Starting on nooky (a little rambly)

We (my 40-years-sweetie and I) had the post-surgery follow up with the doc last Friday, 7-1/2 weeks after surgery. As noted below, PSA is great - evidence so far is the little dragon is gone, gone, gone (yes, I know I'll have to watch regularly forever).

Continence has improved dramatically in the last couple of weeks. I'm still wearing a pad during the day, but down to about one "spurt" per day, small quantity, usually caused by getting out of bed or stepping forcefully and not thinking about squeezing as I do. I'm able to walk longer distances - which was a problem at first, couldn't go a block without needing to pee. Saturday, I walked all the way downtown (1/2 mile), including a digression of two blocks to thank the police officer for pulling over the idiot who failed to stop as I was crossing in a crosswalk; went to the video store; went to the library; came home; and peed just because it seemed safer than not.

OK, says the surgeon, you can check those two off, now it's time for erectile function. I'm prescribed one Viagra, twice a week, wait 20-30 minutes, then go at it (this is not the language he used, but is more or less the tone in which it was delivered). When I raised questions of urine release during orgasm, he minimized it, saying, "it's sterile." When I had asked earlier whether my internal sphincter had been removed, compromised (permanently), or just thrashed (won't know for a while how it's functioning), he also minimized that, saying there's no evidence that the internal sphincter is necessary for continence.

First off, my wife and I are both more than a little grossed out about the idea of me peeing into her. Second, at this stage in our lives (60's, with my wife seven years post-hysterectomy), it takes a while to get rolling anyway.

I understand everyone's history is different - but is urinating during orgasm always a lifetime thing, or does it fade away in some cases?

Any G-rated suggestions welcome (this being a public forum and all).

My experience:
As I became more familiar with what it took to hold back/clamp down the urine, I was able to stop almost all episodes of it. You gotta have time for the brain and the nerves, along with the battered bladder to figure out how to work together again. Continence is a good start, but you will really learn the feelings and how to control it by being involved in the act of stimulation, orgasm and control. Whether you learn this by yourself, with help from the wife or during full intercourse, it will be a learning process to figure it out. If it really becomes an issue, then using a condom has been recommended here, as well as using a small sized penis ring to hold the urine back until after sex. All this is dependent on that Viagra working, of course..... I hope it does right out of the chute....

I'm about 14 months out and the urinating during foreplay and orgasm has diminished to nothing at all.

It was very discouraging to my partner and I.  I didn't know at the time if this would be a permanent part of my life.  I couldn't find any info as to whether it would go away on it's own or if there was any treatment available.  It is called "climacturia", and a lot of us here on the forum have dealt with it.  I think as the bladder heals things kind of go back to normal.  Remember, two of the three sphincter muscles are gone with the removal of the prostate.  Give it some time and I think it will resolve itself.  Good luck.