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Posted 2/6/2009 12:04 AM (GMT 0)
Great Italian Sex

The Jewish man said, 'Last week, my wife and I had great sex. I rubbed her body all over with schmaltz (chicken fat),we made passionate love, and she screamed for five full minutes at the end!'

The Frenchman boasted, 'Last week when my wife and I had sex, I rubbed her body all over with butter. We then made passionate love and she screamed for 10 minutes!'

The Italian man said, 'Well, last week my wife and I also had sex.I rubbed her body all over with olive oil. We made love, and she screamed for over six hours!'

The other two were stunned. The amazed Frenchman asked, 'What could you have possibly done to make your wife scream for six hours?'

The Italian said............


'I wiped my hands on the bedspread.'


Sorry guys.......Sometimes wives get mad at a lot of things....other than sex....Dont take it personal.......D yeah
Posted 2/6/2009 12:06 AM (GMT 0)
That was a good one, Diane, still laughing. I got fussed at last night because (being lefthanded) I put the toliet paper on backwards (if there is such a thing). I have the paper unroll underhanded, and I was told the right way was off the top.
Posted 2/6/2009 12:16 AM (GMT 0)
David....I cant believe I wrote this post.......But I was mad at Pete for something totally not related to anything medical...we wives also have the same issues as before cancer.....Thanks for understanding and posting...I appreciate it tremendously...I dont feel guilty now!! Good for your wife!! Di
Posted 2/6/2009 12:49 AM (GMT 0)
Hey wait a minute...I'm Italian...oops....oh...
Posted 2/6/2009 12:51 AM (GMT 0)
Now Diane, don't fuss at the poor, poor, Pete. And yes, my wife fusses (not often though) about the stupid things I do wrong just like before. Actually makes me feel less like a patient and more like my old self.

Keep em coming Diane, I needed a good laugh, just told your joke to my wife.

David
Posted 2/6/2009 10:17 AM (GMT 0)
The Black Bra

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.

One is engaged,one is a mistress, and of course I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting  about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by wearing a black leather bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here's how it all  went.

My engaged friend:

The other night my boyfriend came over and found me with a black  leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw  me and said,  'You are the woman of my dreams.. I love you.' Then we made love all night long.

The mistress:

Me too! The other  night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels and mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story:

When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.

As soon as he  came in the door and saw me he said, "What's for dinner, Batman?"


 

Posted 2/6/2009 1:22 PM (GMT 0)
Steve, the 3rd version is the most likely in my household. lol
Posted 2/6/2009 1:51 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Steve! You gotta laugh! (sometimes through your tears), but it really does help relieve stress. They say that even moving your mouth into a fake smile when you are by yourself makes you feel better. Something about releasing endorphins....Di
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