Posted 1/22/2016 9:53 PM (GMT 0)
A very arrogant oncologist, Dr. Giovanni, dies and goes straight to Hell. On arrival the Devil says, "I'm going to give you three choices, which is more than you ever gave your patients. Whichever door you choose will be how you'll spend eternity." So the doctor opens the first door and sees a mob of people sitting on a floor covered with spikes. He goes to the next door and sees a humongous crowd of sinners lying down in maggots. At the third door, there is a throng of people chatting happily and drinking coffee, although they are up to their knees in manure. "Thank God," he exalts, "It smells terrible, but least I could drink coffee and be able to talk to people." He enters and joins the group. He is about to sip his first coffee when a loudspeaker announces, "Coffee break is over. Back to standing on your heads!"
Three buddies were talking about death and dying.
One asked, "When you're in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"
The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time and a great family man."
The second man says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."
The last guy says, "I would like to hear them say LOOK, HE'S MOVING!!!"