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Rod's PSA is rising, but he won't do anything about it.

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Posted 6/5/2008 2:40 AM (GMT 0)
Hello Gang,

Rod's PSA is rising (.4 .7 .9 ). He was advised last March to receive radiation. Every time I ask him about it he tells me he'll call next week but he never does. He will not give me a straight answer. He told me that he is not fearful and I see no evidence of depressive symptoms. I feel abandoned and alone. I have no support system.

Maria Teresa


PS - myman (Susan) I emailed you back, but I'm not sure if you received my message.
Posted 6/5/2008 2:43 AM (GMT 0)
If you would please email me so we can talk further about this. I do care and want to help.

peace and love
Dale
Posted 6/5/2008 3:43 AM (GMT 0)

We had to make my father's first appointment and then he rescheduled, but at least he rescheduled and went.  He was putting it off too.  I think the emotional and physical toll of having to gear up for another round of treatment is pretty overwhelming for most.  If you made the appointment or had the cancer center contact him to schedule an appointment, do you think he would go?  Wishing you the best. 

Posted 6/5/2008 4:09 AM (GMT 0)
Maria Teresa,
You have us here. we have exchanged messages before and my door is always open for you. my goodness. You are not alone. Your husband still has time. Hang in there and don't hesitate to reopen that door. I will gladly jump through it for you.

Tony
Posted 6/5/2008 4:16 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Maria Teresa,

Sounds like we are in the same boat. My husbands post op pathology was also a Gleason 9 and he had positive margins. His PSA is now 0.6 and we have another one coming up on 6-24-08. Rick has said he wants no further treatment and I am still hopeful that he will change his mind. The only advice I can give you is hang in there and prepare yourself for what ever you have to face with or without treatment. I understand my husbands reasons for not wanting to go further as he has had 18 major operations and lives with pain on a daily basis. Maybe you can see what your husbands reasons are for not going and then support whatever decision he makes. I know that is hard to accept but sometimes we have to look at things thru their eyes.

Warm Wishes

Diana

Posted 6/5/2008 2:26 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Maria,

I feel for you my husband is the same way, push me I'm coming. Sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horns and do it yourself. I don't know if it's a case of denial or they just don't see the seriousness of the situation.
Posted 6/5/2008 2:53 PM (GMT 0)

Maria-My husband had to just make the decision to start radiation next month. His PSA has been rising for the past 4 years so he decided to pursue it further. I went with him to his appointment with the radiologist so I could hear first hand what he had to say and what was recommended. I want my husband to grow old with me and I encouraged him to do the radiation. We talked about it alot and went over all the pros and cons of starting it now rather than later. By the way his PSA is 0.04. He was told at some point in the next year or so he should do radiation so we decided why wait..lets do it now and be on our way.

It actually took 3 months going back and forth about when to do this but now that the decision is made he is ready for it. Maybe you can make the appt. for him then it would help.  It  just might be overwhelming for him to pick up the phone and make the call himself. Good luck and I hope things go well for you.

Posted 6/5/2008 3:09 PM (GMT 0)
Forcing another human being to endure sometimes unbearable treatment because we want them to, is placing ourselves first. One of the hardest things in the world to do is find courage where fear dominates and embrace our loved ones anyway. Sometimes they will change their own mind. Invasive treatment has to be the patients decision. Rod will be a lot more egar and ready to fight if and when he makes his own decision. Many people choose quality over quantity.

Another extremely difficult thing to do is to put understanding in the shoes of need and make it fit. The shoe is a perfect fit actually... but, it's like wearing heels when all one has ever worn are flats. It's both an unsteady feeling and quite painful at times. Wear em a while and it will become natural to walk in them.
Posted 6/5/2008 11:10 PM (GMT 0)
Maria Teresa-

"I feel abandoned and alone." Does your husband know this? Since the SEs of radiation, if any, are pretty minor, I feel your husband is doing both of you a disservice. He's not being fair to either one of you.

-Les
Posted 6/6/2008 1:02 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Maria, make the appointment for him, tell him from me that the radiation is a breeze compared to the surgery, it is non-invasive and side effects minimal, I had it 4 months after my surgery when my psa came back at .5 twice, I do hope you succeed in convincing him, especially with rising psa, and also, like the others say, we are here for you.

Regards Mal.

Posted 6/6/2008 11:25 AM (GMT 0)
Maria Theresa - I'm working in PA at the moment, just logged on here and saw your post. I checked my hw email and saw your note to me. I apologize - I don't check this one often - I'll get back to you by the end of the day.

You have much support here. The comments posted have information, advice and love.
Read them again...perhaps Rod will read them and gain a different perspective, maybe not.
He may feel strongly that this is his decision and in such a grave matter, I believe, every person must make their own.

Must get back to work.
Later,
Susan
Posted 6/6/2008 4:51 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Everyone,

It's such a relief and a blessing to know that I can count on my friends, here on this forum, for support. I believe at this point all I can do is let go and let God as far as Rod is concerned.

Hugs to you!

Maria Teresa
Posted 6/7/2008 12:27 AM (GMT 0)

To All who matter

I am a Gleason 10.  MD Anderson had me METS before all the tests were in.  There are others here that have advanced PCa and continue to fight. There is always hope unless one gives into this thing called PCa.  Today made me more resolve than ever.  Seeing a young boy going thru radiation treatment and I have no idea what else.  How can I not fight.  I know I am probably not alone when I say there are days I just want to go home, but I won't quit on Life, my wife, my kids, my grandkids.  Just let your loved one know how important they are even though they probably already know it.  Let them know that every day is a day of    joy that will be missed if they give up and give in.  But beyond all else continue to love and support them.

Richard yeah tongue yeah

Posted 6/7/2008 7:26 PM (GMT 0)
A short story here:  I learned my father had prostate cancer that was fairly advanced and had metastasized to the hip bones.  He had radiation, and was on Lupron, had an orchiectomy, was on Casodex.  He was depressed as all get out initially, and in fact seemed utterly disinterested in life.  But after a while he came around.  If I seem vague on his treatment, it is because he lived 12 years after his metastatic diagnosis and the specifics got lost in the many years of good times he had following his struggle.   He traveled alot, he took up woodworking with a passion and socialized a good deal.  He eventually passed away at 81 from another cause.  There is a lot of hope.  Good luck.  Val's spouse
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