Instructions for Graceful Aging

The author of this just turned 90 last month. He has been a friend for many years and has had PC treated by seeds about 10 years ago. He has also had obstructive uropathy, so I think his wisdom may help some on this forum. Harry Adriance has published several booklets and books and is gifted with a grand humor.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR GRACEFUL AGING

Bladder, buttocks, prostate too. So listen up, it’s good for you.
Let us think of the bladder first. Before it complains about a thirst.
We never thought of it complaining until, inside our pants, it’s raining.
As bladder-buttocks-prostate grow, one must separate rain from snow.

First of all a “bladder scan” says what bladder wouldn’t do - but can.
It ‘ll get plugged up some morning at 3 – take-my-kingdom-let-me pee!
The reverse can easily come to pass. Go into hiding - water the grass!
Bladders are happy, rarely dejected. Absorb my wisdom be protected!

Get some dough, be ready to spend, on a useful item called “Depend.”
If at first you didn’t care, you’ll be pleased to learn it’s underwear!
Slip it on, you’ll quickly see, it’s been designed to catch your pee.
I guarantee you’ll be so thankful - to find that it’ll hold a tankful.

Forget details we refuse to mention. Bladder has enough attention.
Buttocks thinks it’s somewhat fine to be posted on the firing line.
Where it’s quite OK to listen in on what takes place twixt sex and sin.
So deal now with prostate’s duty, which earns a rank of Dour Cutie.

Prostate cozies up to bladder, planning to make you glad - or sadder.
Women don’t have one so what to do? Good sex you see is up to you.
Yell at prostate if you choose, but you may be better off with booze.
He and bladder control your draining. So look out, again it’s raining.

This is enough of my instruction. I anticipate your own destruction.
Do you think I’ve aged with grace? Never mind, I can see your face.
You didn’t think it would be like this in dealing with a simple piss.
Actually it’s relatively tame if you remember life’s just a game.


Old Man Adrunce
On his 90th

OH I can pee, pee just fine,
That's not the problem in my case
With zero PSA I will not whine,
But soggy pants are hard face.