Webcasts of funerals: an idea whose time has come? (Article)

When an elderly aunt of mine died recently, my sons and I were invited to the funeral, but because of prior commitments we had to decline attending. Added to that was the fact that we would have had to travel about several hundred miles to (and back from) the city where it was held.

I guess all that was what got me interested in the article below, which, though short, covers many of the issues that would come into play with the implementation of funeral webcasts, a way to assist those unable to attend in person the funeral of a close one.

Obviously, the concept is pretty simple. Things like conference proceedings, school graduations, town meetings, and the like, are already being webcast these days. So doing so for a funeral would seem a reasonable and practical way to go.

If you check the web, googling "funeral webcasts' for example, you'll find that there are indeed funeral businesses out there right now that are already offering packages that provide this kind of service.

Computers are already involved so much in our lives. In our births, with hospital computers hooked up to newborns to monitor their well-being, etc., then checking our health situations in so many ways as we grow and age, so it would seem only reasonable that they would finally assist us in our departures. Cradle-to-grave service, as it were.

Of course one might wonder if such a webcast option might result in reduced attendance at the actual funeral service itself, with people opting to watch on their computers at home, rather than attending.

Something like, though it's not quite the same context, of course, that line from the Beatles song: "Eleanor Rigby ... and was buried along with her name – nobody came."

Personally, I imagine I would be okay with it if, when the time comes, my boys want to install the hookups and such to produce such an electronic webcast of my own final ceremonies. (Heck, my older son, the computer programmer, would probably even consider the technical details of it a challenge!)

How about you? Would you be agreeable to such a computerized send-off, or would you prefer more traditional rites?

agraveinterest.blogspot.com/2015/07/funeral-webcasts-virtual-funerals-allow.html

Interesting article on that approach. I personally do not see anything wrong with it, more so to be used by people who just cannot make it or are just not comfortable at a funeral. I agree with Tall Allen everyone needs some closure. I personally do not want a funeral. I want cremation and someone can host a remembrance of me after.

Anybody that cares enough bout my family, will be at my funeral. Anybody that doesn't can kiss my petunia. I'm not asking for a webcast.

With that said, I don't really care, I'll be dead.

When my brother died two years ago, the church did a webcast.(Apparently, that's SOP for his family's church, although I'm sure my SIL could have requested that they turned it off.) When I found out they were doing that, I personally thought it was a bit odd, but turned out that the family members (including a 97-year-old aunt) that couldn't travel for the service were very happy to view it. I'm sure they didn't have the same experience as the 250 people at the service, but at least they still managed to be connected.

I have mixed feelings about this; however, Ron and I decided we want to be cremated. We purchased two wooden urns; and want our ashes scattered elsewhere. I want mine by the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Ron wants his scattered by the lighthouse in Menominee, Michigan. Most importantly, this has been documented.

Well, it's clear from the responses so far that mourners' actual presence at funerals is far preferable to some kind of electronic participation only on their part.

That's perfectly fine, and I myself frankly would be among the number who would choose that way if a choice were possible.

Decades ago so many families and their immediate relatives were usually located within relatively small geographical areas, not winding up spread across the country, as in modern times.

So for many modern funerals the electronic substitute is, as noted earlier, better than missing a close one's funeral altogether. But I do agree that in many ways it's a poor substitute.

Another significant advantage of one's actual presence at a funeral, one that has not been mentioned so far, is the opportunity for reconciliations among feuding family members. I once saw this years ago at a funeral in my own family. A couple of distant cousins of mine, brothers, had been at odds with each other for years. They had both come to the service for our grandmother, and at one point I saw them talking together, civilly, and I even overheard some of their conversation. And they were essentially agreeing to try a little harder to make things better between them. I'm not saying they completely resolved their differences in their exchanges that day, but I am convinced they did make some progress in moving toward having more positive feelings toward each other.

That happened only because the funeral event resulted in their actually coming together face-to-face. If the event had been electronic, and they had not met in person, that wouldn't have happened at all.'

Another advantage of actual attendance is that for some people it forces them to accept that this death has actually happened. They may still be in denial if all they have experienced is the viewing of an electronic account of the event, which might not even show the deceased. But if they are actually there, and seeing the mourners, and the events taking place, as well as viewing the deceased, there can no longer be any denial for them

Finally, all funerals present, if one is actually there, a certain "atmosphere." It may be heavy, or even light, largely dependent on the personality of the deceased, and how he or she is remembered.

But no electronic medium can capture it

So, agreed, it's best to go and be there if one can do it.

I am going to have my memorial service before I die, because I want to know what people really think of me...

InTheShop said...
I am going to have my memorial service before I die, because I want to know what people really think of me...

My uncle did that. For his 80th birthday, he got a room at the one really nice restaurant in the small-ish town he lived in and organized a luncheon for friends and family...my recollection is that there were about 60 or 80 people there. I (and wife and kids) came to Michigan from Florida to attend. 5 or 6 people prepared remarks to share...one of his daughters, my brother on behalf of my sister & I because he was like a father to us (ours died young), and several of his closest friends. His voice was getting weak, but (with microphone) he said some prepared words where he reflected on his life, and thanked his friends and family, and basically asked that his transgressions be forgiven (he really didn't have any transgressions to speak of...he lived a very good life and was much beloved.

It was wonderful. Everyone commented, "this is the way to go!"

His Parkinson's was just starting to set in then, but he lived another 4 or 5 years...but got out less and less. The event was essentially his farewell and eulogy...but while he was alive to enjoy and participate in it.

Post Edited (NKinney) : 1/26/2018 1:06:52 PM (GMT-7)