Mike,
Welcome. All the above comments are correct, continence takes time, and is not the least bit predictable.
Not considering actual training-type exercise, get plenty of walking in if you can (not to mean it has to be brisk or sweat-drenched, just move as often as you can). That seemed to help me. I started with some Kegels, then a quarter mile walk, pee, do the same thing again in an hour or two. Repeat during the day as your body and the weather permit.
I'm one of those who takes longer with the pads (still a few after 6 months), so I have tried a lot of them.
The pads you probably need right now are the higher absorbency at lowest retail cost - Walgreens Men's Guards, Walgreens Certainty Pads/heavy or ultimate - in the pink packages (both on sale often), or the Tena Heavy pads (expensive side, but wider than the normal female pads). Look for heavy or ultimate absorbency.
I tried some other women's pads, but they are too narrow.
Other Men's Guards (Depends / Tena) are probably too light right now, but you will get there.
Get online and look at the Depends and Tena websites. They will send samples so you can compare, and at least last fall, included coupons. There are also coupons (usually $1 off) printable from their websites.
None are really "soft" - the guards will all have a bit of elastic around the lower edges that will irritate the dickens out of you if it gets crossed up. The unisex pads (Tens, Walgreens, do not have that.
Since I'm one of the 2% club (your doc said 98% do great -), I may be able to offer more help. I would prefer that you go dry up!