How a Single Conversation Saved my Life

raypaul said...
When I was evaluated for prostate cancer I can remember the ambiguity I kept hearing from my PCP and Urologist. Your PSA is up it might mean you have PCa or not. The biopsy came back negative it may mean you do not have PCa or we may have missed it. The second biopsy same thing. I then had an MRI which came back with two suspicious spots. I was told this could be noting or it could represent significant cancer. My third biopsy found G6 which I was then told could mean that thats all there is or he missed a more aggressive cancer.

Raypaul I'm glad you stated what's probably been on a lot of guys minds. Mine too seemed like a tug of war between the GP and the Uro... but I see you had THREE biopsies, with the first two just a couple months apart. And still they managed to miss the cancer. Yikes! I believe you are fortunate that it was still organ confined after all that poking.

And I'm glad TC posted his story (sorry mine was so long... I start out thinking they will be short, but don't always end that way). TC's case is probably more typical... some suspicious blood work, a physical examination that is also suspicious. Hmmm... you have some signs it might be cancer. Then comes the traditional hand wringing. OMG could I have cancer? and OMG might I need to have surgery? And I also understand how many guys would be all concerned about possible ED... there are worse things.

No, the worse case is you know you have something wrong, but nobody can figure out what it is. I know there are guys who are discovered to have a slightly elevated PSA, then learn that their tumor has already metastasized to their bones (those are the ones that really break my heart) while there are still others who have had equally elevated PSA's for years and years and have basically given up on repeated biopsies.

In my case, and maybe Raypaul, it was actually kind of a relief to finally learn that I had cancer. That was not the shocker. The shock was that it took three years to find it. I realize there are limitations in the practice of medicine as well as further restrictions imposed by the insurance companies. But catching any cancer while it is still stage 2 is far better for everyone than tossing it about for several years waiting for it to hit stage 3 or 4.

Once I had the diagnosis then there were the usual decisions, mainly RA or RT. The most difficult part was how to tell my (adult) children, and then just a few months later that their mother also has cancer. With that out of the way, dealing with the SE's of HT and the fear of getting an AUS seem like just some rough spots on the road. After having to fight the medical system in both my own case as well as my wife's, I always take great satisfaction when I read about the majority of people whose cancer is discovered during some routine medical exam, it is treated, and they can get on with the rest of their lives.

Where are the moderators?? JackH nailed it. There is no lack of clarity here, just TC327's lack of accurate knowledge and assessment. I started writing a similar post last night but hit erase. If I were a wife or partner coming to HW, scared to death of a diagnosis of PC, not knowing how relatively intermediate risk at best this case would be, and read this story I could easily go away with feeling the sky was falling. In reality with the information presented, this is garden variety PC - very manageable by your local urologist. In trying to be "nice", we are placing overly exaggerated information out on a well respected site for accurate information. If TC327 want's to help, let him first be accurate in his assessment of risks. The word count of a post does not equate to the wring ability or accuracy of the misinformation being dispensed. The only exception would be women's romantic novels at check out at the grocery store. Don't want to be mean, but seems the estrogen levels are really high here today. Come on men show some educated discernment- we all can empathize with the newly diagnosed. However, when three years elaps between elevated psa/diagnosis and treatment, there is time to become relatively knowledgeable about what you are talking about. You should not be a given a pass as a "newbie" after three years and "you want to help".

Is something missing here? I don't understand Octorobo's question, "Where are the moderators?" Did something get deleted from An38's post? All I know is that every time I come back to HW and see a new member being taken to task for the decisions they've made, rather than being congratulated and welcomed to the forum, I remember quite clearly why I hardly ever post here any more. This is no longer the welcoming, supportive place that it used to be. I can't speak for other long-time members, but that's how I feel. Too much estrogen here? I don't think so...just not enough understanding and enouragement extended to fellow prostate cancer survivors looking for some support. And I don't care what decisions they've made, they deserve SUPPORT, not criticism and second guessing. Save the philosophical discussions for other threads, unrelated to a specific newcomer.

I think An38 is right on the money. Conversations about over-diagnosis and over-treatment have their place, but if I were TC327, I wouldn't stay here. I'd look for a site where friendship and camaraderie are extended to new arrivals...not blunt comments like, "Where's the part where your life was at risk?" How rude. If I were greeted this way at a prostate cancer support group, I'd head straight back to the parking lot and drive away.

Post Edited (clocknut) : 4/17/2017 9:33:44 PM (GMT-6)

My ISP has been knocking me off HW lately so sorry I'm late to this thread. First of all, welcome to TC327. Secondly, An is right - an implication of over treatment to a new member is inappropriate; let's please avoid it.

Thirdly, as you all know your mods try to let the conversations go but this one has ended its useful life. When long time members are suggesting that new members need not stick around and other members are worried about the estrogen level then the thread has ceased to be useful to anyone. Hence the inevitable lock.

Jim