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Posted 6/2/2013 9:03 PM (GMT 0)
Yeah...it's one of those posts that go against the rules...

To the guys...newly diagnosed or anticipating a diagnoses.

MAKE SURE you have the support and the ***FULL*** under-mother'effing-standing, that your wife...your partner...or your girlfriend...or whoever, knows what this disease and the treatments entail, (that's any treatment btw!) and what the future may hold for you.

I was dealt a devastating blow today, and there is no recovery from it, I am signing off.
I'm mad, I'm hurt, my cards have been played, and there is no going back.

If I had known before hand, what I know now (or lied too to be more specific), I would have NEVER partaken of this trip.

MAKE """"""""100%"""""""" 'EFFING SURE, YOU HAVE THE SUPPORT AND COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING, *NOT LIES*, TO HELP YOU THROUGH THIS DISEASE.
Posted 6/2/2013 9:10 PM (GMT 0)
i'm confused, who lied to you?
Posted 6/2/2013 9:11 PM (GMT 0)
James, do you care to elaborate about what happened or what went wrong? Or are you just wanting to vent? And that's ok too.

david
Posted 6/2/2013 9:41 PM (GMT 0)
She might leave me because I'm an *** *** but not over PCa.
Posted 6/2/2013 9:50 PM (GMT 0)
Ispark,

If you're saying what I think you're saying I know the feeling. The same thing happened to me right after my surgery and it still hurts over a year later but it does get better, the pain does subside!!

Mike
Posted 6/2/2013 10:41 PM (GMT 0)
iSpark,
You didn't break any rules--this is the place to vent! Try to keep your cool and drink a beer or 2..This "crap" can really be a life changer but for you it will get better and for some it won't!! It can kill you. A member of my support group is on the "edge"..He ran a county department until last month when he retired due to this "crap". A young man he had surgery, radiation, and then was surgically castrated against the advice of his RO; he did everything he could do to beat this disease. Yeap it happened. His wife divorsed him, he sold his Harley and home, and after receiving liquid radium for his bone mets that didn't do any good he bought a camper and is now touring the states just with his pain patches for his bone mets. I guess he went "commando"..We all like to think that things will get better but sometimes it doesn't...Sorry for this sad story.
Please "get a grip" and don't let anything ruin your life. You have many years ahead of you and you're personable and intelligent--also highly emotional..If you don't "flame out" it will get better--I guarantee it...All the best to you.
Bill
.
Posted 6/2/2013 10:53 PM (GMT 0)
Thats a rough blow, right there, I sure hope he has some folks near him to help him thru this crisis.
Posted 6/2/2013 11:13 PM (GMT 0)
ispark--- Please hang in there--- I appreciate your vent. As some guys will point out who are where you are-- it can get better---I'll pray for you--send out the vibes--and look for you out here!
Posted 6/2/2013 11:13 PM (GMT 0)
ISpark,
I know you are hurting brother. We are here for you if you want to talk about it more later.
I just looked at your web site. You are a talented photographer. Loved all your photos. Some of the lighting was very different. And the Corona bottle photos were really cool and I don't drink.
Any way, take care. My email is available if you need someone to talk to, feel free. I was born in Charleston so we have something else in common besides PCa.

Bill from Florida
Posted 6/2/2013 11:18 PM (GMT 0)
iSpark:

It hurts to read this. Your pain is raw and "out there."

I'm very sorry.

This disease sucks in so many many ways.

Mel

Posted 6/3/2013 1:03 AM (GMT 0)
James,

E-mail me if you want, let's get a line of communications open, then we can phone or Skype if you are open to it. You don't have to handle it alone.

david
Posted 6/3/2013 2:08 AM (GMT 0)
..iSpark..
..Don't let go of yourself brother you must hold on.. There are a lot of good folk here concerned about your well being, just know that fact..

..and out of the darkness there came a light.......

......Project Appleseed Nick.......
Posted 6/3/2013 2:29 AM (GMT 0)
Spark, I think we are all reading between the lines pretty well on your post. There is not much any of us can say to ease this one. But you gotta know that we are all in this together and we are all here to support you in whatever way we can. We have proven over time to be good listeners and this is a great place to vent. We of all people understand that range of variables that go along with this crappy journey.

