What to worry about?

So, I'm something of a believer in not worrying about things you can't control. So, the question is, what can I control (and by extension, worry about)?

I'm scheduled for DaVinci surgery in April. I'm told that the nerves on the Right side will not be spared. When I asked the doctor what I should do to get ready, he said lose 10 pounds. (Learning Kegel from a PT is already scheduled).

Aside from getting more fit and learning as much as I can, what else?

Losing weight is one, and fitness is another. They can help each other, but are also two different things.

That said, in my "just another patient, not a medical professional, consult with yours if in any doubt" opinion - exercise as much as you can safely manage, (consult with your doctor if there's a reason to think you should, and don't overdo, strain yourself & stop) while watching what you eat.

Make time for it.

If your surgery is in April, and you have no major limitations that would mean you can't, get out (or on a bike or elliptical or treadmill or rowing machine - some sort of aerobic cardio) every single day between now and then for a total of at least an hour (3x20 minutes is fine if an hour at one time is hard to manage - more time is also fine for most people.) If you can also throw in some strength workout, it's supposed to help with weight loss (muscle burns calories.) It will pay back in spades.

Between researching this bleeping disease (I had surgery scheduled but was still looking into whether it was the right option for a considerable period) and doing my work, sometimes I'd come up on midnight without having made it out - and preop, I'd go out & walk fast until 1 AM or later if that was where I was at. Post-op I'm a little bit less driven - but I've also tried to make more time for it at more reasonable hours. Control what you can - improving your fitness & weight is under your control, and it has significant positive impact on your actual surgery (less blubber in the way means a happier surgeon, and you want your surgeon to be happy in his work) and recovery. If you can hold onto improved fitness, it also has significant impact on actually living long enough to get some use out of having surgery...don't be the poster-boy for "got prostate out, died of a heart attack 10 years later."

Kegeling in advance also helps.

Upstate...........

Randon & Purgatory offer you great advice. I am only 5 weeks out from my RRP Sx. My URO came into my room once I recovered to share my great Sx results, "got it all and saved the nerves". I thanked him for taking great care of me and he told me I made his job so much easier by being in such excellent shape. I have never had a weight issue but I am a regular gym guy 4 - 6 times per week with a good mix of cardio and iron work. Anyway, wanting an easy surgery and recovery I committed to toning up even more, 6' tall, 180 lbs, 33" waist, especially toned my abs and it really has helped me both physically and mentally pre and post Sx. i can't wait to get back to the gym starting next Monday to slowly get back into my program. Three weeks post catheter tomorrow and probably 80% continent. Today on the ED front, my wife and I were inquisitive whether woody could still chop wood if you know what I mean. We were both amazed an encourgaged at this early stage. As Random says, make sure you look after your heart too for all of the right reasons.

Whatelse..............."always keep a postive attitude","take it one step at a time" and "put faith in your URO and try not to worry what you cannot control'

Wishing you all the best with your journey!!

Best

TJ

Upstate Guy, I second everything that has already been said and wish you all the best for your forthcoming surgery. Keep us posted, this site is a great resource for guys like us.

Thanks to everyone for the great responses and encouragement. I'm generally fit (but a bit overweight) and when I get to the gym, I try to alternate between 45 minutes of elliptical (at a pretty good resistance level), 1 mile swim (slow ... I'm only a fair swimmer) and strength training. My most recent challenge has been getting to the gym ... at my recent physical my GP thought he saw something strange in my EKG which led to a stress test yesterday which showed nothing. But, between the time of the physical and the stress test it was no strenuous exercise. So, it's back to the gym today. (All I can say is man, they don't know stress!)

I'm cutting down on alcohol both to lose weight, and cause I've just been indulging a bit too much. Fruits and veggies are a good suggestion. I can definitely control that.

And, I like the suggestion of looking after #1 (and #2) between now and the surgery. The hard part right now is I'm only 2 weeks out from my biopsy and I remember from my first 2 biopsy's that sex wasn't so great until I was more fully recovered. We're heading out of town this weekend for some much needed decompression. So, we'll see.

Finally, Upstate refers to Upstate NY. In my case, a suburb of Rochester.

David,
Thanks, I wish good health was a detracter from getting PCa. Unfortuately as we all know PCa is not selective on who is chooses as its victims. I think for me being so healthy and in great shape it made it even harder for me to accept my cancer. You know all of the denial, anger, sadness and fear emotions that come with it. Once I got past that and accepted my PCa and adjusted my attitude to beat this disease and committed to Sx, it made the significant difference.

