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Why do some people have a huge number of posts?

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Posted 6/9/2011 5:22 AM (GMT 0)
Another thread ended locked in some ugly comments that belittled a member for his number of posts.

Without names, that member generated a lot of those posts helping guys like me through things like RT. Members like him were there every day for me, not telling me what I had done wrong or right, but just getting me to the next day. A lot of you guys did the same. You know who you are, and I appreciate your support.

A very few other posters had nothing to say beyond their low opinion of the quality of my treatment choice.

I could say something more, but ...

Posted 6/9/2011 10:04 AM (GMT 0)
Posting on forums has been a hobby of mine for going on 15 years. I currently post on 16 sites. (i'm on the site staff on 14 of the sites)

I'd like to say I've seen  it all smhair

Considering what brought us all to HealingWell, one would think this would be the easiest site to manage.. Factor in the average of the members and it should be get better/easier.

But gosh darn it - the HUMAN factor keeps kicking in.

Posted 6/9/2011 12:11 PM (GMT 0)
Steve- now wonder you are a great moderator, you said gosh darn and didn't touch the F bomb and other 4-5 letter words and other superlatives. The human factor is as complex as PCa....just look at what Sigmund Freud taught us? Just listen to Toby Keith's words in the song " love this bar"....even the bar has all these types showing up at the same location and have something in common (lol). Now as a mole you could be like the fly on the wall at the bar (lol).
Posted 6/9/2011 12:15 PM (GMT 0)
mole-etc. If, as I suspect you are a current member and using this name for fun, I'd ask that you don't dispense any info, advice, etc. under it, first because you would be a new poster, and second because there is a rule about having multiple user names. I understand that this is satire, but if it wanders off satire, like it has here in serious conversation, then the use of the would be inappropriate. Even as is, the last name in it does introduce politics into it, so it probably would be best to alter the last to something less accurate or recognizable, if not throwing it out completely. If you are not a current poster, then how about introducing yourself and tell us about your journey, as well as looking to see if you can find a more appropriate last name for the user name,

Email me if you wish to discuss this further
Posted 6/9/2011 4:13 PM (GMT 0)
some people have a lot to say, others dont. for some, typing and writing is a chore and they would rather be on the phone. i am a writer, some writers are into short stories or magazine articles, i only write novels. writing for me, is the best way to express myself.

i have been here nearly 3 years, and i dont care about the quantity part, dont know why it bothers some, unless it some kind of misguided jealousy. if that is the case, its a silly reason in my opinion. i am not much of a phone person, ask anyone here that has reached me, or tried to reach me by phone, lol. not my best format.

i have had a very twisted journey, with a lot of terrible side effects and difficulties, so that adds up to a lot of posts, and i make sure i have contact with every single newcomer, which is what i feel we should do.

i don't like to get into the real technical part of our cancer, that is what our doctors and experts are for. but what i do understand, is the fear factor, the pain factor, the anxiety, the worry, the insecurities of our disease, so that is what i focus on.

people are free here to post often or seldom. that is their choice, and their style.

for good or for bad, i am just being the real me. for those of you that have met me in person, or on the phone, you already know i am the same in person as i am here. not into acting or anything.

live and let live is a good motto

david in scc
Posted 6/9/2011 6:17 PM (GMT 0)
142 said... Why do some people have a huge number of posts?   I think that there are two answers to your question: 1)     Unusually high amounts of blather; seemingly oblivious blather 2)     Incredibly high rates of deleted posts, especially after being chastised by moderators for flaming others, or after being so heavily edited by moderators (for various reasons) that the remaining text made no sense Live and let live, but there’s your answer…
Posted 6/9/2011 6:23 PM (GMT 0)
Casey,

My question wasn't looking for an answer, just an observation.

I disagree with your "reasons" in the context of the people and thread in question.

So this one will turn into the same mess as the others, eh?

Might as well lock it now -

 

Posted 6/9/2011 6:37 PM (GMT 0)
Oops, sorry, I thought you had a question.
Posted 6/9/2011 6:43 PM (GMT 0)
Well, I know my posts increase a bit when things aren't going so well.

When things go really well, then one isn't being distracted by this beast.

Many have posted here, fully recovered, and moved on.

I would bet that the top 75% of posters (in terms of numbers) represent the bottom 50% of outcomes.

Just my guess.

