Have you personally counseled other men?

Yep. And have tried to be informative as I discussed available options with them and not bring my own biases in to play.

Can think of three guys I have counseled.

One had surgery and needed radiation after, one had hormonal therapy and EBRT and one had hormonal therapy and SBRT.

I have never counseled anyone, but since the very beginning of my story, going back decades, at every single step along the way there have been guys already in the club who genuinely gave of themselves to help for no reason except to just help me. It always made a difference and still does. When and if my time comes, I'll try to do them proud and honour them.

does telling a guy, "You should see a doctor about that." count as counseling?

if so, I do it all the time.

Andrew

Well, getting them to the doctor is certainly a starting point! I usually talk to them about HealingWell and give them the web address so they can do some reading and maybe even ask a question or two. Often, they don't know what questions they should ask, so giving them some suggestions along those lines can also be helpful.

Post Edited (clocknut) : 5/31/2018 3:18:03 PM (GMT-6)

Don’t know if it qualifies as counseling, but...

I was in Aruba at a restaurant for dinner and I got a call from a friend. He was literally hysterical,crying. He had just gotten results of a positive biopsy. (second biopsy, first was negative). Total panic. I talked him off the ledge, and explained to him, convinced him, that he was not gonna die, at least for quite a while, and not of PC. He was much calmer at the end of the call. We had dinner with the wives when he got home, and I talked him through all the things he should consider.
He didn’t want to hear about radiation,in it’s various forms or AS. but I told him anyway. He was hell bent on surgery, and had it done.
His first PSA was undetectable. He has had two or three in the two years since, but has no idea what the results were. His philosophy is, if they aren’t going to do anything till .1mor .2manyway, whatsbthe difference, I’ll get the results on the next one. And if there’s anything to discuss, the doctor will call me.

Needless to say, I’ve begged him to,get more involved and knowledgeable about his care and his situation. But he wants to be an ostrich.

I also counseled my son to get a PSA at age 37 for a baseline, which he did. But that’s not really counseling. It’s parenting.

I try to - but so far I haven't had many one-on-one opportunities.

I am an active, outspoken participant in a local support group. The group is comprised mostly of older gents who have been around, and who are managing their disease fairly well. There are informational presentations, but not much discussion - until I came along.

I usually take an active role in discussion, and try to engage every new attendee. Many of them are frightfully unaware of their real situation and their options. I try to open their eyes and minds, and often refer them here as well.

I agree with Jerry, in that people (myself included) always seem to feel better when they meet others who are in a similar situation and doing well in spite of it. Seeing is truly believing.

Hello Clocknut ~

Interesting thread topic ~ everybody here who has posted has helped others, in ways they might not ever know or realize ~ when you look at the number of people who read each thread, then you know that you are helping others.

My situation has a bit of a twist to it ~ my father stands right alongside me, as a fellow prostate cancer patient.

My late grandfather passed away from metastatic prostate cancer when I was growing up ~ back in the era when there were no viable treatments such as chemotherapy or radiation available. So, prostate cancer has impacted three generations of my family.

Ironically, my dad and I even share some of the same doctors ~ urology and oncology. So, together, we have a tight and trusted bond with our medical team.

When I visit my hometown, it gives Dad and me a very unique health "story" to share with other fellows.
Together, we have shared our "story" with other fellows, in the interest of promoting health check-ups for family friends, neighbors, old classmates, and community members.

With the "father and son" story, it definitely makes an impression on people we have known our entire lives, back in my hometown and surrounding areas. As time has passed, other fellows from my hometown have been diagnosed with prostate cancer, and Dad and I have both reached out to these fellows ~ several from his generation, and now some from my generation, as well.

The hometown bonds that were already in place, from years ago, go a long ways towards forming a trusted bond when someone faces a new diagnosis of cancer.

Every cancer patient that I know who finds a way to "reach out" invariably says the same thing: "You know, I went to help my friend when he was first diagnosed or started treatments, and when I reached out, I found that it helped ME, in fair return."

Ironically, I now have several friends, my same age, who now share in this same health diagnosis. They are from every chapter in my life ... hometown friends that I have known for decades; one of my college roommates; church friends; community friends; and even a couple of work colleagues. I have formed a "bond of brotherhood" with each and every single one of them, and we check in with each other frequently and feel a sense of kinship and brotherhood.

I am constantly moved by the outreach provided by the members here on this website --- tremendous insight and compassion and support are shared on a DAILY BASIS right here --- members reaching out to each other, from all across the globe, to others in times of need.

You don't have to follow this website for very long, and you will soon see the OUTREACH that is so evident among the members --- and to brand new members, who just posted for the first time. We all remember what's it's like to post for the first time, just HOPING there's someone out there who will reach out from across the miles.

It's also gratifying to hear of the ways our members here find ways to support others who just received a cancer diagnosis or who are going through treatments.

We have members here who do research to help others --- members who write to support other members --- members who read informative articles and clinical trial results to share with others here --- members who visit other cancer patients in their communities --- members who participate in prostate cancer awareness events --- members who lead or attend support groups --- members who find ways to volunteer their time and talent and service in the interest of helping others who face a diagnosis of cancer --- and members who contribute to prostate cancer charities, to support research discoveries for the future.

I'm thankful to see the continuing posts and OUTREACH to others that I see here, each and every day!

With all my best,
CYCLONE ~ Iowa State University