Friday joke

One day, Albert Einstein has to speak at an important science conference. On the way there, he tells his driver, who just happens to look very much like him:

“I’m sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!”

The driver agrees: “You’re right. As your driver, I have attended all of them, and even though I don’t know anything about science, I could attend the conference in your place, and make everyone think I was you.”

“That’s a great idea!” says Einstein. “Let’s switch places and do it then!”

So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver now dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, now dressed as the car driver, takes a seat in the audience.

But in the crowd there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won’t be able to answer it.

So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question to Einstein's driver on stage. The whole room goes silent, holding their collective breath, waiting for the response.

The driver then looks at him dead in the eye, and says:

“Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I’m going to let my driver in the audience reply to it for me.”

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries, and a coke."
The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad," says the man.
"Same," says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "Several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"
"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
The waitress asks, "But, sir, what's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses, and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say."