Regrets ? Yes & No

No regrets here. So far I have been blessed with the trifecta of being cancer free, no incontinence, and no ED. What more can a person ask for?

Tom

Well, thanks for asking...

Yes, I regret what I put myself through. I didn't need to do have "immediate" (3 or 4 months after diagnosis) treatment. Seven or so years later, I feel less regret for having chosen and gone through with the surgery than I do for being so stupid as to not letting the little bit I learned before-hand about favorable-risk PC be enough to raise a red-flag in my mind to stop and learn more before proceeding.

I did some great research on surgery and other treatment modes; did my "due diligence" and was smart enough to find the most highly experienced surgeon in the region...that part I did great on. It was the step BEFORE that where I screwed-up. I only had a favorable-risk case--a couple cores of 3+3 and 3+4 PC, with low (under 10 ng/mL) PSA and a negative DRE. I never talked to anyone about sticking around long enough for a 2nd, confirmatory biopsy to see if I needed treatment or could be fine on Active Surveillance. I'm kicking myself for being stupid in that regard.

So my "treatment regret" is really that I had the TIME and didn't take advantage of it. I regret that I didn't educate myself THOROUGHLY on the part of the disease that ended up being most important to me. I skipped over the important "Step-1" (do I need treatment) and went right to "Step-2." I followed the path that my doctor led me to, and "rushed" a decision for a major operations I probably didn't need...at least not anytime in the near future. I locked into a decision for surgery quickly, then started taking my time to look at who and where do have the procedure done. My surgery has led to the "typical" litany of problem/side effects.


So, again, thanks for asking cmetalman. I've typed this here before in previous threads about regret. I'm not sure which one, but if you type the two words--treatment regert--into the HW search bar you'll find 10 pages of threads, mostly from the PC site. Some have the words in the thread title, others are embedded in individual posts.

From what I read from many doctors, there are other men who have made similar mistakes to mine. Heck, Dr Mark Scholz--one of the world's leading care-giver for men with PC--wrote a whole book about it: "The Invasion of the Prostate Snatchers."

No regrets.
If I hadn't had it out when I did it would have spread farther (it may still have).
I miss feeling like a man, but I'm a new man now. I'm still defining my new life.
I'll hopefully not take anymore lupron, so I'm a little afraid of how I'll feel once the T levels come back (if they do).

No regrets here over treatment choice.

I was diagnosed in 2007 with Gleason 6 (3+3), T2C & PSA <4 at age 57. Diagnosing Urologist told me "This is a no brainer. Get treatment ASAP." I embarked on the journey of Watchful Waiting/Expectant Management, instead, and followed a strict protocol for the next 7 1/2 years...became vegetarian, took up the practice of Yoga, lost 50 lbs, and became an overall much healthier person. I continue those habits. At Gleason 7 (4+3) & PSA >6, despite all my holistic efforts, and having studied all the options for years, I gave it up and underwent classic (not robotic) radical prostatectomy executed by a top surgeon for this a year ago this month. Nervous with a small positive margin, PSA since has been right where one would want it, most recently 0.015.

I lament from time to time that I was diagnosed with the PC life changer. But, I have no regrets about my treatment choices. Having watched my father die form metastatic PC, I am grateful, that better science and diagnostics are available to me, and that I get to live longer, and enjoy a better quality of life, than he did in his later years. That it is not perfect in my case with respect to sexual function is a small price to pay.

I have resentment regarding the imposition PC has made on my life. I deeply resent -- more and more, knowing what the future probably entails -- the elephant in the room. I resent living and dying by the next upcoming PSA tests. I know many handle this periodic stress better and many handle it worse.

Now, in answer to the question: I have ZERO REGRETS. As I have said in other posts on this very same topic, I made the best decision with the knowledge I garnered after doing a lot of reading/research/consultations. Had I failed to do due diligence, then I suspect I would have regrets.

Mel

Octorobo, you highlight a VERY important point (well, you didn't really say this, but I'll give you credit for sparking the thought).

This is ANOTHER example of how PC is really two, or three, or multiple DIFFERENT diseases.

We often speak of them as one common experience, but the utter truth is that one size does not fit all. "Treatment regret" is far more prevalant amongst favorable-risk men...those who probably didn't need aggressive treatment but got it anyhow (like me!), cuz I didn't use the GIFT of TIME to my advantage in pre-treatment. My comments don't resonate, understandably, with a high-risk guy who needs--appropriately-- to throw the kitchen sink at his disease, and promptly.

In some regards we do a dis-service to men at both ends of the spectrum in some of our discussions here at HW/PC and perhaps two different boards might be appropriate for favorable and unfavorably diagnosed cases. (I'm not strongly advocating for that; enough said on that topic...for now). In discussions like this we should, and I will, self identify our cases at the time of diagnosis by our risk category.

I was favorable-intermediate risk at diagnosis, and that appropriately sets the stage for my regret as previously described.

Post Edited (JackH) : 5/3/2016 12:41:29 PM (GMT-6)

I don't regret my treatment choice but the uncertainty surrounding PC makes it very a difficult choice for all of us. Based on what was known at the time, low volume favorable intermediate risk G7 (3+4), I had an equal chance of a "cure" with surgery or radiation.

With a post surgery Gleason upgrade to G7(4+3) it made me wonder if I made the right choice with surgery. Would I have chosen differently if I started the journey as a G7(4+3)? Not sure, certainly doesn't matter now but I don't regret my original decision based on the information I had at the time.

'Regrets, I've had a few; but then again, too few to mention…I did…what I had to do and saw it thru without exemption..'

My own thought.. A human being without regrets…always…lived with other's let's...

I have some regrets in my life, but none involve prostate cancer. For me, regret is like an anchor...it means looking back instead of forward. I tend to be an optimist. In fact, I am so optimistic right now that I plan to wait until I am 70 ( 18 more years) to have my midlife crisis :)

Maybe being still on the "near side", I'm not qualified to post into this thread, but I have a comment on how situation and timing affect our decisions, which we may regret or not.

I was told in 2009 that I likely had PCa, based on ultrasound findings of abnormal areas. So, the next three years I was on an unofficial active surveillance schedule of testing, exams, MRI's. and biopsies at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore.

When I received a call four years ago following another biopsy, I got the bad news.

"We found some cancer. Now, you can take this pathology report to any surgeon or radiologist in the country, and schedule their services. But, seeing your age and the small amount of Gleason 6 cancer, I would recommend that you don't take those actions, but enroll in a program we have here at Hopkins".

I had his card in my hand..."Associate Professor of Uro-Oncology and Pathology, Johns Hopkins Medical School.".

OK - he was the expert. I would have done whatever he said. Think about that. I do, almost every day.

We like to think that our decisions are totally our own. I'm not sure that is true. There are always outside influences. I'm just lucky that mine was right for me at that time.

My regrets are that the GP didn't pay attention to the results of my husband's DRE and that we weren't educated enough to know what that met. Gary, however, has no regrets and is living each day as best he can. So I take my cues from him and move forward with the attitude that we can't change the past. We can only try to make the best of the hand we've been dealt and try to use our experiences to try to help others.
Beth

This thread could easily extend to regrets about life. Makes you think about living a life that when it ends, will end with no regrets.
I've got a few, but not about anything really important. I think I'm happy with the way I've lived my life, and this conversation reinforces to me how important it is to continue to live in a way that I don't regret