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Posted 11/15/2009 7:54 PM (GMT 0)
I've found that I no longer have any motivation to continue my recovery regimen. The cancer, ED and all the other issues that go along with our curse seem pale and insignificant right now.

Last night, I lost my wife, best friend and the rock I leaned on all thru my trials.  She passed away unexpectedly with no warning when a blood clot from three toes she had broken 2 weeks ago stumbling on the steps broke loose and got to her heart.  I watched helplessly as life faded from her while waiting for the paramedics to arrive.  By the time she got to the hospital, she was gone.

My life has now unalterably changed and for the worse, even my cancer diagnosis did not hit me with near the force this has.  I'm truly a lost soul, as half of me has been ripped away, and the pain I now feel makes my recovery after surgery seem as nothing.

In two months, we would have been married for 30 years, and thought not a perfect one, we both worked to make it so as best we could through our love for each other.

I'm sorry if this is off the PCa topic, but you are my brothers with whom I have shared things that only my wife knew of, and I hoped for some of the solace I found with you as I went through my recovery.

Thank You all for having shared my journey,

Ralph

Posted 11/15/2009 7:58 PM (GMT 0)
Ralph, I am in shock and horror at your posting. The loss of your wife is not off topic in any sense of the word. Glad you sought us here to share this sad news.

I can not imagine what you are feeling at this moment, it scares me to think if that were to happen to me.

My heart goes out to you. I don't know what to say or do, but I care deeply about you and your tragic loss. If you need anything or if you want someone to talk to, I am available to you 24/7.

I only hope that you can see even a sliver of light through the intense darkness right now.

With much condolance,

David in SC
Posted 11/15/2009 8:26 PM (GMT 0)
Ralph, words fail me. I have tears in my eyes reading your message.
Posted 11/15/2009 8:28 PM (GMT 0)
Ralph, I am so sorry to hear your news. Such an untimely death with no warning. The shock and the pain are always very intnese. There is little any of us can say are do to make this any easier for you at this point. What does help is knowing that your friends do care and share your pain.

If you wish to talk know that I am available any time of day or night. My e-mail is active.

Your brother in PC
Jeff T
Posted 11/15/2009 9:12 PM (GMT 0)
I know ther are no words that can make sense of any of this, please know that we are all here for you in your time of need. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your family and loved ones.
Posted 11/15/2009 9:15 PM (GMT 0)
Ralph,
I cannot begin to imagine the depths of despair that must be in your heart right now. Obviously you and your wife were married at a young age so she has indeed been your lifelong partner and soulmate. Every marriage surely has its hiccups and more often than not overcoming these helps strengthen the relationship. Although it cannot in any way lessen the sense of helplessness and the terrible pain that you feel, please accept my heartfelt sympathy for your terrible loss.
Bill
Posted 11/15/2009 9:21 PM (GMT 0)
Dear Ralph,

I have not logged in to this forum for weeks but somehow felt propelled today - perhaps to find this post from you.  My heart goes out to you; I cannot even begin to imagine what a loss this is, but I hope you have family/friends who can help you through this raging grief.  Please take care of yourself.

Posted 11/15/2009 9:31 PM (GMT 0)
Ralph, I am truly sorry to hear your sad news. There is nothing we can say to make it any better. Take time out to grieve -- and take comfort from the fact that people do recover from events such as this.
Posted 11/15/2009 9:48 PM (GMT 0)
Ralph,

As all of the others have said, there are no words that can be said to lessen the pain you must feel. I know only a little of how you must feel having almost lost my wife of 27 years this pass summer.

Please know that although we have never talked before my heart goes out to you.

You and your family will be in my prayers daily from this point forward.

Sonny
Posted 11/15/2009 9:51 PM (GMT 0)
Ralph,

I do not know you in the classic sense of the word. But as a PC survivor, I know a lot about you and i also know the special closeness a man and wife develops through this ordeal.

As I read your heart wrenching story, my first instinct is to grab hold of my own rock, and hold her close.

My PC brother, we all feel your pain, I assure you.

I along with the rest would do anything I could to help. My email is also active, so if e-mailing or talking is a help to you, please take us up on our offers.

I will also pray for you and your family as well.

