PC Forum What it was and is now...IMO

Just my take... take it for what it is worth....

This forum is turning into something different then when I orginally signed on and posted with and enjoyed to come and read everyday....

For ex....I post a article about some good research news which I would think people would enjoy to read.....The message thread turns into a a thread of debate of heredity compared to lifestyle changes. People preaching and dismissing that the majority of cases are lifestyle......like the Red Large Font...wasnt sure if this was a Prostate Cancer Forum or a Sports forum of whose team is better....

Has this message board turned into a place to debate whatever anyone posts, the forum I remember was a place for surivirors and their families to come share information with heathy converstaion not posters going at each other.... I really think the moderators of this board need to look at who is posting and what the forum has become....

i just read the post you are referencing and i don't have any problem with it.  the bold red part would offend me, maybe, if i smoked, didn't exercise  or didn't make a conscious effort to watch what i eat. 

what i don't like to see is forum members cosigning questionable decisions.  i think there is a difference between showing support and sending a bad message.  but thats a minor thing in the scheme of things.  i know i can come here at any time and get support or information that i need so i won't look a gift horse in the mouth.

ed

So what you all may be percieving as bad is simply change of perspective over time.

or maybe your emotions are running a little close to the surface today .

ed

In the year and a half I've been part of the HW community, I'll admit I've posted a few comments that, if I could have it to do over, I would not have posted; and I've also been on the receiving end of a few that I thought were unfair, including the very first night I came onboard and introduced myself. But, all in all, it has been a wonderful place to visit and interact with others who are dealing with terrible disease, each in their individual way with their unique challenges.

As for the big red type in the post mentioned here, I had no problem with that. It was introduced as something that might be posted on refrigerators or other prominent locations, and an appropriate font was utilizeds to show how that might look.

As has been mentioned many times in these threads, we have folks here who are various states of emotional turmoil and we really need to cut each other a lot of slack.

that was a good and balanced reflection on the subject, bronson. well thought out.

I have been here for a few years. Perhaps the forum has changed a bit, but I think for the better.

I see no diminution is helpful advice. If I ask a question I will get answers.

There are a lot of issues with only probabilistic answers. There are many topics that end up in interesting discussions.

Additionally, as someone else said, with this disease there can be very difficult, intense, trying times. It's no fun having to make critical decisions. It is no fun awaiting an upcoming PSA tests and seating out the results. It is no fun being on HT and suffering all kinds of SE. It's no fun dealing with bone and other pain related to the PC or the treatments. It is just no fun dealing with this disease. Some handle it better than others and all of us have good and not so good days.

In short, we have to give people quite a bit of slack.

This is a wonderful group -- I appreciate the support and information I've received. Additionally, I've expressed personal thoughts/feelings/fears that I have expressed nowhere else.

Mel

Jazzman:

Politics and religion discussions would absolutely DESTROY this forum.

I've seen that happen very quickly on other forums (unmoderated or poorly moderated).

Our moderators do a good job.

I think it is important to allow discussions and disagreements. Those are healthy. If we didn't allow that here, the utility of this forum would be greatly lessened.

Mel

English Roger -- log off for a year and come back.  i'll bet then you'll see a huge difference.  i think a person should stay here as long as he needs to.  not a day longer !

ed

 

F8

I totally agree no argument from me regarding that but do you think some members

use this Forum more as a social site other than a support group asking & sharing information

& concerns.

Rodger.

It seems like this particular topic is raising its head a little more often lately.

Discussion, presentation and discourse and are all good and thought provoking, I have learned many things here and continue to learn.

BUT THIS IS NOT A DEBATE SOCIETY. You don’t win or lose points if your idea or information is accepted or rejected.

There is not doubt that the tone and tenor of this site has changed since I first found it in September 2009.

Someone pointed out that the population of the site changes and with that comes change. I am not too sure about that. I don’t see the new folks entering into the disagreements with dogmatic zeal. More often it is some of the senior members that seem to have changed the way they respond, taken others to task, present their thoughts and beliefs and so on. And maybe sometimes they use their longevity here for their own devices.

