How to support my wife?

The question on my mind tonight is what do you do to support your wife during treatment?

My wife is great and has been doing double duty taking care of me and being apart of this treatment process. She and I made the treatment choice together - we're a team. I knew going in to the ERBT that she'd end up taking a lot of the load around the house. The other day I came home remembering that the trash needed to go out and what was on the curb - yup the trash cans. It's not like I've had surgery - I got no weight limits. I am just tired and grumpy and spend a lot of time walking to and from the bathroom.

I do try and tell her that I can do somethings and we have plenty of family and friends that will help if we ask. Guess I get afraid she'll over do and get sick or something. and I feel bad that I can't do more.

anyway before I start rambling - what are your thoughts?

InTheShop

My primary must do list developed and somewhat perfected over close to 38 years of marriage, though I'm still learning. (Calgon bath with candles - Thanks Aimzee! I'll have to look into that one, is that a wife only or a couple activity?)

My list!

1. Flirting - Yes that is a good thing. It has been scientifically proven after dozens of rigid studies 8 times a day is the daily minimum requirement. However science has been unable to determine the specific times of day - though through diligent study the flirting must be spread out over the day. (ok I made up the scientifically proven part)

2. Flowers! - Yes! Frequently! When you go to the grocery store to get whatever pick up a nice assortment of flowers, bring then home and present to your lady - and flirt.

3. Tell her she has a nice a*s - Not really sure why this line works so well especially as I use it at least once a day . When I tell her, my lady still manages a blush and a "Ohhh Husband" as she struts about with a big smile on her face and a sparkle in her eyes. (see how this works into the daily minimum requirement of flirting?)

4. When you go out anyplace - Hold her hand. ( again works into the daily minimum requirement of flirting)

5. Last thing before you two go to sleep - tell her that you love her , hug and kiss her. (yup works into the daily minimum requirement of flirting)

6. First thing in the morning when you are both awake - tell her that you love her, hug and kiss her. (yes - flirting - notice a trend here?)

7. Before you leave the house for anything - Give her a kiss and a hug and tell her you love her (ayup - flirting! we are on a roll!)

8. First thing when you return to the house - think about it - Right! Give her a kiss and a hug and tell her you love her (more flirting!)

Go for it brother! Bring a smile to your wife's face and a sparkle to her eyes.

Bud

PS: Oh and the all important do or die - Toilet seat UP first. DOWN when done. Violation of this negates all the day(s) flirting.

Speaking personally, if someone had told me that swinging naked from the nearest lamppost would help with Jeff’s healing process I would have done it in a heartbeat! Allow your wife to continue doing (within reason of course) what she most likely feels is her part of the teamwork in getting through this treatment together.
Remind her often how much she and everything she is doing means to you and don’t forget her journey, although different to yours, is no less painful. A hug works every time!
Raddad, I’ve printed off your list, thought I’d put it in the anonymous Valentine’s Card Jeff will receive next week LOL.
Sending all good wishes for a very successful treatment and speedy recovery from ‘over the pond’
Susan
x

What are my thoughts? My thoughts are that I wish my husband would be half as considerate about me overdoing stuff! ;) Don't get me wrong, I adore my husband and would do anything to support him. But he doesn't worry about me doing too much ever. When he first started treatment a few years ago I took over the few chores he was doing and have been doing them ever since. I guess it would be nice if he showed more appreciation but I spoil him and I don't mind because I really just want to remove as much stress as possible from his life. Like you guys we are in this together ... forever. I know he loves me. So from my perspective it just seems sweet that you're worried about it. Maybe it's making her feel good to do something to help. Tell her you love her and appreciate her. My guess is that will mean more than taking out the trash ... at least for now. ;)

That's a GREAT start, Andrew!  My husband is taking me to an Elvis Tribute concert this weekend!  He knows how much I love Elvis - even more than flowers!  Bud your list was awesome!  Susan, you made me laugh!

I hope everyone enjoys this Valentine's Day (weekend)!

Aimzee