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Catheter Out, Update

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Prostate Cancer
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Posted 10/22/2009 1:00 AM (GMT 0)
I suppose today is the start of the long road wondering and waiting.

I think I've been very lucky so far. If getting this is lucky at all.

Wife, who is a nurse at the Uro clinic and dragged me to the screening pulled the catheter. I had a small drip when I stood up about 15 minutes later. I passed blood and clots. I only wore two pads yesterday and only changed the first one because of the blood stains and initial moistness.

Today, one pad all day. My bladder gets about half full and I go. I manage to go two hours now until I have to go. When I get out of the car and have to spread my weight I drip a bit. Or when I yell at my dogs.

Stress incontinence I guess is what it is called.

I read guys stories on here, and compare stage from my biopsy and keep on thinking Elvis has left the building and it's just a matter of time before they find him. It will be three months before my first post-op PSA. With my history of chronic prostate inflammation and the 3.5 PSA I don't believe they will find anything then. But I still think about it. With capsule and perinueral invasion I just keep thinking something got out.

I've been pretty upbeat over the whole ordeal but now feel depressed. I don't know if this is natural or it is my bi-polar acting up. I'd really thought I had that disorder beat and was enjoying life for the first time in 40 years. Then this.

Manic depression teaches the afflicted to always look over your shoulder for the next bout of misery.

So I'm not sure what is going on. I know that I feel so helpless just waiting.

OBB
Posted 10/22/2009 1:21 AM (GMT 0)
OBB, Sounds like you are one of the lucky ones with 1 pad a day. Many on the board would love to be at that stage. Congrats on the drip drip level. As for as the depression If we are true to outself we all had times of depression after surgery. I think my thoughts was more like a grief depression. Like part of me had died. Thanks goodness it was the cancer part.

Good luck on healing. Hang in there we are all here for you.

Jeff T
Cajun Country
Posted 10/22/2009 1:21 AM (GMT 0)
Buddy,
Congrats on making it this far. You're doing really well in the continence arena, as you know.
As far as the feeling of depression, it's VERY normal and I think if they will admit it, many guys on here are on antidepressants. If you've been battling bi-polar, then call your doc. This surgery is famous for getting brain chemicals out of whack. It is a huge stressor, which, as you know, brings on depression. As you know, there is no shame in it. It is chemistry. Take care of your mental health just as you have been taking care of your physical health.
Be kind to yourself. You've been through a lot.
Paul
Posted 10/22/2009 1:46 PM (GMT 0)
As you have been told, post-surgery depression is fairly normal for us. I think part is the strain of maintaining the macho image of strong and capable, combined with the stress relief that all we have been secretly dreading has passed and the big part of the ordeal (surgery) is over. Another part of it is you probably still have some dregs of drugs leftover from surgery floating around. A third, is the removal of those glands and tissues will alter you chemical balance for a little while and a little bit. The body wil adjust, but it may take a little while.

We men tend to organize our lives in steps or milestones and place a lot of emphasis on reaching them. It seems inevitable that we can feel a little let down upon reaching one, and we can sink into depression a little. I read of it over and over here, I had it after mine, and I don't think there's anything major to worry about right now. In my case, I think I was grieving the loss of what I thought was an essential part of my being and being angry that I had to suffer it's loss. I found with time, that my losses weren't as important as I first thought. You have taken a big step in your journey of recovery. Congratulations for that, and congratulate yourself too. I'd recommend walking, keeping active and engaging others. Move out, move around and find the happiness in each of your days...
Posted 10/22/2009 4:15 PM (GMT 0)

Greetings, OBB.  Glad to hear the cath is out and it seems like you are doing great in the incontinence department.  I am convinced the whole surgery thing - not just prostate cancer surgery but any type of surgery - messes up the normal balances of your body.  It takes some time to get them back to normal and if meds help then we ought to use them.  I had some down days after surgery just thinking about how things used to be and what they might or might not be in the future.  I think that is fairly normal.  Do what you need to do and take the meds that help and you will get through this. 

My wife is also a nurse.  She didn't pull my catheter out but she was in the room with me when the nurse did it.  She has been a big help - not just with the medical issues but also taking very good care of me with all the extra stimulation needed!  Many of us here are blessed beyond anything we could imagine with our supportive wives who take such good care of us.  David

Posted 10/23/2009 1:19 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you everybody.

I have stayed on my meds. After a very long time searching I found a combination that works very well. But I still think the meds can't make me happy at a sad time.

Prior to surgery I discussed with my surgeon the relationship between my manic depression and opiates. It worked for him because it reduced post-surgical constipation. Except for surgery itself, I had no opiatesAll I had was motrin.

James I think your comments are very insightful.

This all came very quickly and with my scores and the unique nature of my pre-operative biopsy, I think moving fast to have surgery was the right decision. Only now I'm back to work and everything in retrospect seems very surreal.

I appreciate your kind words and support.

OBB
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