Like the others, my email is active. You need to talk off line or just write a vent that doesn't have to be self-censored, just let it fly and send it on.

Sonny
Posted 6/3/2013 2:58 AM (GMT 0)
James ( ispark) - sent you an email - hope you read it - you are a very talented Photographer (his website link is by his name) - you had on your facebook page a great pix of a schooner - "the pessimist complains about the wind - the optimist expects it to change - the realist adjusts his sails ....

-time to adjust the sails

- also noted on your facebook, you just got membership in Zero Club on May 29 - PSA <0.10 - congrats.

-here's to riding out the rough seas and settling in to a calm port and charting a new journey and adventure.

hugs from Canada,

Bronson
Posted 6/3/2013 3:06 AM (GMT 0)
If I am reading between the lines the way I think others might be - that's horrible.

Feel for you. Wish there was more we could do.

I am thinking of you and you're on my prayer list.

Peace,
Andrew
Posted 6/3/2013 12:18 PM (GMT 0)
iSpark/James - nothing wrong with letting it all (probably not all.....) of it out here, that's one of the primary reasons for this place - support. If that's what happened then IMHO you'll get to a better place than you are now or perhaps have been. You're young, in the Zero Club, and have lots in front of you yet, so hang in there, treat this situation as you did your PCa - and keep moving forward. I'll also join in with the offer to e-mail and vent as you want......

Best to you brother......
Posted 6/3/2013 1:01 PM (GMT 0)
James,

I do not know if I can add any thing more but this is definitely where you can and need to vent. I think I am also reading between the lines and you are hurting. You have my email and phone number so call me if you need another shoulder to cry or vent on. Hang in there things have to get better.

Terry

Posted 6/3/2013 1:49 PM (GMT 0)
James, hang on man! There is no sense in saying any stupid corny phrases.
So I won't. This sucks!
But there is a good support team here if you wish to engage.
Vent if you want. There are a lot of us here to listen!
Posted 6/3/2013 8:16 PM (GMT 0)
That sucks...period. Any of us on here will do whatever we can to help if you want it...Art
Posted 6/3/2013 9:52 PM (GMT 0)
It wouldn't have changed my choices, but my wife ended not only sex, but all expressions of affection as well, on the day I was diagnosed. I just didn't know it at the time. I think she saw it as an opportunity to end something that she was working up to for the last 10 years.

I haven't made an issue of it and have treated her better than I wanted to, indeed better than when I was "normal". I suppose to avoid confrontation.

When the blow up comes, I don't expect affection to resume as I don't want it if it comes under pity or duress or duty. Life must go on to preserve harmony with my family.

I'm not particularly happy or unhappy, just in some subdued gray middle state.
Posted 6/3/2013 10:45 PM (GMT 0)
iSpark & White Bird
James--Welcome back! You had more people concerned about you than you know..Thanks for responding..Tomorrow night I'll cross over the "ol Mis" to Mn from Wi and I'll have 1 beer since I'm driving..Yeah son (my oldest is your age) and I'll be thinking about you..The old man
White Bird--You are doing fine so keep it up. It's hard to remember, but women have problems that we have no clue about. She may love you more than you realize but many times menopause really screws a woman up..I won't say anymore. Please be compassionate and understanding since most of the time we (men) have no idea what a woman is going through; some go through it fine and for some it's pure "hell"..Anyway, I wish you all the best.
Bill
Posted 6/3/2013 11:28 PM (GMT 0)
Anybody hear from James/ISpark? Is he okay?

Bill from Florida
Posted 6/3/2013 11:45 PM (GMT 0)
Gunfighter:

You said welcome back to James, but where is he?

Mel

Posted 6/3/2013 11:47 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you everyone for your thoughts and concern, it really does mean a lot!
And I'm still here. I was hurt, but that's it.
This journey is filled with ups and downs.
Posted 6/4/2013 12:01 AM (GMT 0)
Welcome back, James.

Mel

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