The importance of Attitude--or is it Belief?

There have been several threads lately--about diet, supplements, Kubler-Ross, etc. that all have a common point, at least to me. And that is the importance of our attitude in regards to what is happening to us because of our common diagnosis.

Whether we're talking about diet, or how we deal with our new reality, or how we 'get through' it, if I as an individual, if 'we' as a self-selected group of individuals, go at this with the attitude that says, "I'm going to do whatever it takes to beat it, I'm going to embrace life as never before, I'm going to go all out to find the best practitioners and choose the best treatment FOR ME", then the likelyhood of a positive outcome is dramatically increased.

We're not talking about hard data here. A lot of us in here are hard data types. We like solid proof. Thing is, what I'm talking about here isn't about hard data or proof. Not only doesn't the data exist to prove the point, it's probably not possible to develop that data.

My wife, an educator, tells me that there are studies out there that suggest a simple concept as true: One of the biggest predictors of educational success is the presence of a dedicated teacher who (a) believes in what they are doing and (b) who believes in the child they are dealing with. I see a similarity with us. If we believe we are going to the best facility we can find and get to, and believe that the doctor we are consulting with is one of the best at what he/she does, then we will have a quality outcome. All the statistics and averages break down at that point.

Oh, and having a group around us who can talk us off the ledge when we get out there on our own is of immeasurable value. Those who showed me the path--you know who you are--now it's also my turn to shed some light on the way to the other side.

In one of Dr. Snuffy Myers' books he devotes considerable print regarding a patient's attitude and approach to the disease and treatment. He expects a positive forward thinking approach and works with his patients to develop it. When the patient won't be positive, Myers reports that it does make a difference in the outcome.

I have always taken the approach..."it is what you make it". Hardly anything in life is inherently and completely good or bad. Most everything is relative, variable, and dynamic. The better you make something, the better the outcome will be.

And attitude isn't enough. Behavior is all important. Positive behavior exhibits positive attitude and feeds it to improve. My mother used to say you are only as happy as you act.

A radio commentator, Dennis Prager, does a weekly segment called the Happiness Hour. I suggest you all listen in sometime, I believe on Fridays. You can check his website. He has a couple of givens. First it is nobody's job to make you happy. You are completely responsible for your happiness. He also contends that as humans we have a moral duty to be happy and demonstrate it to others. Allways interesting and worthwhile.

Carpe diem.

Because, as the song in the link below says,

"Like Columbus in the olden days, we must gather all our courage.
Sail our ships out on the open sea. Cast away our fears
And all the years will come and go, and take us up, always up."

From:

"We May Never Pass This Way Again"

/www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vd6zYQPCgsc

One example of what I'm talking about, from my own PC story: When I was in the research phase, one conversation still stands out for me. I knew, even at the time, that the stats didn't follow the statement...and yet I chose to believe it.

In one of my pre-surgery visits, the surgeon told me, "Based on your medical history, your general health, your lack of other urinary/ED issues, you have a 90% chance of making trifecta within a few months". And he proved to be correct. Some would say that was just a sales pitch, and that I was foolish to believe it. Thing is, HIS confidence in his ability to cure me was palpable, and I chose to embrace it. It's hard for me to accept that my confidence in his confidence didn't make a difference.

There is so much we have no control over. Attitude is one of the few things that is under our control. It's a gift we can give ourselves when making decisions under uncertainty.

Tudpock what a great story about your Dad...

Attitude is important, but sometimes there's just no substitute for penicillin.

Diem Recipere.

sounds like a 12-step meeting. i'm sure you all have have heard of the serenity prayer.

ed

Is it that attitude actually changes biological and physiological science? Is this the premise of this thread?

Or....

Great attitudes are healthier coping mechanisms for what was going to happen to us regardless (due to physiology and science). Thus.. regardless of what happens to us physiologically. ..better outcomes are planted, sewed in the fertile soil of a good attitude. ....even if that outcome is the same? And so....One may get confused with the other...based on outward appearance.


One problem I have with the first scenario....we don't know how much of a role genes play in attitude. And not just attitude. ..but...In one's ability to change ones attitude. It's easy to say ..."attitude is a choice!" (Esp. If that's been ones experience). But what the proclamater can't know is how much science plays into how his experience has played out. In other words...what may be evident to him may be in fact be based on things he's unable to know.

I liked what Dick Cavett had to say about his experience with depression. "It takes a coule of weeks for this stuff to kick in (treatments). But, it's difficult to concentrate on that when all of one's energies are on how one I is going to get through the next hour".

Individuals/outcomes can be this way as well...based on things we know little of.

Even the founders of aa said....There are those who cannot or will not..." "they're are such unfortunates, they are not at fault." Then...people who eventually do recover are frequently heard to say...."I used to belive I was one of those".

Well...they can't know...they weren't. But...not for the grace of... (whatever)...but for the grace of their gene pool.

IT, if there was a premise at all (it's my thread, I can define what it means like the Red Queen), it's the idea that there is more to healing from and dealing with what we're dealing with than the mechanical side of things. Our doctors, no matter how good they are, can't HEAL us. They can remove it, cook it, freeze it, or otherwise do their best effort to destroy the beast that is dwelling in us. Healing from the injury, however, is up to us.

And, one thing that has a huge influence on our HEALING is what is going on in our own heads. If I truly believe that changing my diet in a dramatic way, or taking a particular series of supplements or vitamins (within reason--some of those things are proven to be harmful in certain scenarios), or whatever else I might do along those lines to help myself--then chances are I'll find myself feeling better. Is it mind over matter? Maybe. Is our brain affecting our metabolism and our physiology? Entirely possible.

Changed attitudes can take a lifetime to attain. Or not. I do know that I get to choose, each day, how I'm going to deal with the challenges that will come my way. Abraham Lincoln is supposed to have said that people are as happy as they choose to be. I find that to be a true statement. I know people who have chosen to be miserable, and their goal is to make sure everyone else is as miserable as they are.

Halbert,
I disagree with Lincoln.

There are many people who are unhappy that do not choose to be unhappy. They suffer from mood disorders and have as much chance of correcting their illness as you had of correcting your PCa. If they could make their illness go away they would. They need informed professional help to get by .... hour by hour as IT and Dick Cavett pointed out.

Sorry to belabor a point, but for many people changing their attitude is not an option available to them.