His Life Lost: My Lesson To Learn ?

Hello Friends,

An acquaintance of passed away a few weeks ago. He was just a bit older than me, and grew up near my hometown. For years, I have driven past his house located on the Midwestern farm that his family has owned for many years out in the country, every time I traveled back to my hometown.

A few months ago, I heard the news that he had also been diagnosed with prostate cancer. I had the thought that the next time I saw him on a visit to my hometown, I would perhaps reach out my hand, give him a handshake, and offer to buy him a cup of coffee at the local cafe and share stories of our shared health diagnosis. I was a "town boy" and he was a "farm boy" when we were growing up, but that doesn't matter when you find out that you've got someone from your hometown who shares this diagnosis ...

My thoughts of getting together for coffee "someday soon" with him won't be happening ... ironically, soon after he was diagnosed, he was killed in an automobile accident. I know that road by heart ... I know that intersection well. He would have just gotten started on his treatments for prostate cancer ... when his life came to such an unexpected ending.

His life story has given me a lot to ponder. The medical examiner would have signed his death certificate with the cause of death listed as "injuries sustained in an automobile accident" rather than his cause of death being prostate cancer. He was taken away from HIS chance to fight the battle along with all of us. It's an ironic twist of fate ... shortly after he was diagnosed.

How much longer might he have lived, with the new advancements in treatments that are evolving as I write this? What might have HIS accomplishments have been, after being diagnosed with cancer? Who is now harvesting the farm fields he planted last spring after he was diagnosed, now that it is harvest time?

I feel that I have a LESSON to learn from all of this ... a positive message that I wanted to share with all of you, that I have learned from the unexpected twist of fate in his life's story. I assumed that we might be walking the same road together, comparing notes, lending some support to each other, and having some conversations of encouragement with each other.

He was taken away from HIS chance to fight the battle in an unforeseen way ... I feel it is a life lesson for ME now to reflect upon deeply ... that I need to keep fighting the battle ... looking out for others that I might have the chance to help along the way ... doing what I can to carry on the FIGHT ... to keep striving for accomplishments, large and small, in my own life each day ... to value each sunrise and sunset that I get to witness with my own eyes ... and to support my "battle brothers" in any way that I possibly can.

Each of us have achieved ACCOMPLISHMENTS since the day we were diagnosed. Somehow, we've all kept marching forward in the battle placed before us. We've put on our armor, picked up our swords and shields, mounted our white horses, and charged onto the BATTLEFIELD that lies before all of us. I felt his life's story could perhaps inspire ALL of us today to keep facing forward and to keep striving to achieve something each day ... and that maybe the battle that lies before us is somewhat of a privilege or honor that he was denied ... not a battle that any one of us would have chosen ... but a battle that we are still engaged in with determination at our side ... and that I need to learn a LIFE LESSON in all of this that might inspire others who read this story. This day is not over, and I plan to get a few more things accomplished before sunset this evening ... how about you?

Here's a quote that inspired me today, that I want to share with you, with some words of wisdom from Ralph Waldo Emerson:

"The purpose of life is ... to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have and make some DIFFERENCE ... that you have lived and lived WELL."

I'm still seeking life lessons in all of this, and waiting for more to be revealed to me over time, but I think I can truly learn something from what I have shared with you today.

Always, my best,
"Cyclone" From Iowa State

Post Edited (ISU-CycloneFan) : 1/30/2016 8:14:27 PM (GMT-7)

Sorry to hear of this loss.
Condolences,
Andrew

yeah. On May 31, just over 3 months after my surgery, I fell asleep at the wheel, left the road and hit a culvert. My injuries were scrapes on my forearm from the airbag and a bruised sternum. I hit it hard enough (cruise control at 60 mph) that if I'd hit differently my car could have cartwheeled.

I get it. I know that the stress of everything was keeping me from sleeping enough. Lesson learned.

Cyclone: Pay a visit to his family if you get the opportunity. I'm sure you already thought of it.

Celebrate and enjoy life.

Cyclone,

Sorry to hear about your loss. Once again we are reminded of how unsure and transitory everything is. Since my Dx I find that the little things have become so much more important to me. I can be happy with just a warm sunny day walking in the park, watching the animals.

Meeting a friend for a coffee or lunch has become a real treat. I know I never can do enough to make the people close to me know that they are special to me, but I hope it comes though. We all do what we can, where we can. Nobody has ever been given enough time, nor has enough energy to do all the things they want to do, even under the best circumstances. Hang in there.

I think I am having a Firmagon day.

C.G.

Cyclone,

I am sorry to hear about your friend. Recently, I had a conversation with several friends . . . is it better to be taken quickly, without warning or experience a lingering condition that at least allows one to come to terms with life and the final days? No conclusions were made.

BTW Cyclone, I wonder if we may be neighbors ourselves. We are in Des Moines.

Hi Cyclone,
There are so many things that we begin to see once we know that we may not have as much time here as we previously thought. Not that I am giving up by any means but having an illness, especially and advanced illness like ours cause us to reflect on not only our own lives, but the live of others that surround us. It some ways it frees us to let go of petty little differences and grudges and allows us to focus ,ore on the here and now, rather than what was, or whT should be.

It also lets us know that we need to take action for those things that are important, whether it be rebuilding relTionships, or starting that hobby that never seemed to get off the ground.

If only the rest of the world can learn what we learn.

Thanks for the post.

Cyclone,

That's a great thread you started!

It's quite amazing to read these posts and hear about the lessons this illness teaches us. If it was not such a bitter drink it might be an excellent medicine for today's world!

It teaches us to be humble and thankful for things that we might not appreciate without it - or at least not enough. I have never been more grateful for my friends and family and loved ones, for every new day, for moments of peace and quiet, for nature's beauty, for the very simple things in life - now that I have stared death in its face. The knowledge that we are walking on very thin ice makes every moment more intense, more precious.

And it is great to hear from you all and know that there are others out there who go through the same fundamental experience. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks for sharing this poignant and heart-warming story.

Cyclone, seems like compassion runs in your family. Your brother in law showed compassion to his fellow farmer, as elonquently as you do so here to other members of HW.
Thank you for that post.

That made me tear up on a Sunday morning. Thank you for sharing.