feel bad for this

I think it is probably like anything else. Regular posters are guaranteed to get large responses because they are well liked. Questions from new members that "hit a nerve" will get good responses at times. We that post less often usually get the same 4 or 5 respond (Purge, Ed, Tall Allen, Jim, Tony when he was a regular). I don't begrudge that though. I am on and off enough where I have not established any relationships. My fault.

But more to your question....new members that are worried should always get a large response. My future daughter-in-law was just diagnosed with bladder cancer. The response I received from the InSpire sight was amazing. Our site is the best I have seen for information. I prefer this site because of the information. However, we should probably try harder to be a caring support system as well to new members. Just my opinion.

Paul

Jerry L. said...
On that particular thread, I didn't know what anastimoses meant.

I think it all depends. I've posted things that get very few responses and some that get a lot. New members should get more than a few.

Sometimes I just don't see it, or sometimes I don't take the time to respond to a thread title when I know I am not going to have anything useful to add. But sometimes, if I see no responses, I will respond just to say I don't really know, if I notice it.

I have started threads here that have had a whole bunch of response. I have responded to other folks threads and then had a whole bunch of response to my response.

OTOH, I have started 3 or 4 threads, including one of my very earliest, that have gotten zero response. At least one of these I bumped myself numerous times trying to get an opinion or an answer to a question that I posed in the thread OP. Not even a response saying "I don't know", despite many viewings of those threads. Crickets.

I guess there are several possible reasons for that. I suppose that would be because the subject matter was just totally not interesting to the members here. Hopefully that is the reason, I guess that is the best reason of several possibilities for why I got zero response. Just no interest.

I think this is a pretty abstract observation with what I call the "what if" situation. After 20 years of regimented lifestyle in the Air Force I learned that without the proverbial crystal ball to provide the answer to our questions, we are left to our own reasoning abilities to deduce why things happen or don't happen the way we expect. Andrew I'm glad you bring this up because as a newcomer it has crossed my mind as well. The good part is that I am actively learning about how this forum works and am better off for that. I will tell you that without the reference being a hyperlink I'm not sure which post you are talking about.

Often times I don't believe I have anything relevant to add and therefore will read the post but not offer a reply. You are much better at acknowledging someones contribution.

Some times I don't have a lot to say to a newcomer, or don't have anything to add, but if I see one being ignored I try to politely highlight that the poster should get some kind of response.

I am kind of stressed today so polite was a bit of a challenge.

Andrew

Leaky anastomoses are relatively rare, as I understand it, beyond a short time after surgery, and at only 11 days, it's very early. I thought his Uro gave him an excellent answer, and I had nothing to add. I have no knowledge of what they do when anastomoses never heal - I guess they have to go back in - maybe thru the urethra? - and connect it better - but I really don't know and I'm not one to give opinions without some facts. Perhaps there were no responses in HW because it is rare that it lasts. I'm also not a big fan of responding to hypotheticals of low probability - how does that help the patient? I think it only feeds his anxiety. I thought of giving my Mindfulness standard response, but realized that he will have his answer shortly, as his Uro said, and his anxiety is a perfectly reasonable response to what is likely a very short-term situation. So if I have nothing to offer that might quell his anxiety - what kind of response should I give? Maybe he was helped by just verbalizing his anxiety.

- Allen

Here's another angle on this.

I guess it's just the former librarian in me (one who over a 35 year career spent hours and hours of occasional duty on a reference desk, fielding questions from the public), but it's second nature to me to try and provide a response to the person, a response that has a link in it to a site that gives an answer and/or additional information that may help this patron (library talk for person asking a question).

For example, I may personally know nada about "anastomosis" but that doesn't stop me from googling that term (or using even more advanced boolean, etc.) to come up with a hopefully even partially useful site or sites, which I then provide as link(s) in my response to the person.

It's a way of saying "hi and welcome" to the poster, while adding "hey, here's something I found which may help answer your question, or at least give you some additional leads toward finding an answer. Click on the link and go see if it does."