Thanks for the Zero Club invite.

I just want to thank everyone who commented or viewed my recent post “PSA test yesterday”.  Sure the results were good and my wife and I celebrated together.  My kids all texted or called telling me that they loved me and knew it would be good news.  Most of my family live in another state and I’ve started a email progress report that I send out after my Dr’s appointment or PSA reports.  Everyone is just so happy of my progress thus for, as am I.

But, I can’t help but wonder just how long it will last. You see, I have a engineering back ground where I see only black and white and I’m detail orientated.  There are very few gray areas in my line of work.  I mostly see things as “The bridge is up or the bridge in down” there isn’t anything in between.

As I mentioned in my last post, I fairly new on this journey and I don’t know just where it’s going to take me.  But given my statistics ( 5+5=10 or 5+4=9) I don’t think it will continue to be a happy one for too much longer. I have noticed that the majority of the guys here were diagnosed with a lower Gleason count then I. That alone doesn’t give me too much hope that my outcome will be positive.  One year ago, I didn’t know (or really care) want a Gleason score or PSA was. Now I know where I stand on the Partin tables.  I know what ADT, BCR, IMRT & not to forget HRFC mean.  And frankly, these are all staring me right in the face.

That’s why I’m hesitant to be in the “Zero club”. Thanks for all the invites by the way! But frankly, once I get to the bar and get to know everyone, and start having a good time, I’ll get thrown out on my arse and be looking from the outside in again. 

I really admire all of the regulars here and the fights that they are going through.  I’m happy when they are happy, and sad when things are hard on them. I feel like I know everyone of y’all.

With the GFMPH  coming up soon I was really looking forward to meeting all the guys, and of course the wives that are our angles.  Now I’m not so sure it will be a good thing for me personally.  However, I will be there in BTR anyway for a family reunion.  So maybe I can muster enough courage to stop by on Friday before the family thing.

Please don’t think that this is a “I feel sorry for myself post” because to me it’s just a “The bridge is up, The bridge is down post” .

Bert 

Bert,

I understand your post. Been there and done that a number of times with both Lynn and my cancers. But to be honest we moved beyond that feeling a long time ago.

Join the dang Zero club, drink up, have a good time and raise hell. Sure you may be asked for the membership card back, but in the meantime you will have enjoyed life and living it to it's fullest.

Kinda like stopping in front of a diner and looking through the window at the best looking streak dinner you have ever seen. You know you can afford to go in and enjoy it today, you know you will enjoy it if you do, but you are afraid that you don't want to get used to it because you may not be able to afford it in the future.

So what have you given up because of this fear or trepidation. A great dinner and a great time.

Every one of us who drives could have been killed in a car accident thousands of times. So what would have happened if we never drove because of that fear. NOTHING, EXACTLY NOTHING and I mean that figuratively.

It is hard as hell to lay this PCa crap down for a while, I know it. But when you do it is absolutely freeing.

Live life, enjoy it to the max, there ain't much you can do about the future until it gets here anyway. At least not unless you possess powers I am not aware of.

So drag your butt on over to GFMPH even if you can only stay for an hour or two. I promise it will be the beginning of something you will never forget or regret.

Sonny

Bert, I am going to hold you to that visit buddy. I happen to know that someone at the gathering knows your relatives. Your from the same neck of the woods. :)

You know I am just kidding. The guys really want to put eyeballs on you.

As Sonny said i promise you will never forget or regret meeting all the guys.

Your Cajun Friend
Cajun jeff