Pad absorbancy

Four weeks after surgery and I'm leaking as previously discussed on this forum and men such as Astro also complain about. Now heres the rub. I just had an argument with my wife about the pad type and absorbancy. She bought me a light womans pad. I bought a mens extra absorbancy. She argues that the more a pad absorbs, the less I want to control my bladder and the longer I will leak. I argue that I constantly try to control the leaking and more absorbancy protects better. I also argue that the mens pads fit better. She is stubborn. What is your take on pad type and absorbancy?

Sam 

This discussion seems all too familiar. I agree with you on the absorbancy part and in addition, men's and women's pads can be contoured differently. We found that there was a difference for my dad even between brands. Certain pads didn't stay in place quite as well. He also found that with the extra absorbency pads, he didn't have to change them as much, which was especially important once he returned to work and normal social functions.
I understand your wife's rational, but it is different than potty training at this point and you will not want to be toting around a bunch of thin pads that you will have to change all the time. My father had problems with this in the beginning, because most of the men's restrooms don't have trash bins in the stalls and you obviously can't flush the pad down the toilets. As David said, you are just out of surgery and while your wife's intentions are good, from my family's experience, you might need a little more time. Good luck on your road to dryness.

And in the for what it's worth catagory - I kind of like the "Mind over Bladder" idea.

At my first 3 month doc visit,I was wearing 1 to 2 pads a day...My surgeon said he wanted me off the pads by the next three month visit. He said it like I had some sort of choice in the matter..

Very next day (which was a Saturday) I didn't use a pad and haven't used one since.

I had the urologist say that to me.......about not wearing a light pad otherwise I might continue to leak slightly. Fair crack of the whip. Does he really think that because I'm wearing an ultralight pad I'll just stand there and piss myself a little rather than try and control it. I lose a drop or two when I really exert myself and I have taught myself to "squeeze before I sneeze" or "grip before I rip". Sometimes I believe those docs should get out and indulge in a little heavy manual labour and real physical exertion before uttering silliness like that.
Bill

David the passing gas...that will be the toughest part. To this day I still have to concentrate really hard before passing any gas (which for some reason seems to be more since surgery. Don't understand that one). Seems like when I relax just enough to pass the gas...I leak at the same time. Haven't figured how to control the muscles correctly yet without doing both at the same time. I find it just easier to hold the gas and find a restroom and then relieve both.

I agree Les and Sandstorm, as a normal gross guy, the passing of wind was an art form to me, taught it to my sons (make your daddy proud), so now its hard not to just pop one off at will. I too, try to be dignified and make it to a bathroom and deal with it. lol. at first, the coughing or sneezing was hard, but got that down to a science for the most part.

I know that I could Kegel untill I threw a cramp and it would make no difference in my leaking. I believe if a guy in on the verge of regaining control the "mind over bladder" approach may help get to that next step. But if your body is not ready or is never going to be ready no ammount of mind control is going to work.
Hang in there,
KW