Upstate, again doing absolutely everything that is mentally and physically the best for you and your wife pre and post surgery that you can possible do will pay you both huge dividends in your journey. For a guy who doesn't do hospitals well at all, gee I can faint for a blood test if I don't lie down. But you know what was amazing for me was the one and two weeks before my Sx, I was calmer than I ever thought I could be and especially the morning trip to the hospital. I just knew I had done everything I could do to control what I needed to do and had faith my URO would do the same. My 2 day hospital stay far exceeded all of my preconceived expectations. So all in all, have faith you will be fine through this entire process and most important have a great weekend away with your wife. Get giddy all over again with one another as if you were in your 20's all over again.

Best
TJ

Upstate Guy,

You have gotten some great information so far from our HW members and you are about where I was this time last year. Last March I got the results of my  PSA test that showed I had gone from 3.5 to 5.5 in 2 months which triggered my biopsy in April and then RALP in early June. My GP also found a weird blip on my EKG the week before surgery.  I had a nuclear stress test that found nothing and showed my arteries to be completely free of plague and no signs of any heart disease. So the good news was I was not going to die anytime soon of heart problems which do run in my family along with PC.

The only thing I can add is make dang sure that when you return your prostate next month it is on empty. You are lucky to have found HW before surgery and can gather all of this very useful information. I found HW 3 weeks after my surgery while researching ED treatments my URO was recommending, but that is another story for later.

One other thing we have a yearly gathering of members in this forum in September not too far from you and in April in Louisiana called GFMPH so be on the look out for more information on this event this summer.

Good luck next month and relax and enjoy the next few weeks before surgery.

Terry TWG

Tenpin,
You are not alone on the regret issue, I unfortuatley did and have the same regret as you between my last Bx Dx and Sx. I wish in hindsight I didn't let that happen. I wish I had passionatley used the last of my prostate's time better than we did. Easy in hindsight though isn't it? The positve side of this is though, I now beleive we have been given a second chance, a life changer if you will and it has brought my wife and I even closer together and given us both a greater appreciation of our life together with a stronger desire to create great new memories from here.

By the way you're a recent RP Sx guy, just curious how has your recovery has been, continence and ED or lack of?

TJ

Keep the "half full glass" perspective and remember one step at a time. Your worrying about what you can't control won't change the outcome. Try to visualize a successful Sx, PR and full recovery. You can do this ShoreGuy!!!! If you are a golfer, you will be teeing it up in June.
Best
TJ

Upstate Guy said...
Thanks again for all the great advice. Just got back from the gym and a 60 minute elliptical routine instead of my usual 45. The healthy diet and plan for no regrets will be the easy part. :)

As far as getting as much info before so that I know what to expect ... I had a total knee replacement 2 years ago and before that operation watched a complete video of the procedure. Last night I did likewise with a video of the RALP.
...
It's all the stuff around the edges of the surgery that make me nervous. In particular what the pathology reports will show and post-op PSAs.

Yep, the trick I play when I'm on the elliptical (mine has multiple numbers to play with) is shoot for this number (say 200 calories) then let's see if we can round up that number (1.7 mythical distance units - let's go for 2.0) Time - let's get \et to X minutes. Hey look, nearly 300 calories let's round that up....

Fortunately, the surgery itself was: multiple complaints about how hard it is to find a vein and that I'm dehydrated (having been told not to drink anything after midnight - duh folks, just doing what you asked) followed by the IV finally going in, and waking up in the recovery room needing to pee (the accursed device makes you feel like you need to even though you are filling bags through it as it does so.) Then, being an engineer, I proceeded to drink like a fish in the interests of flushing out the system while I was sitting in a hospital - figured that the chunks would be less chunky the faster they left, and if things got clogged up, I'd prefer to be dealt with as an inpatient rather than calling in from home with a clogged up catheter (no idea if that's much of a real concern, but it was what I reasoned and drinking copiously was the way to help with it, as far as I could see.) Was running pretty clear by the next morning. Got up and walked around the halls with my collection bag in one hand and my infusion pump on a pole in the other a couple of times (initially with a nurse escort, eventually they let me makes laps on my own.)

All "the stuff around the edges" falls under - nothing you can do by worrying about it, so don't. It is what it is, and your actions at that point will depend on what it is, but until you have the results you can't do a darn thing except hope for the best. So try not to worry about it. Ignore the heck out of it. Focus on things you can affect.

Funny, but when I read "Upstate"  thought of nothing BUT New York.

Sort of like ShoreGuy, I just assumed NJ.

(right on both accounts).