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Incontenent WITH erections

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Posted 10/25/2009 10:23 PM (GMT 0)
Did any of you have this problem? I am five weeks post-op daVinci, and have started to regain ability to have erections. Unfortunately, that is when I become very incontenent, so forget about trying actual sex until that problem stops. Anyone know what's what with this? Thanks.

Red
Posted 10/25/2009 11:11 PM (GMT 0)
The valve that shuts off urine flow when you have an erection is in the middle of your prostate and so it is no longer there. The leakage can be from a spoonful to quite a bit more and will improve with time but it may never get to zero.

First of all remember that urine is sterile so it presents no health threat to your partner. If your erection is good enough a condom is an option. In my case, my wife just shrugged and said, "we'll put down towels."
Posted 10/26/2009 12:47 AM (GMT 0)
Using a penis ring to restrict the flow can shut off the leaking and help with the erection at the same time.. smilewinkgrin
Posted 10/26/2009 7:32 AM (GMT 0)
I know what you mean Red, but things getting better for me, so I am sure they will for you too. This is for me yet another example of all the things that the prostate does for men that that we don't realise. Yes, it is a bit of a surprise to leak when erect, but the positive aspect of having an erection surely outweighs this, so I wouldn't postpone using what you have. Obviously you need to remember to empty your bladder before sex, but you may need to pop back to the bathroom at regular intervals after that. And I find that some positions are better than others. And intercourse is not the only option. And why not try something in the shower or while having a bath. A condom can help two ways as there is also as slight effect from having the "ring" part of the condom at the base of the shaft. And remember there are also flavoured condoms. My wife has been very understanding and helpful. Alfred  
Posted 10/26/2009 12:52 PM (GMT 0)

I am two years post opt and I drip every time I have an erection and what is even worst, I ejeculate urine. If I don't empty my bladder before sex, I can ejeculate urine with such force, I can hit the ceiling.   I am basiclly dry all other times, but as soon as  I get sexually aroused, I can actually start to feel my splinkter muscle start to relax and I will start to drip uncontrolably.  No matter if I try to empty my bladder completely before sex, I will still drip during foreplay and ejeculate urine during orgasm. 

The uro said that there is nothing you can do for this and I just have to get use to it. The uro told me that urine is steril so if you get some inside your partner it won't hurt her, but try telling that to a woman.  It is so frustrating having sex now because I have to cover the bed with towels so I don't wet the sheets, and I always have to be carefull that I don't drip on my partner.  

Posted 10/26/2009 1:20 PM (GMT 0)
Remember that kegels are exactly what you need to be practicing to help with this. Keeping that muscle tight ( and that valve closed) will also help strengthen your erection. The kegels are exactly the same muscles you use to make an erect penis bounce!
Be patient. Remember, the muscle we are asking to stay closed is the muscle that nature designed to stay wide open during sex to let semen flow. We generally weren't aware of the feeling pre-op, but that very first sensation of arousal was this muscle relaxing and opening up.
Paul
Posted 10/26/2009 8:21 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks to all who have responded to this thread.

I feel kind of stupid complaining about this given all the other blessings I have received from July 8th (day one) of this nightmare. On that day I was told via phone that my biopsy showed cancer and I should come in and talk about it with the urologist. That was a shot to my gut. Then I got a sucker punch to the face because on July 10th, my former urologist laid out the options, the advantages and disadvantages of each, and finally his recommendation, which was daVinci RP. Since (at that time) we thought I was a Gleason 4+3, he laid out a very aggressive surgery plan for me. To say the least, it was devastating. After we all cried in a big group hug, I went home, and with a laser focus, started to learn about prostate cancer since I was previously a total idiot on the subject, just going through the motions of the annual PSA tests. I learned to ask for second opinions and not just trust anyone's opinion, starting with the first pathologist, or even my own urologist. I did all of that, and in every step of the way my story got better and better. I had to leave my deVinci inexperienced urologist for one who had sufficient experience and track record for me to trust. My second opinion pathologist came back better, Gleason 3+4. My new surgeon said after surgery that he spared the precious nerve bundles and given enough time, I should be back 'to normal'. Of course, his focus was on getting me to be cancer free and to be continent. It looks like he achieved those goals for me, God Bless him. Now that I have had my first few erections, I find myself complaining about urine squirting like a fire hose when I get an erection!! It really seems trivial compared to where I thought I'd be just a few months ago. However, this is really a deal breaker, I think, for having sex with my beautiful and lovely wife.

Some of you mentioned condoms and rings as solutions, both of which would be new to us. I'd have to not eat or drink for hours before sex based on the quantity of urine that squirts out. It is in no way 'a dribble', it's a squirt and a squirt and a squirt. So is this it? Is this my lot for the rest of my life? Will it get better with a million kegels? How much better? Should I walk 10 miles per day? I'll do these things if that is the answer. However, I need to hear from guys who have been in my place and now their situation has improved. Even if it takes a year or two, I can be patient. I really don't think my wife will be too thrilled to be drenched in my urine while having sex.
Posted 10/26/2009 8:34 PM (GMT 0)
I know you've heard it before and read it elsewhere but:
Each man is different so no one can guarantee you what the future holds. You are less than 2 months from your surgery, much, much too early to be trying to find out when you will stop squirting. If at the end of 6 months or even a year you still have the problem, then you have a problem. smilewinkgrin

I also had the squirting problem and can tell you that , in my case, I slowly gained control and as I and my mind relearned my new anatomy and what it could now do and not do, it slowly improved. Internally you are still swollen and your brain hasn't yet had time to figure out its new wiring. Give it some time. Just as you slowly improved in other areas, you probably will in this area. In the meantime, get some rings or similar, hold back the urine and enjoy what you have. Sorry I can't offer anything more optimistic.. shakehead
Posted 10/26/2009 11:02 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Red,
I'll trade with you . Oh wait ... I've got nothing in either department. Sigh...
Jeff

By the way, I had to work in a fairly high pressure environment for three days last week. I limited my fluids to only 500 ml per day so I could wear a diaper and pad and still hold it all in without fessing up. By the third day I had a wicked dehydration headache and was pis*ing motor oil but I made it.
Posted 10/29/2009 10:20 PM (GMT 0)
The condom option has already been mentioned.  I have both an artificial urinary sphincter and a penile implant.  I too shoot urine, but not as much.  I use a condom, even though my wife had not complained.  I just don't enjoy having urine running everywhere.  But here's something I'm not sure I've read any where:  The urine ejaculate pulsating through the urethrea actually increases my pleasure during orgasm.  I've heard guys complain they miss the pulsating semen.  It seems the urine produces a similar feeling as the former ejaculate.  It seems true with me, at least.

Gene214

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