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New diagnosis of prostate cancer.

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Posted 9/6/2014 5:19 AM (GMT 0)
Stage T3
Age 62 - healthy and active person.
Gleason score 7
prostatectomy booked Oct 31/14
not comfortable about sx -anxiety disorder/depression- Dr said I could live 10 yrs without sx.
I have had a very happy fulfilling life and am ok with going in 10 years.
I've always said that if if I ever had to have a catheter or am incontinent - I am not accepting those indignities.
why can't I let nature take its course and avoid all this crap? I'm ok going at 72.
My loved ones are pushing me to treatment when my gut feeling says something else -
Help me .
/matt/
Posted 9/6/2014 6:32 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Matt,
Sorry you have to be here.

Do you know if your Gleason is a 3+4 or a 4+3? Also, how many cores were positive and what percentage of each core?

Your loved ones are pushing you to treatment because they love you and want you to be around forever. The side effects are yours to live with, along with your significant other. Since you appear to be set in your thoughts of a good ten years rather than the indignities you mention, perhaps all involved need to consider what kind of resentment this could have towards those who pushed you to do something you didn't want to do.

You have a good bit of time before your scheduled surgery to research and gather all of the info you can from people who have been there. Research all of your options before committing to one. You don't get a do over once you have treatment.

Surely some of the guys will be along soon to help you with your questions.

Best of wishes in whatever you decide.
Posted 9/6/2014 7:07 AM (GMT 0)
Matt-

Who told you that surgery is your only option? It's not.

I learned to channel my anxiety into an admittedly obsessive acquisition of reliable information. At least it's productive rather than ruminating on in an endless loop in one's head. You can educate yourself and your loved ones.

Here's a good place to start - click on this link:

Newly diagnosed with PC? – read this thread first

- Allen
Posted 9/6/2014 7:11 AM (GMT 0)
Matt,
I couldn't sleep this morning so I got up and checked on Healing Well and saw your post. Maybe I needed to wake up and see it.

My stats are just like you, Gleason 3+4=7, stage t3a. My doctor gave me some Xanax to deal with the anxiety when first DX.

Don't give up, you can win this battle for yourself AND your family. You are all in this together. I was diagnosed at 61 and am now over 2 years out. I had all the side effects of surgery and I am still glad I fought it.

I had a catheter for 6 days while I was healing from the surgery. It wasn't wonderful but hey, it was just 6 days of my life, easy trade off to live a little longer. And I was never able to gain complete continence but I had another surgery this year that corrected that and now I am dry.

Sex, yes it was and still is effected by the treatment but I can still have orgasms and now they are dry, no semen comes out any more! My wife loves that! In fact, my orgasms are stronger than before, if you can believe that. yeah

Did you know that you can have an orgasm without a complete erection? They didn't tell me that at the doctor's office.

You mentioned indignity, well if you are going to fight this crap, you need to get over that because you will be pulling your pants down a lot from now on. Besides, no one sees the pads you will be wearing but you. 90% of men will be continent in the first year. I was one of the lucky ones, I guess and needed additional surgery to correct that. But hey, I didn't know that was possible until a year ago.

I just posted a new song on another thread that was written about cancer awareness and how you can't do this alone. You are not "Superman"! Listen to it, please, and see if you don't feel better. I have listened to it over a dozen times in 24 hours and I am so happy I fought this battle.

Don't give up, for yourself AND your family. Everyone in your family is effected by YOUR CANCER so don't let them down.

Fight the fight! All of us have walked the walk before you. We all know someone who has died from this thing and it's not pretty.

A little pee never stopped me!

You're no Superman. The song I posted is off YouTube. Watch the video, over and over again. The guy singing the song just loss his father 2 weeks ago to cancer. His dad never went to the doctor to be checked. When he finally did. It was too late. It is not too late for you.

You are not alone any more. All the guys AND gals on Healing Well have your back now. We won't let you down!

Bill from Florida cool
Posted 9/6/2014 11:05 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Matt,

As others have pointed out, there are many options for treating PCa, you do not have to choose surgery. Look at brachytherapy therapy, google Cyberknife, consider one of the focal therapies, etc. etc.,; many of these therapies promise none of the indignities that you feel you might get with surgery.

Also, I was 62 when I had my surgery and I am now 68 and 72 does not look very far off. I feel like I am just hitting my stride and would hate to think of leaving in 4 years.

By the way there are things you can do that might increase the 10 year expectancy ... such as a change in diet. You might want to Google Michael Milikens prostate cancer diet, many guys swear that pomegranate juice helps, etc.

Best wishes as you move forward.
Posted 9/6/2014 11:16 AM (GMT 0)
Matt,
I felt pretty much like you do when I thought that surgery was my only option. Turns out I had other options which were far better for me. My guess is that you do too. Do yourself a favor and see an oncologist. I had LDR brachy as a one-time treatment. I had a very quick recovery, and now lead a very active life which includes continence and excellent sex. At one time I felt that prostate cancer had ruined my life. Now, prostate cancer is no more than two PSA tests per year and a distant memory. Please check my stats at the end of this post. They are similar to yours. Do yourself a favor and check out your options.
God Bless
Posted 9/6/2014 12:14 PM (GMT 0)
You appear to be an excellent candidate for brachytherapy, both seeds and High Dose Rate. Check these out before deciding. You have plenty of time to decide and get treated. Here are some websites to learn more. For seeds visit www.prostrcsion.com by Dr Frank Critz a seed pioneer. For HDR see www.cetmc.com by Dr. Jeffrey Demanes the HDR pioneer that heads up the radiation at UCLA Medical Center. HDR does not leave the radiation in the body.
Posted 9/6/2014 12:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Matt
You have received some really good advice and insight in this thread. I was 48 when I was diagnosed but if I would have been your age I would have gone with a form of radiation. Yeah sure, there are some indignities dealing with the URO, you will get over it pretty quick. go fight and win, have a great long life.