There are a few certainties about the members here;

1-We all came here looking for answers.

2-Many of us remain still looking for answers. And many of us remain in the hope that we can be as helpful to those that have followed us.

3-THERE IS NOT ONE TRUE EXPERT IN THE FIELD OF PROSTATE CANCER AMONG US.

4-We have many experienced individuals. We have members that put in a lot of time and effort to research the latest on PCa. We have some involved in PCa groups on a national level. We may even have a few doctors among us. BUT NOBODY HERE HAS ALL THE ANSWERS TO THIS CRAP. What we have is something that we as individuals feels right for us, works for us, brings us comfort and gives us hope. However it is not right for everyone. Far too many times lately members are being questioned for their beliefs, ideas, and decisions and so on. And they are being rudely taken to task for them.

When in doubt, refer to item number 3.

5-WE ALL HAVE PROSTATE CANCER. It doesn’t matter how long we have been members of the Zero Club or if we never got there in the first place.

6-WE ALL HAVE PROSTATE CANCER AND WILL TILL WE DIE. It may never rear its ugly head enough to cause us harm, it may not be the cause of our demise, but there is not a man among us who absolutely, positively thinks it has been eradicated, completely, thoroughly and forever.

We all know what a jungle this crap is. We all know that there is no one right answer to any part of it.

There are some here whose skin has gotten a whole lot thinner and some who have developed alligator skin.

There are absolute personality conflicts here and they are readily apparent. There is baiting and trolling for conflict on a daily basis. And there are many that jump to take the bait. Maybe some of you can quit casting the hook out there and maybe some of you can refrain from rising to the baited hook.

Because what does it serve except to muddy the waters, to dilute the information or to push folks to ignore some posters completely.

I have met many of you face to face and I can say without question that personal contact flavors the way we talk to one another. I have seen times when there may have been disagreements between members who have met, but I have never once seen them become uncivil with each other.

There is not doubt as was previously suggested, that many times posters responses are flavored by what is going on in their lives at any given point in time. It is hard not to let that influence our words. But that is something we all should remain aware of and try to control. Many times I have stepped back away from the keyboard because I knew that I was not in the right frame of mind to post or respond.

This in fact may be one of those times now. I could say I have an excuse for being kind of upset with the way things are occurring in my life, but that would be cop-out. There is not an excuse.

I am posting this today because I love this place. I have made friends here that I will have for life. This place has given me comfort and support when I needed it most. It has given me far more information than I would have found on my own. And I would like to think that I have brought something of value to HW as well.

I remember trying to express this a while back; There is just no place here for faceless rudeness and crass behavior.

We are a brotherhood of sufferers; we are all in the same battle AND WE ARE NOT THE ENEMY.

Of course this is just my opinion and for what its worth,

Sonny

Your's is a good opinion Sonny, I don't see how any rational person could disagree with any of your points. The true enemy is PC, not each other. If anything, this common enemy should promote empathy, sympathy, care, and compassion, because there is a whole lot of fear, worry, anquish, pain and suffering associated with any cancer journey. And you are right, there is no real excuse, for crass or insensitive behaviour here among the brethern (and sisters).

You gave a lot to think about on this thread.

BTW, trust me, I have known you from day one here at HW, and you have always given a lot here, and speaking only for me, I appreciate your contributions to the HW PC community.

Give my best to Lynn, a day doesn't go by, where she is not thought about about here in SC.

David

Wow Sonny, You are a man of great wisdom! Thanks for the post.

I like you have made many life long friends here on HW. My life is so much more rewarded for the acquaintances that I have made in the past 3 years.

Thanks guys.

Cajun jeff

Oh, and I meant to add that I have spoken with some of you on the telephone and I've exchanged private emails with some of you. Once again, those have always been very pleasant.

Heck, we certainly do have a common goal.

Mel