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Posted 2/7/2015 9:13 PM (GMT 0)
Well, I've been writing my little PC poetry book and thought it was time to impose another one of my poems on this group.
No need to thank me, just one of the services I provide.
I've completed about 24 of these and have about 14 left to write.
Yes, I am likely to do this again.
Andrew

I Must Go to the Sea

The machine has stopped.
The beams no longer batter the body.
The doctor has proclaimed
all is well.

Breathing in the fresh air
brings no relief
mind weighed down
with the weight of doubt.

There should be joy in this moment
There should be freedom in the wind
There should be ...

But it won’t leave
That ghost, that specter
That word
That fear of return.

Happiness so far away
as far as the sea
Ship wrecked and marooned
The soul fights for survival

But the mind bends unwillingly to inaction
To hide
To wait
To long for rescue

Repair the ship
Run on the flowing tide
Once more to the power of the sea
and leave marooned that word,
that cancer.
Posted 2/7/2015 9:20 PM (GMT 0)
Bravo Andrew. Another masterpiece to add to your portfolio.

BTW. I love the connection with the sea, very apt.
Posted 2/7/2015 9:49 PM (GMT 0)
The elephant-in-the-room in the poem is actually the last word in the poem. Nice touch.

Another nice feature is the growing level of increasing anxiety, increasing in each stanza as the poem continues, until, again, it reaches the climax of the poem in that very last word.

Keep up the good work.
Posted 2/7/2015 11:31 PM (GMT 0)
I like it.  very nice.
Posted 2/8/2015 12:47 AM (GMT 0)
Well done !!!!!
Posted 2/8/2015 1:22 AM (GMT 0)
thank you for capturing thru poetry what so many of us are feeling.
Posted 2/8/2015 2:32 AM (GMT 0)
Very good Andrew. I don't usually understand or even appreciate poetry as a general rule, but I like it, and I was able to follow it clearly. Last word sums it up nicely, good work
Posted 2/8/2015 3:11 PM (GMT 0)
Beautiful!
Posted 2/8/2015 5:32 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for all your kind words. It was one of those poems that started with one of my favorite poems, "Sea Fever" by John Masefield on my mind. Likely most of you know at least the first couple of lines:

"I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by;"

Peace, love and salt water,
Andrew
Posted 2/8/2015 9:35 PM (GMT 0)

InTheShop said...
Peace, love and salt water,
Andrew


Andrew. Salt water and snickerdoodles just don't go together somehow. smhair

I will stick to dunking them in my tea I think tongue
Posted 2/8/2015 10:08 PM (GMT 0)
naw, salt water and snickerdoodles aren't a good combo. However, a drop of salt on your caramel chocolate bar is awesome :D
Posted 2/8/2015 10:55 PM (GMT 0)

halbert said...
However, a drop of salt on your caramel chocolate bar is awesome :D


Yuk.....Yuk....And double Yuk!! smhair
Posted 2/9/2015 12:37 AM (GMT 0)
Casper - there are times I worry about you...
:)

and I did make a batch of snickerdoodles today but I am keeping them all for myself.

Andrew
Posted 2/9/2015 4:23 AM (GMT 0)
Casper and Andrew, you really gotta a thing going with snickerdoodles lately. I have been making all kinds of renditions on the recipe. It's the stand-by feel good cookie, yes? BTW, love your poetry Andrew and look forward to the book!
Posted 2/9/2015 5:08 AM (GMT 0)
I like it man
Posted 2/9/2015 8:53 AM (GMT 0)

InTheShop said...
Casper - there are times I worry about you...
:)

and I did make a batch of snickerdoodles today but I am keeping them all for myself.

Andrew


Thats ok Andrew. Because I worry about myself ALL of the time rolleyes

I don't care see, because I made myself a batch over the weekend and they are alllll mine. turn
Posted 2/9/2015 9:00 AM (GMT 0)

celebrate life said...
Casper and Andrew, you really gotta a thing going with snickerdoodles lately. I have been making all kinds of renditions on the recipe. It's the stand-by feel good cookie, yes? BTW, love your poetry Andrew and look forward to the book!


Beth. I just cant help it, because after you sent me that recipe I cant stop making them. In fact I am now on my fifth batch! Very yummy indeed. Thank you tongue
Posted 2/9/2015 3:21 PM (GMT 0)
Well I made a batch of snickerdoodles yesterday too.
and I've added a new feature to my poems that I post on my blog, a voice recording of me reading the poem. Posted this poem yesterday with the audio: andrewsviewoftheweek.com/2015/02/08/i-must-go-to-the-sea/

There are days that I think my book should be done as an audio book as well as a written thing.
Andrew
Posted 2/9/2015 4:17 PM (GMT 0)
Andrew. You read poetry very well. You are wasted over there, come back to Avon and read some Shakespeare. I think you would do pretty good.

And yes, the way that you read poetry an audio book would be much better. More impact and very atmospheric. The only thing that would of improved your sound recording would be if you placed the sound of the sea in the background. Now that would sound cool don't you think?
Posted 2/9/2015 5:38 PM (GMT 0)
Casper - It's an interest thought. I might try it with a poem or two. It does raise the complexity of mixing the audio but if it was for an audio book, might be worth the effort.

I've found that reading and listening to poetry are two different activities. Each brings the word into the brain via different mental pathways and it changes who we respond to the words. That's why I've been doing the recordings lately.

Don't know about reading Shakespeare with my California accent. Don't know if the Royal Shakespeare Company would like this:

So dude, like, to be or not be
Is it more awesome to ...

Andrew
Posted 2/9/2015 7:54 PM (GMT 0)
Andrew. Well I think you should at least give it a try, especially with this latest poem. Mixing the sound in is not that difficult, lots of programs available to do that.

I do find poetry far more captivating through listening rather than reading, especially if it is done well just as you have done. The same with Shakespeare. I would rather watch/listen than read it in a book.

I disagree. Shakespeare is Shakespeare no matter what country it is performed. You said that you recently attended a play at a collage/university. I should imagine all the actors must of been American. You should read something from Shakespeare and put it on your blog . I would like to hear it and I bet you would do it well. You have a very good voice for it. Anyway, I don't think your accent is that strong. It is not like you come from Texas.
Posted 2/9/2015 9:19 PM (GMT 0)
Andrew. You have mail turn
Posted 2/9/2015 9:36 PM (GMT 0)
Got it, thanks!
Posted 2/10/2015 1:36 AM (GMT 0)
Cool
Posted 2/10/2015 2:23 AM (GMT 0)
RE: Shakespeare...there are students of linguistics who suggest that if you REALLY want to hear Shakespeare in something resembling Elizabethan english, one should go to the rural areas of West Virginia or Kentucky and have it read there. The so-called cumberland accent is supposedly pretty close to unchanged from the 1700's when the settlers first came. Sir Laurence Olivier would roll over in his grave at the thought.
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