm sure many others get a new prospective on our life situations.

Thanks for sharing your story, and we would like to hear the rest of it if you can find the time. Look at the number of posts to this thread. We all care.

Glen
Posted 1/3/2007 4:02 PM (GMT 0)
Pete,

Not everyone has a need to spill their life for a lot of reason's. Some say nothing and do fine while others yet, need to before they burst. Some people have just that good of a support system.

You have had a colorful life consisting of some unpredictable and unavoidable situations... and a few that were self made. Normally, I'd say that is well rounded but nah....you have been on the extreme ends of normal...LOL! Now that your life is starting to land in the middle more, you want to normalize it further by unloading some of old realities. Do what ever you like. I'll bet there is at least one person in here saying to himself....darn, and I thought my life was tough!!!! :>) Probably a few more on their knees giving thanks that their's hasn't been! If for no other reason, you might consider finisihing the rest. People sometimes need a picture in order to see their own life in a different light. ;>)

Swim
Posted 1/3/2007 5:40 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Spin, Law, Ed, & Swim!
I guess I'm in one of those moods again. Maybe it's my horemones? Do I sound like a mixed up teenager? Work is going at light speed after the holidays and I'm having trouble keeping up. The housing market here in Fla. has pretty much turned off. Houses that were 1 million are now going for 500 & 600K. But I guess it's like that all over! But I work in the commercial side and building is still going bannana's. Shopping Centers, Hotels, Medical Blds. are going up like crazy. We have about 150 guys working in the feild, 5 project managers and 20 foremen calling me w/ material orders. We have over 100 jobs in some state of completion. I'm a purchasing agent for a large Electrical Contractor here in S.E.Fla. I do all the buying, I write the PO#s. Sometime I get perks like last week while my brother was here I got 4 tickets to see the Fla. Panthers play the Caralina Huracanes (Stanley Cup Winners) and our seats were in a private skybox. My two boys & brother loved it. We had a great time even though it went into OT and the Panthers lost. The best part was the private bathroom in there. No waiting in line! For me "Sir Pissalot" it's great! I don't do anything illegal or the boss doesn't know about, when he hired me I told him I'm the most honest guy you ever hired! And I wasn't lying. I don't lie, steel, or exstort anything with my PO# writing power. I really like my job now unlike the Mobster I used to work for but thats in the story I haven't written yet.I'm so sorry to ramble, I don't know how I got started. Give me a while and you good folks will know me better tha I know myself!
As always, Pete
Posted 1/3/2007 5:54 PM (GMT 0)
Spin (Glen),
Some how I managed to miss the nice post you wrote above about my nephew and the troops. Thanks for your kind words. It's a hard time for a lot of familys, my heart goes out to all of them. Before my testosterone treatments started to kick in, I used to cry an awful lot, sometimes for no reason. If I saw the evening news or heard news of our boys & girs getting killed I could not stop myself from crying. Now that I'm a man again and have stopped the silly crying, I still cry every time!!!! I hate war! I don't want to get political here, it's not the place for it. If I could give my life for any one of those kids, I would. It's just not right!
Pete
Posted 1/3/2007 5:56 PM (GMT 0)

Hello and Happy New Year to you all!

I'm Lisa, Pete's wife, and just wanted to say a couple of things.  Firstly, my heartfelt thanks to you all for the prayers, support, and encouragement you've so graciously offered to my husband.  I cannot begin to tell you how wonderful this forum has been for him during this latest phase of his healing process.  Your thoughts, wisdom and sincere concern have helped him more than I can say here.  I pray too that his story will offer something to someone else, so they will find hope and strength to heal and move on.

 

Secondly, finding your group when he returned from California couldn't have come at a better time!  The trip out west was a turning point for Pete emotionally.  He has harbored all those feelings so deep inside, unwilling, or unable to vent them with me for YEARS. By not discussing his fears, anger and even successes, I  believe he was, and continues to try and "protect" me somehow. 

 

He would never open up to me. Too difficult to talk about, and the ever present "Lis, you just don't understand, you don't KNOW how I feel".. "True enough", I thought and so I left him alone, left us alone.  Yeah, I know...uh oh..no communication happening here...BIG mistake!  But now I see hope in him, for him and for us. I'm beginning to see little glimmers of the man I once knew and still so dearly love. 

 

So you may not hear much from me, but I really want you all to know what a truly terrific bunch you are and how grateful I am that you're here helping my love on his journey to better days. You're all in my prayers and may the New Year bring you great happiness, health and success!

 

Oh and Pete...don't write about the Mobster, okay?  Love you!

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