Goodlife
Posted 11/15/2009 9:57 PM (GMT 0)
Oh Ralph...
I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what you are going through.
Know that if you need anything, just name the place and I am confident you would have a contingent show up to support you. Our thoughts are with you.
Jeff
Posted 11/15/2009 10:15 PM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Thanks for sharing and knowing we are here for you.
Posted 11/15/2009 10:19 PM (GMT 0)
Ralph,
Type-written words are a sorry medium to express how sorry I am for what you are enduring now. Thank you for reaching out. Thoughts, prayers and hopes are with you.
Paul
Posted 11/15/2009 10:25 PM (GMT 0)

Ralph,

I am very sorry to hear about your loss.

As someone else had said, it looks like you were married young. So was I. I have been with the same good woman since 1974.

I wish you all the best and can only barely imagine your heartache.

Mike 

Posted 11/15/2009 10:35 PM (GMT 0)
Ralph,
Reading your post was like a knife piercing my heart. While I do not know you, I feel so sorry for you and I wish there was something I could say or do that would help you through this horrible life tradegy. My only suggestion is to pray. Speak to your creator from your heart and know that He is there for you now more than ever. You have been given a great deal to handle emotionally, and you are totally entitled to feel those feelings you described. We all would feel the same way. God bless you and keep you.
Posted 11/15/2009 10:41 PM (GMT 0)
Ralph

I am so sorry for your loss.  I wish you and your family peace.

Ray

Posted 11/15/2009 10:52 PM (GMT 0)
Ralph,
I am heart broken as I read your post. I can not imagine the sorrow you must feel as I have been with my wife for 34 years. I will be thinking of you and your family in the days ahead. May God bless and keep you.

David
Posted 11/15/2009 10:58 PM (GMT 0)
Gunner59, My prayers are with you and your family.
Posted 11/15/2009 11:02 PM (GMT 0)
Dear Ralph,

I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words that come to mind to comfort you from the pain at this time. Know that we are thinking of you and walk beside you in your grief.

Bill
Posted 11/15/2009 11:19 PM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry for loss, the same thing almost happened to my wife 2 weeks ago. She was in a psych hospital for severe depression, nobody got her up and walked her. She got real short of breath and her oxygen saturated plummeted so they sent her to a ER. The scan showed blood clots all over her lungs. It was touch and go for 5 days. I cried most of the time, we too have been married almost 30 years. Please hang in there, the people on this forum on the most wonderful caring people I've ever known. I do know how you are feeling, I still cry at times when I think about what happened. I will pray to god for you and hope that you have family to see you through this time................
Posted 11/15/2009 11:33 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for your words, you have no idea how much they mean to me. I'll admit I'm rather lost right now, just came back from the funeral home making arrangements. I've never had to do that before and the costs left me shellshocked. Thank God we had life insurance policies. Still no amount of money will bring my love back to me, if it would I'd storm the gates of Fort Knox.

Sleep will not come easy this night, or for many nights to come, but the next few days will be very trying, so I must try to get some rest. So mant things to do.

Again, thanks to all of you for your words and e-mails

Peace,

Ralph
Posted 11/15/2009 11:35 PM (GMT 0)
Ralph,
I'm so sorry about the death of your wife. I know how it feels. I lost my wife at the age of 28 to Luekemia. SHe left me with 2 little boys. Foe a long time I hated everything but knew that I had to keep going and raise my 2 boys. You may feel like giving up but please don't. Time is a healer. Keep moving forward, God will heal your wounds. You must continue to fight your cancer and I'm sure your wife would want you to do that. If you fell like talking or emailing me please do.
Posted 11/15/2009 11:39 PM (GMT 0)
Dear Ralph,

I have been write and delete my reply to you simply just no words can express what I want to say. I am truly sorry for that happen to you. Please hanging there and come here to talk to all the wonderful people here. they are the greatest support that I can find anywhere.

Jennifer
Posted 11/15/2009 11:51 PM (GMT 0)
Ralph,
I just quit feeling sorry for myself. May some peace come your way, Wes
Posted 11/16/2009 12:32 AM (GMT 0)
Ralph,

There is nothing we could possibly do to prepare ourself for such a sudden loss. My heart goes out to you as you deal with her loss, and yes the cancer pales compared to this.

Michael

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