Cath Out and Path looks good

My husband had the cath out today - didn't care for the experience much though.  I think his anxiety made it worse than it was.

The pathology report was good.  The tumor was confined to the prostate (10%) and the gc remained at 3+3.  The lymph nodes and tissues were all negative.  He was so relieved he had tears of joy. 

Now, for the incontinence.   So far, he has not felt the "urge" to pee.  Basically, he's just leaking.  He wants to know (asked me to find out from you guys) when does that urge come back?  He's panicked.  The PA said it may take up to 2 wks, and everyone is different.  I know this is a constant topic; I've read about the control issue, but what about the feeling of having to go?

Also, what is the purpose of drinking lots of fluids at this point?

I have told him this is day one, be patient, but he's quite grumpy. 

Any advice?

Hi Bedelia & Hubby,

Sorry to hear that hubby is so grumpy. He should be jumping up and down for joy having received such a great pathology report. Unfortunately, we are all a little different in the getting dry department. I have read on this site about a couple of lucky guys that were dry from the get go. Most of us however, will go for several weeks or even month before abandoning the pads. So patience is an absolute MUST with this disease. The urge to go will return once he health a bit and starts to get a little drier.
Enjoy your early Christmas present and the holiday season.

Magaboo

Bedelia, congratulations on a very good path report! As to the reason for drinking lots of fluids...your husband needs to flush out his urinary systems. There will likely still be little bits and pieces coming out. This will keep his system working and prevent blockage and infection. I understand his grumpiness as my husband was that way shortly after the surgery. In our case, John just wanted things to go back to the way they were before the surgery. I think that in his mind he felt that once the catheter was out, the recovery was over. Kind of like the old Archie Bunker response to Edith's menopause - "if you're going to change, then change already." Like all things worth having, continence takes time and patience.

Congratulations again to you and your husband - the path report is something to celebrate.

He should be doing his exercises ( lightly) at this time. Whenever he goes to urinate he should practice stopping the stream, then restarting ( this will be tough at first)

Walking is a great exercise, start slowly, 10 minutes, then gradually get up to 20, 30, etc

Each week will be better than the past, till he gets down to a few drips when bending, lifting, laughing

He will get there, good luck, its great that you are assisting, he is a lucky guy

Even when things start to work more normally it'll seem like taking two steps forward then one step back. In my case, first I was dry at night. However, the door to the bathroom better be open and not too steps away because once I was up, oh boy. Still two steps forward. Then I'd leak a bit while taking a shower. The warm water couldn't be resisted. One step back. Next I'd be just fine up but sitting around the house. Again forward. The walk to the bathroom was a challenge and not always successful. Not as forward as I'd thought. Last was control while walking around. It was almost as if my legs acted likes pumps making sure my bladder was empty. It was weeks before I could finish a walk around the neighborhood with anything left in my bladder. There was no defining moment when that wasn't a problem any longer. Even after I thought the pads were staying dry and stopped wearing them I added an extra pair of under shorts to take care of little leaks. A good stretch still can bring a surprise now.
Of course your husbands mileage will vary.

Bedelia, Like your husband, I didn't have any urge to pee. I was using about 7 or 8 pads a day and never had much in my bladder. I believe I started to feel the urge when my pad usage dropped down below 3 or 4 a day. Please keep encouraging your husband. Most of my friends that had surgery were continent by 3 months. Jeff (worried guy) had good advice about the toilet seat. Just bending over to raise the seat pretty much eliminated any need to use it. The thing that helped me the most was learning to squeeze my pelvic floor muscles before I did anything; before bending, before standing up, before getting out of the car or before moving anything. You have a good start - stay optimistic.

Carlos

Lots of good advice here.  Your husband's patience is being and will be tested.  He is lucky to have you rooting in his corner for him.  Have a nice Christmas!!

Skeener

 

Walk, walk, then walk some more.  That did more for me than anything.  I quickly got up to 4 miles a day 2 in the morning 2 in the afternoon. Really helped more than anything.  I did do the start and stop when I got to the point that I acutally had a stream. Never actually got anything from the Kegel so I stop that.   I'm currently working 10 hr's a day with no pads. Walking is my advice.  At least it worked for me.

jnm

Thanks for the words of encouragement.  I know things will get better, just have to be patient.  He doesn't leak overnight which is good.

It's in the 20's but he has been getting out for walks.  Now we just have to find the right pad/brief.  We have 3 different types and none is as absorbent as they claim. 

I believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel - it's just a little blurry right now.

The pathology report must have been welcome, especially with Xmas here.


Fluid intake is about several things.

The bladder needs to be encouraged to try and fill up, the urge to pee follows on from the bladder itself detecting that it is full.

The body needs to get rid of stuff left by the op and that means more than just blood clots etc that might be in the area near the operation site, it also means all the drugs etc injected or swallowed.

I was told it could take up to 4 weeks for my liver and kidneys to finish processing the anaesthetic. (The processing of the chemicals or the mixture of blood & urine may make the pee smelly, so drinking also helps dilute it.)



I also found it impossible to detect any change from one day to the next as the improvements come in such small steps, but after a week and especially after the first month the improvement was indeed obvious. And don't be worried by the odd step backwards. (Especially if say you get a cold that makes you cough and sneeze) I'm just coming up to five months post op and having been pad free since September I had a very leaky day yesterday for no apparent reason. And Kegel exercises are here to stay, it's not just an exercise to be done at the beginning.



If the walk from the bedroom to bathroom is too far at this stage consider having a wide-necked bottle by the bed.



Wear clothing where the zipper etc is easy to open very quickly.



If sitting tense the muscles before you stand up, in fact you'll find you need to tense the muscles before doing all manner of things. Over time you'll find yourself doing it automatically.



I loved Jeff's comment about "lift the seat" , but he might find it easier to sit to pee sometimes, especially when there are problems with the stream or the aim. (I sometimes produce two streams at rightangles at the same time now and if one goes the right way the other is sure to go the wrong way, and very often even when you think everything is going the right way you are actually dribbling on your shoes without realising it. A tiled bathroom floor is very useful and I have a little spray nearby containing dilute Dettol to make it easy to keep things clean.)



Must get to the stores now.

Happy holidays

Alfred