It is a good question

Mel

Posted 6/9/2011 7:04 PM (GMT 0)
142, your intentions might have been good for this thread, but afraid it will turn into another mess, it was almost asking for it.
Posted 6/9/2011 7:45 PM (GMT 0)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4p8qxGbpOk

 

Posted 6/9/2011 7:47 PM (GMT 0)

To be completely honest I would venture a guess that I am at least equal to the most frequent visitor of this page.  I choose not to post that often for a number of reasons. First I’m not the most knowledgeable person.  Second, for me it is better to hear than be heard.  Next, I must admit that in past I got caught up in the debate mode but quickly realized that it was not helping me or any other person. Lastly, I am seriously seeking knowledge; as an example I have spent lots of time searching and reading the studies posted by Ralf to structure my own opinions and increase my knowledge base.  I do find it upsetting that a small number of men in this community feel the need to habitually highjack post that are very meaningful to the rest of us by making incendiary, or off topic remarks.  (As an example see what happened to the Ralf post)

If I were king of HealingWell, I would suspend any person that went back and remove more than one post. I have identified a few people that say outrageous stuff and then quickly remove the post in its entirety.  If you have ever removed an entire post because you later become aware of the inappropriateness of the comments contained in the post, perhaps you should evaluate why you participate here.  Admittedly I’ve blocked most of these participants...I wish them the best in the war against prostate cancer I just don’t need the nuisance.

 

Hero

Posted 6/9/2011 7:49 PM (GMT 0)
I'm still pretty new here but expect to be around a while. New to PCa and new to finding this kind of support on the internet. This forum has been so helpful but it's only because of the guys on here who chimed in and offered their advice and support when I really needed it. You guys really helped me a lot! Now I would like to be able to return the favor for some of the newbies coming in. I know I don't have near the knowledge or experience many here have and know when to be quiet, but if I think sharing my experience will help someone I will try. I hate to see infighting here. My mother taught me if I didn't have anything nice to say not to say anything at all. Can't we all just get along?
-Bob R.
Posted 6/9/2011 7:55 PM (GMT 0)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgUOK49Z9HQ

 

Posted 6/9/2011 8:01 PM (GMT 0)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L33DMVWfS8g
Posted 6/9/2011 8:09 PM (GMT 0)
Just a note. If you see a post up and then disappear without note or notice, it,s probably me deleting without comment, as most of the guys who I deleted posts know that I will and seldom mention it. S loso fomdiisappearing post are me or another modncleaning up
Posted 6/9/2011 8:37 PM (GMT 0)

Ok, So if the Mod's have have had to remove more than one of your post...

Posted 6/9/2011 11:51 PM (GMT 0)

James C. said...
Just a note. If you see a post up and then disappear without note or notice, it,s probably me deleting without comment, as most of the guys who I deleted posts know that I will and seldom mention it. S loso fomdiisappearing post are me or another modncleaning up

Having served as moderator on several other fora over the years I personally find it inexcusable to delete someone's comment without some explanation, or notice, to either the membership or the individual.

Just my two cents worth.

Sancarlos
Posted 6/10/2011 12:03 AM (GMT 0)
Yep, the offending poster should be at least be informed via pm/email.

Personally I don't post up all that much or for that matter even check in anymore due to the personalities before principals attitude that pops up so often.
Posted 6/10/2011 12:04 AM (GMT 0)
The offenders have been edited so many times, and have had a bunch of discussions concerning it, they know what is coming and aren,t surprised. I know that someone will say that if they need that much editing then they need to be banned, but it,s usually minor cases of them having a bad day. We strive to offer as much acceptance here as we can, so tend to be as lenient as possible, it,s peters ultimate decision as to getting banned, and not a decision that is taken lightly. S it's like the old movie.....round up the usual suspects.

If a post is deleted it drops the post count of the member by one.

It,s easy for us to sit back and say this one should be banned or that one should be, but we don,t always have the whole story, and they may be acting up because of unknown pressures. To ban people when they are at their worse is really not what this forum is about. We want to support and help foremost, right?
Posted 6/10/2011 12:14 AM (GMT 0)
Followup

That,s not to say that people don,t get banned, there,s Ben several but usually for grievous things, or for long running smaller problems that they refuse to correct or adapt to. It,s tough decision and not made lightly. I know ti sounds like we excuse too much and punish too little, but we,re not like a lot of other forums, we try to help people as we can, even when they are at their worse.

