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Because of the new moderator, Pratoman, I no longer feel safe on Healingwell. He arbitrarily erases my posts - some of which I have put a great deal of time, thought, and effort into. I don't want to get into a fight when I post here - civil disagreements about therapies are fine with me, fights with moderators over posts are not fine with me. Pratoman is, by his own admission, high strung - what I didn't know was that he is a control freak as well. He also blatantly lied to me - he said he would email me if he thought that a post should be deleted. He then deleted my very next 300-word post without an alert. He is temperamentally unsuited to the task. I don't know why he chose me as his victim - perhaps because I am the most visible member and he wanted to make his mark. I asked him to resign - he refused - so I am leaving.”I’m sure there is a good argument for me to NOT react, and NOT post the comments I am about
to post. I wrestled with the idea for a while. However, I’ve decided that I have no choice. I have been very sparing in my comments over the last week regarding this nonsense. That has been intentional. I didn’t comment until this morning, only when I had to, and I kept it short.
But NOBODY, NO MATTER WHAT THEIR POSITION, SHOULD BE FORCED TO BE SOMEONE ELSES PUNCHING BAG, OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, WITHOUT DEFENDING HIMSELF.
I am not going to punch back. I like to think I am more mature than that. But I have to defend myself by at least blocking the punches,
First, this entire issue arose because I edited out parts of exactly 2 posts of his.
The first one chastised, blatantly, the wife of a patient for the choice that they made together in treatment. And it was done by saying, “you may be happy about
the treatment, but your husband won’t be, when he deals with the side effects” he said this AFTER the members spouse had already begun treatment. If anyone thinks this was appropriate, and doesn’t violate the rule that says we should respect others treatment choices, I’d love to hear the logic. I don’t think ANYONE should get a pass for violating that rule no matter who they are.
The second one I edited, was the first part of a two part post. I interpreted it as disputing the validity of the rules. I may in this case, have been wrong in that interpretation. Perhaps I was even a bit heavy handed, in retrospect. But I’m not 100% sure of that. And there was IMO, a case to be made either way. And I used my best judgement. I’m not going to apologize for that. It’s my job as a volunteer moderator.
So based on two edits, the poster, as you can see from the above quote, has decided that I “chose him as a victim-perhaps because he is the most visible member, and I wanted to make my mark” .(his words not mine)
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 2 edits. He’s right. I haven’t edited anyone else’s posts. That’s because in the short time I’ve been a moderator, nobody else has so blatantly (in the first case) violated any rules.
2 edits should not result in a “temper tantrum” and a demand for me to resign with a threat to leave if I don’t. How ridiculous is that?
The next point I’d like to make, is the OP’s claim that I “told him” that I would notify him before I edited and give him a chance to edit himself. First off, I never promised anything. My exact words were that I “would TRY to notify him beforehand”. That was AFTER the first edit. I felt that the second edit needed to be made without delay, and so I made a judgement call, knowing that Allen, being on the other coast wouldn’t even be awake for another 4 hours. If anyone doubts what I said, I’ll be happy to send you a screenshot via email.
The third point I’d like to make is that I am as TA has stated more than once, high strung. But only when it comes to my health. I’m guessing 75% of people who’ve been diagnosed with cancer are as well. It’s not a crime. I don’t bring that quality to my volunteer role as a moderator. I am also not a control freak. That’s Allen’s opinion. He doesn’t know me. At all. So he’s not qualified to render that opinion.
At one point, I emailed Allen and suggested that we should agree to disagree, like adults do, and just move on. The response was one of his hurtful scathing personal attacks.
Nobody here is irreplaceable. We are a group of intelligent like minded people who collectively, have a ton of wisdom and are very capable of helping each other. Unless there is a need to have someone here who will tell us what to tell our doctor regarding what treatment we need. I for one, would rather have a resource (the forum members collectively) that helps us find the right doctor and ask the right questions. That’s something we can all do for each other.
No amount of knowledge, is worth being subject to being crapped upon, as some members have been, more than once.
As I said at the beginning, I wrestled with this for a while, before deciding to write and post. But one can only take so many attacks.
By virtue of the fact that I’ve been mostly silent for a week as this went on, and considering the constant attacks on me and my character, not to mention the multiple rule violations committed that I’ve been ignoring, I think I’ve finally earned the right to speak my mind. In full.
Now I hope we can all stop jerking off like teenagers and get back to helping each other.
Last point. I hope the “powers that be” do not think that finally defending myself, after showing much restraint, is out of line and cause for me to step,down. It’s not what I want. I think I have done some good here as a member and can help as a moderator as well. Any man, can only take so much garbage before he has to speak what he believes. Even if he is on Firmagon
