Hello, Iphar, and welcome to our world here at HW PC.
Sorry you need to be among us, but its a great place to be regardless.
Like you, I am a Gleason 7, and have also been married to a wonderful wife for nearly 40 years.
On the ED issue, you won't know where you stand until post surgery. Some men have it real bad, some have it for a short time, kind of bounces all over the place. Some of the factors include, where you were at sexually before surgery, your general health, whether or not you have nerve sparing op, and whether or not the surgeon has to cut "wide" in best hopes of getting all the cancer out.
To give you some encouragement, some men luck out on the ED side, I was one of them. I have had both surgery and radiation, unfortunately, for me, both curative attempts quickly failed, however, despite having a non-sparing operation, I never had any ED, either post surgery or post radiation and still don't nearly 5 years out. Rare perhaps, but it can happen. You can't know that with any certainty in advance.
And for the men that have short term or moderate length ED, many here have great results with injections, or one or more varieties of ED drugs, so there is always hope there.
For most of us surgery guys, the sequence of success is pretty much the same. We want the cancer eradicated on the first pass, we want little or no incontinence issues, and then having limited ED and/or short term ED is typically in third place. Wish I could say, that it was probable to have all 3 in your favor post surgery, it's usually not. But one thing at the time.
Depression is a common side ailment to PC, some don't be shy talking to your doctor about
that, either before or after surgery. No shame there. Sounds like you got a good relationship with your lovely wife, so somehow, the two of you need to find a way to communicate more
openly about
dealing with your cancer. Most married folks here readily agree, that your cancer is really an "us" cancer, because most every aspect of it effects the two of you. If she hasn't done so this so far, perhaps it might help if you could arrange a meeting with the two of you and your doctor at the same time, so that she can hear first hand what your situation is really like, and what the prospects both short and long term are like. Of course you understand, no doctor in the world can guarantee you any particular results in advance, if they say they can, then watch out, lol.
I hope you do well. We are here for you in whatever capacity you need. Even if you feel a need to rave a bit, go for it. We are tough and can handle it, and it comes free with your membership package here. Ask all the questions you care to, no such thing as a dumb question. Combined, our membership here has a tremendous amount of experience with almost every possible aspect of PC, it's treatments, its problems, side effects, and even difficult situations.
You never need to feel alone again dealing with it. Bring it here, we will help you all we can, and it helps knowing that so many of us have been through exactly what you are feeling.
You ended by saying "you are scared". Might sound odd, but glad you are to some degree, if you weren't scared at all, I would be more concerned. Best way to overcome some of that scared feeling, is to be as educated as you can about
your own situation, and getting well versed in what lies ahead for you. If you are a man of faith, great time to put that to good use, certainly won't hurt. And include your wife as much as you can, that's a huge help in itself. I have always kept my wife fully in the loop, as well as my adult aged children.
Please keep us well posted as you move ahead, and take some comfort, that we truly are here for you, and ready and willing to help you.
David in SC
Post Edited (Purgatory) : 9/6/2013 12:13:06 AM (GMT-6)