Oh, lots of times the poster shows no email or other way of contacting them, other than calling them out on the forum and request they email or we tell them what we did, in front of everyone, which isn,t always a good way to address the issue
Posted 6/10/2011 2:00 AM (GMT 0)
James said,

"It,s easy for us to sit back and say this one should be banned or that one should be, but we don,t always have the whole story, and they may be acting up because of unknown pressures. To ban people when they are at their worse is really not what this forum is about. We want to support and help foremost, right?"

And I'd like to applaud him, and Peter, and the other mods here for this approach.

We all came here because we needed support, perhaps information, or simply a cyber hug. For some the support is sufficient. Others keep hurting. I believe you can graph a straight line where "X" in the upper right hand corner is the coordinate of those of us who have high needs, and can be edgy and insensitive in our posts. Lord knows I'm not cool and sympathetic to others when stressed.

I'm not saying all who are insenstive are needy, or all of us in need are insenstive, but I am saying when I am behaving in a less than charitable fashion chances are it's the result of other issues in my life and not what has set me off. And I'm saying this is true for others here as well.

Banning a member might make things more pleasant for the rest of us, but cutting that member off isn't serving him well.

As James so wonderfully said, "We want to support and help foremost, right?"

Absolutely, James, absolutely.

Sheldon AKA Sleepless
Posted 6/10/2011 2:03 AM (GMT 0)
James, your last two posts were good balanced answers.
Posted 6/10/2011 12:42 PM (GMT 0)
This is an interesting post.  On a personal side, I chose surgery and a few years earlier my brother went to Seattle for seeds.  When I chose surgery, instead of respecting my decision, he told me I was making a big mistake.  Even at 10:00 pm the night before the surgery, he called urging me to cancel the appt with the surgeon the next morning.  I didn't and so far so good.  After relaying this message to my surgeon, he warned me that some people will try to convince you to go the route they chose because psychologically it it makes them feel they made the right decision.  Not sure if that is true or not, but I experienced first hand from a family member.   We all need to remember that we are here to support each other and provide information.   As for me, I find this site great and the support and information far outways any negatives.  I am soaking up data every day.  I do not post every day but do come here at least once a day to check things out.  Enough rambling but we need to remember we all need support.  My mental state was horribe when I was diagnosed (scared and stressed to the max) and this site provided me with a lot of support.
Posted 6/10/2011 1:33 PM (GMT 0)
A couple of points:

Yes it's a shame if a person gets banned and thus can't take part in useful exchanges of information and experiences, but they can still carry on lurking (I think that's the right word) ie they just visit as a guest and can read but not parcipitate.

Some posters post a lot as there is a social element to their presence here, thus some of their posts may me mildly off topic. There is nothing wrong with this element of the Forum IMO as it is all part of how we look after our minds as well as our bodies by linking up with people in a similar situation.

People usually come here for the first time as they have questions, and those with knowledge add to the number of posts they have made by replying. But Q&A is almost the basic function of the Forum. I now find myself answering the questions posed by others. But I know my knowledge is limited, especially of the system in the USA and US Health Insurance arrangements. If I see that a question has been anwered I don;t feel the need to provuide the same answer myself, but I think there can be times when the posting of many similar answers can be reassuring to a newbie with worries. (When I for example asked a question about having problems with BMs after SRT if was reassuring that so many people responded with very similar replies saying that they had also had experiences similar to mine)

Some people post a lot as they post regular accounts of their "journeys". Sometimes this has raised comment, and there have even been accusations that some guys do this for selfish reasons, however if you have followed the forum for long enough you will realise that these updates are nearly always in response to others wanting to find out the latest news about someone that they knew had a problem.

David is also right about the simple matter of how you prefer to communicate. I post quite a lot on the forum as typing is no big deal for me. I could chat on the phone, but who with? I am do not have a close friendship with anyone with PCa, apart from A Dutch person, and frankly this is an issue I prefer to be able to talk about in my native language. There is a limit to who I am prepared to talk to about my situation, and an even bigger limit regarding the topics. The Forum allows a certain level of anonymity that means that you can mention private matters with more ease than in a face to face conversation with anyone other than your uro. There is, after all, almost nobody many of of us can talk to about our penises or dry orgasms, or wet underwear etc, let alone about the "technical" side of PCa. For people with cancer talking about cancer can be very difficult period! The forum serves a great function in breaking down taboos and barriers.

So I think the big posters are okay, but I would recommend that all of us take a break from the Forum at regular intervals to avoid overloading our heads with too much PCa stuff.

Alf
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