Pat
Posted 9/6/2014 1:13 PM (GMT 0)
Matt,

You seem to have presented yourself with a number of false dichotomies -- imagining a question has two, black or white answers when there are a number of answers in varying shades of gray.

Surgery or not? There are tons of treatment options. Surgery is just one of them.

Treat it right now or die in ten years? Prostate cancer is a slow moving disease. There is an increasingly popular option called "Active Surveillance" where a cancer is watched and treatment is delayed as long as possible without increasing the risk unacceptably. It's really not that different from your "die in ten years" plan, except for the dying part. Men who die of prostate cancer don't just clutch at their chests, say the word "Rosebud", and expire, they are driven into treatment by their pain long before the cancer takes them. If it turns out that you will need treatment either way, why not time the treatment to give you as many side-effect free years as possible but avoiding the painful and undignified death part? It may be that further testing will show that the sensible time to treat is now but it might turn out that you can wait safely.

Do what you want to do or what your family and friends want? There are options available to you that meet your objectives and your family's objectives. You just need to get out and find them.

There is a saying that to a man with a hammer everything looks like a nail. You have been diagnosed with prostate cancer. So far you have talked to one doctor about it. He is a surgeon. Surgery is his hammer. It's what he does. You look like a nail to him. He's giving you good advice -- the best he's got. If he has prostate cancer that needed treatment it's what he would do. He'd go looking for a surgeon he trusted and have the problem dealt with. So, it's good advice -- but not the only good advice. You need to go talk to some more doctors.

You should talk to a radiation oncologist who does brachytherapy. You might also talk to a medical oncologist about your options. Medical oncologists treat cancer patients who need all sorts of treatments so they know about radiation and surgery and seeds and chemo and hormone therapy. They can be really helpful when you are trying to decide between treatment options since they work with doctors who are experts in all of them.

And, as for your anxiety, that is treatable too. There's no real medical advice to be had on this forum -- we just share experiences and information -- but when I was where you are Xanex was a pretty good friend of mine. It is cheap, it works fast and it takes the edge off. Any of your doctors can hook you up.
Posted 9/6/2014 2:00 PM (GMT 0)
I wish you would re-think your attitude toward the "indignities" of a catheter or incontinence.

Getting older generally brings a number of indignities. Losing one's hair; losing one's teeth; needing a cane or a walker; needing bifocals. And the list goes on.

I don't see anything especially undignified about needing a catheter for a week or 10 days. It's a bit of an inconvenience, but in the grand scheme of life it's hardly a big deal. It's a minor skirmish in the battle of life.

The same with stress incontinence. Talk to any woman over the age of 50 who has had a child or two. Chances are strong that she deals with stress incontinence every day of her life and doesn't complain. And, of course, you may well be one of the majority of men who quickly regain full continence after treatment, including surgical treatment.

I'm 69 now and completely continent, which is more than I could have said about myself prior to treatment.

How do you go about changing your attitude regarding these things? I wish I had the answer to that. All I know is that where there's a will, there's a way. Good luck to you.
Posted 9/6/2014 2:35 PM (GMT 0)
Matt
Your depression and anxiety seem to be controlling your decisions. Let go, man! Just admit that you need help, do your due diligence, and get on with life! There is no loss of dignity with a catheter for a short period or pads for a while. Whatever you decide to do, just stay positive and go from day to day. I'm sure your family and friends want you around well beyond age 72! And please see a psychiatrist and get your depression and anxiety under control so you can make decisions with a clear mind!
Bob
Posted 9/6/2014 4:14 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome to HW, sorry you need to be talking to us.

Getting the DX of PC is a large smack in the face. A common reaction is depression and anxiety. If you have that before, PC just makes it worse. Tell your doctors about it. There are things that can be done to help you overcome that. Some of us needed the meds to help us through. No problem with that, just remember that PC affects us as much mentally and emotionally as it does physically.

Also you have more treatment options than surgery. Get a referal to a radiation oncologist. You might find that radiation treatments are just as effective as surgery in your case. You might tolerate that better mentally than the stress of surgery.

and with proper treatment now, there is no reason you can't have 20-30 more years on this planet.
Why sell yourself short?
Andrew
Posted 9/6/2014 7:42 PM (GMT 0)
Matt,

Wait one minute! I had robotic surgery at 60 and have zero problems with incontinence or ED. So I can tell you having surgery doesn't necessarily mean you will be 100% incontinent or unable to have sex. I can tell you right now that the only way I know that I had my prostate removed is because of dry orgasm (which isn't a bad thing). My doctor said I could live 10 to 15 years if I didn't have surgery, but 70 or 75 is still too young to die giving my choice and the quality of life still exists. And surgery can buy you additional time if it does fail for future cures. With that said, of course there are no guarantees when it comes to surgery.

Positive surgical outcome depends on you and the surgeon. If you are in good shape, not obese and not incontinent now and no ED, you should be fine. You will have a catheter for 5 to 10 days, but as everyone here would tell you, it is more of a nuisance than anything. And sort of nice having shortly after surgery so you don't have to get up in the middle of the night to pee. And getting it yanked out is a non event.

I thought about brachytherapy or external radiation but decide on surgery with the help of my urologist that was trained at M.D. Anderson in oncology urology.

Looking back would I do it again... HELL YES!
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