New Here hope you can help

Welcome to HW, worried. Glad your father has a son or daughter watching over him. So he is on the recovery side of surgery, and his pathology report must not have been great. There's still lots of reason for hope.

Is there any way you can post some of the stats of your dad's case so we can have an idea of what is going on with him?

We will be glad to help and to support you through this, this is a great place to be.

David in SC

Dear Worried, Sorry you have to joon this exclusive club, but this is the best place to get info. It would help if you included more stats of your father's situation in the signature. Your father has a "locally advanced" disease. It sounds like stage T3b. There are several here on the site with this stage. Mine is T3a, a little less spread, but still an advanced cancer. In a month or so after surgery your dad is going to have an all important PSA test. If it shows PSA under 0.1 then he will have a few choices, if more the choices are fewer. First, take a deep breath - this is not the end of the world. He will most likely enjoy many more years. Your being calm and supportive will go a long way. Now to the choices. (Guys with more experience will correct me if I misstate anything). If PSA is undetectable after surgery (less than 0.1) he can wait to see if PSA will go up. The advantage of this approach is that he has time to heal and that sometimes no further treatment is needed. This is called salvage therapy and is usually in the form of radiation (with or without hormon treatment). The other alternative is an adjuvant therapy (same as salvage, usually radiation). The advantage is earlier intervention, the disadvantage is that it may stop healing progress. If his PSA does not go to undetectable then hormon therapy is likely in his future, with or without radiation. While everybody reacts differently, radiation is usually not to bad with few side effects. In my case, I am 36 treatments into a series of 40 and am feeling fine. I am a bit tired, but not enough to keep me from doing everything I used to do before, including full time job. Don't panic, post your fathers stats (age, PSA at dx, % positive cores at biopsies, Gleason, pathology report, etc) and stick around - there is a lot of collective withdom and compassion here. Finally, even aggressive PCa is moving slow, let your father take time understand the choices, talk to a few doctors to compare their views and only then make a decision. Greg

This is good info. 3+4 Gleason cancer tends to behave more like Gleason6. So, it is not that aggressive. One additional question I have is Were there any positive margins or capsular penetration on the pathology report.

Hi 1worried. As you can see from my alias, Sleepless, I can identify with your 'worried' and I know it is facile to tell you not to worry. Nevertheless, don't worry, and if you must worry, don't panic. My dad got prostate cancer when I was about three/four years older than you, it was far more aggressive than your dad's (mine couldn't be operated on for one thing) and when he died 20/25 years later it was his heart that got him ---- the PCa was never a problem.

I'm a 3 + 4 like your dad and we're both lucky to have a cancer that's only moderately aggressive. I have a friend whose stats are near the same as your dad's but he has a far more aggressive PCa. After surgery his PSA started to go up. He was zapped with radiation. His doctor said the surgery had knocked the cancer down, now it just needed to be knocked out. I was talking to him on the phone not ten minutes ago. He's doing terrific. His PSA is so far undetectible. Oh yes. I should tell you, "so far" is 18 years. It was 18 years ago he had the radiation to knock it out.

Please do keep us posted on your dad. He's a lucky guy to have an up and at 'em 24 year old daughter. And, I bet he's a great dad too!

Give him our best wishes,

Sheldon AKA Sleepless

Sleepless,
I cannot tell you the amount of relief I felt after reading your post. I was laying in bed after my alarm went off this morning as thought....hmm I might as well go check this and see if anyone posted. So glad I did. I am currently student teaching full time, working, planning a wedding, ya know all that busy stuff. Yet, the only thing I can think about 24.7 is my dad (although he tells me not to.) Thank you for your kind words corvette man, I hope both of you will be in touch and, hopefully, I can be of some help to somebody on here, not just the one getting the help.

Hi 1Worried,
I am in the same ship as your father. I am a pT3B guy as well. I just completed my 2 and a half year mark after surgery and I am in remission. I did have radiation, and also had hormonal therapy. There is hope for good things and you should stay positive about them. My email is open if you would like to chat about my experience, and don't be shy.

Tony

Dear 1worried,

I thought the guys gave you a lot of good advice this evening. I have a daughter too, she's a real daddy's girl and is 28. Even though she has been married for almost 5 years, she still calls and checks on me every single day. I have two sons too.

I can always talk through things with her, can be very open at all times, and she can give me another angle to anything I am worrying about.

I too am a Gleason 7 (3+4) but am a stage 2 not a stage 3 like your dad. Everyone thought the surgery "got it", but within 6 months, the cancer is still there. That is why I am in the midst of having Salvage Radiation Treatments. You can follow my other threads on my current treatments or those of other men going through the same thing.

So glad you found us here. We are indeed a brother hood of men united by our prostate cancer journeys. we have a lot of good sisters here too in the form of wives of men, and several little sisters just like you, the daughters of the men.

Just so glad your father has you to watch over him and his condition and situation. He has lots of time and plenty of options in front of him, so take it one step at a time and allow yourself time to continue to enjoy your father, cancer or no cancer.

May the peace of the Lord be with you both,

David in SC

David,
This site has been wonderful. Your relationship with your daughter sounds just like mine with my dad. I am such a daddy's girl..maybe a momma's girl too ha! Just really close with both my parents I guess! My dad has such a good since of humor. Last night he said..."Look, I'm not worried about dying. But when am I going to have sex again?" Ewwww!!!! So of course my mom laughs and I am totally grossed out. Anyhow, it is obvious both your daughter and I have great dads. And boy don't we know it!

Well, worried, how do you think you came into the world? Dropped into a cabbage patch by a stork? Lol.

Your dad sounds cool.

I would love to meet your father here sometime. You already did a great introduction for him!

Worried-
I know your fears all to well. As you can see from my signature, I was in a very similar situation two years ago with my father. It is such an emotionally exhausting journey, but stay positive. Your family sounds very similar to mine, and we laughed, cried and laughed some more during the experience. It is a long road, but fortunately there are many treatment options and as others have posted, so many men do extremely well. It is funny you mentioned that your dad brought up "sex", because after my dad's treatment, we are able to talk about pretty much anything. We have always been close, but we have discussed everything from gas, urine, catheters, rectal exams, sex....the list goes on :) I would do anything to take away my dad's cancer, but I will ALWAYS treasure the time and stories shared during the experience. You guys will get through this. Let us know how we can help!

You have already had a great deal of good advice from the members here but since you have sort of been hit over the head I thought I would add my reassurances.

First, PC is slow and so your dad (and you) has time to take a deep breath and relax for a few months. Especially he should be walking regularly and for increasing distances. This is an important part of promoting healing.

Many of us here would advise that his diet should be low in red meat and animal fat. This will not “cure” him, but it will strengthen him in resisting cancer. If nothing else, it is a way to “fight back”

Right now his first fight is incontinence – the idea that we have lost (mostly temporarily) control over some basic functions that we mastered at the age of three is hard. This is hard to talk about but your dad needs to confront it and live in hope.

The second fight is ED (if you watch the TV ads for Viagra you get the point) This board has lots of options and just because you father is “ancient” does not mean that he might not be interested.

The third fight (and notice that I made this third, not first) is against his cancer. Positive margins seem not to be that significant, but spread to the seminal vesicles does suggest that radiation treatment may be needed to finally knock the cancer out. Yes, for the majority, surgery is all that is needed, but even now, his odds of beating the cancer are very good.

So, go on with your studies, plan your wedding, and live your life even as you encourage your father to live his. Our victory over cancer is not that we live forever but that we live well, with hope and courage.