New Member Here; Post Op, Clean Margins

Hi Everyone!

My name is Bryan. I am 52 years old and I am a new member here. I've been reading the site since my original diagnosis pathology earlier this year, and I am 3 weeks beyond my lathroscopic prostectomy.
My gleason was a 3-4 Grade 2 with 35% involvement.

I will not bore you with the details of how I got to this point, but I will say I am blessed in many areas including the persistence (steadfastness....stubbornness perhaps?) of my family doc to the my urology team.
I am fortunatle to say that all of my margins were clear on my Surgical Patholgy and I am now on "The Path"

I know there are a probably billion threads on this, but I am really struggling with some depression, and I also simply do not know where I stand in regard to my post op incontinence.

I can hold the major volume back as I can feel it (I wake up in the middle of the night to go etc.), but I am struggling upon the odd "minor" movement etc. which I cannot feel an urge and I feel like an involuntary yard sprinkler.
I know all of this is normal etc.....but I just don't know if this is something that will get better....or if this is how I am going to live the rest of my life.
It seems really odd to me that I can control the MAJOR volume stuff...but not the small volume. I was wondering if anyone would know why.

I am down to about 4-6 pads a day from the 8-10 immediately upon cathader removal 2 weeks ago...and after reading a few of the threads on here, I am almost hesitant to post because I feel like my issues might be trivial relative to some other folks on here.

I thank God everyday for giving me a wonderful wife (27 years) and family who have been STRONG for me through all of this. And I definitely thank God for allowing the opportunity to catch this...as it killed my grandfather and my father has also had a prostectomy.
But now....the waiting game is going to eat me alive. Patience has never been my strong suit.

I am exercising, and doing so religiously... and I WANT terribly to trust what everyone has told me. (My staff and the 2nd opinions I sought at Cleveland seem to think its going to clean up.)

Is this going to get better? How long will it take?
I know the standard answers, but I would very much like to hear from some experience.

Hope I haven't wasted anyones time.
Thank you in advance.

I think he meant he's been married for 27 years but we can always dream Since you're only three weeks post-op you're going to be leaky, some of the guys here take several months to get mostly back to normal. I hit the jackpot and was mostly continent when the cath came out.

Ditto what Saipan said about an emotional roller coaster with this cancer. Don't let depression continue without some kind of intervention.

Congratulations on the good pathology. That matters most and the incontinence is secondary (but still important). You just need to be patient. In my case it took nine months before I could dispense with the pads. Keep in mind also that the road to dry is not perfectly straight, so don't panic if you regress periodically. As you become more continent you can switch from the bulky guards to the slim, trim shields, which are most less unpleasant to wear.

Bryan, you are in great shape, probably ahead of the curve. Seeing a psychologist can have great benefits. You need to avoid negative thoughts & focus on the positive. Have you smelled any roses lately? They are amazing this time of year. Almost 1 year out, my mind can still wander but I am in better control now than I was back then. RE: incontinence, time is your friend. Enjoy something good every day and before you know it you'll be posting a follow-up here in a few months telling me I was right. There is an old saying that is even more true after surgery: No matter how much you dance and prance, the last few drops(and now more) end up in your pants. Don't know where you are from but I'll be in Cleveland Saturday for the Tigers vs Tribe