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fooling around post surgery

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Posted 3/24/2007 6:24 PM (GMT 0)
Doc said no intercourse (if at all possible) for 2 weeks following cath removal.  Taking Viagra 100mg everyother day.  He said if I get an erection, we could high five one another.  Is fooling around not a good idea?  I am assuming the no intercourse is for healing purposes, but if getting an erection is ok, then wouldn't a little petting be allowed?  Any thoughts would be appreciated.  Kurt
Posted 3/24/2007 6:44 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kurt! I'm sure the actual "petting" would be fine, except for the fact that at some point it's going to lead to throwing caution to the wind. But hurrah to you to have this as an issue. We did plenty of petting but also knew it was impossible for it to go further. This week we start experimenting with Trimix.

All the best to you.

:o) Linda & Bob
Posted 3/24/2007 8:08 PM (GMT 0)
If Kurt is in the mood and feels like it...do what comes natural. I'm thinking abdominal muscles may be a wee bit sore at just 2 weeks and ejaculation might hurt for some men. Heavy petting never caused a man to over strain any abdominal muscle to my recolection:>) Can't tell you how many men say they arose to orgasm inside of 2 weeks out of shear curiosity. Have fun you two kids :>)
Posted 3/25/2007 2:48 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Kurt, I am glad to know things are looking up!  B felt like doing it a week after surgery, but was too apprehensive. The doctor's aid said to have sex as soon as B felt like it, but make sure to take 100mg Viagra (otherwise its 25mg per night). To respond to Swimom, B got to climax on the 12th day after surgery, if you can call it that.  According to B, sensations leading up to the "moment of no return" are excellent, but there is a "no climax" climax after that.  It just doesn't really happen, although the muscle contractions are there.  He says that there is kind of a "pinched" feeling. Whether this is due to 3.5 weeks after surgery, of course, we don't know.  He thought is was transitory at the time, but now wonders... I have started a new thread to poll the men out there.  I am unhappy to say this development is a surprise.  The only reports I heard from men, in rooms like these, was that the climax was there (even if the erection wasn't). Despite this, B has told me that sex will still be worth it even there is no climax. Whew...I was worried there for a couple of days! Becky
Posted 3/25/2007 9:40 PM (GMT 0)
Dear Kurt (and Courtney too!)

This type of discussion is what makes this website so wonderful and vital to men with PC and their sexual partners.  In everyday life, we would never think of discussing such intimate matter about our sex lives.  However, here we feel comfortable in discussing such matters and asking for help and advice because we are all in the same game. I commend you for being forth right in bringing these matters up for general discussion.  Best of luck as your recovery continues.

Dave

 

Posted 3/26/2007 1:45 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Kurt, Glad to hear all is going well. After the Dr. Let's you resume full activities would like to have your and Courtny out to Tinker to play golf.
Take it easy and let the insides heal.

KW
Posted 3/26/2007 12:21 PM (GMT 0)
yes, this is an important topic and one that we all have to deal with in one form or another. Jeff wanted to see how things were as soon as he got the catheter out, so he did have an orgasm without an erection, but it was pretty painful. so he waited a week, did it again, it was less painful. some doctors say to wait, others say have "sex" as soon as possible. I think we should just do what's comfortable. take care all....kat
Posted 3/26/2007 11:14 PM (GMT 0)
My doctor did not put such a restriction on except to say, no heavy lifting or physical excurtion to prevent injury to the site of surgery for up to six weeks. That stated we tried, er she tried, within two weeks. I was only 75% so it was tough to complete the project...BUT...two weeks after surgery I spoke to him and he asked if we tried to have intercourse. Kurt, sounds to me like you should talk to Courtney....not us. :-)

Tony
Posted 3/27/2007 2:02 PM (GMT 0)

Kate

You have got to be kidding!!!!

With the catheter still in?????????

My Man of The Year Award goes to…….

 

Posted 3/27/2007 11:50 PM (GMT 0)
Ouch.
Posted 3/28/2007 1:09 AM (GMT 0)
weighing in on this thread--I am going to need to use serious meds to get Mr. hang off the ground--4 weeks post-op and Luprone-thank god I don't have restless leg syndrome-then I might be concerned,-rewrite GOD-orgasm w/out an erection is strange but stillan end somewhat justifying the means w/my partner
G
Posted 3/31/2007 12:06 AM (GMT 0)
People!!
Please, DON'T DO THIS (have an orgasm before six weeks after surgery).

The surgeon has sewn the free end of the urethral tube to the newly constructed bladder neck (that had to be reconstructed because part of the bladder neck was taken off to make sure there is no more prostate tissue there to turn into a cancerous site). The stitches that are used to sew this are tiny and the suturing thread is very thin. If you fool around with ********** type motions outside the body, and you have an orgasm that causes the kind of muscle contractions I have since healing up after that initial period, you are going to put a strain on that junction and could tear those stitches. Then you are going to have BIG TROUBLE with urine leakage inside your body.

Please wait just a little while til you heal, then have at it, but don't cause serious problems for yourself before you heal.
PLEASE,
dj
Posted 1/22/2010 4:19 PM (GMT 0)
Hubby is day eight post surgery and had catheter removed two days ago. Last night we were "comforting" one another, one thing led to another and though our activity was very gentle and thoughtful, he came to the point just prior to orgasm. not much engorgement at all, though at one point he said that the sensation was as if he were hard. Though we both felt wonderful about it, we backed off to err on the side of caution.
Now our doctor says "no activity" for two weeks. He does want him taking 25mg of viagra nightly until then.

I'm glad we stopped before climax, I understand that healing needs to happen, but my gut tells me that very gentle stroking in a limited fashion would be of benefit, even just for a sense of closeness and well being. I know that I felt so much better this morning after our intimacy than I have since the diagnosis. From the wife's point of view, the diagnosis began a period of mourning for me. The fact that we experienced what we did last night is like a gift.

definitely don't want to go against the doctor's orders. It just seems that folks have received a mixed bag of instructions here!

I would be so grateful to hear any thoughts or experiences about the timing of resuming sex play from more of the veterans here. Thank you.
Posted 1/22/2010 6:03 PM (GMT 0)
I agree with djhouston - DON'T PORK TOO SOON -
- play cautiously with the newly re-sewn merchandise - first or second base - no third base and NO homerun - unless it is a hand off to the supporting team or...

- if your wife is so anxious - lie on your back and have her do all the work - after 6 weeks - you're not supposed to lift anything about 10# -
- having you on top would hurt all the hard work the surgeon put into trying to prolong your life and ( hopefully in time) prolong mr. happy.
- you don't want to have them have to go back in there just because of wanting some whoopeeeeeeeeee !

- nuff said ( without getting too naughty)
Posted 1/22/2010 6:11 PM (GMT 0)
All the answers above seem quite good and then each indivual must take their own stats into consideration. Shoot, I just jealous anyone good think of sex 8 days post surgery. I still looked and felt like death hungover. That is great for you all!!!
Posted 1/22/2010 6:32 PM (GMT 0)
Generally, I would say if it feels good, you can probably do it. Your body generally will let you know if you are stretching something that shouldn't be.

When the doctor removes the catheter, he does a pressure test. The urethra is pretty well healed in a couple of weeks.

Now, I wouldn't recommend swinging from the chandeliers !

Much of the doctor's advice revolves around liability. and keeping people from hanging from the chandeliers.

Goodlife
Posted 1/22/2010 7:28 PM (GMT 0)
Geez. You must remember that your husband just went through a major and complex surgery, one of the most complex on the books. In particular, the bladder neck to urethra connection involves very complicated suthering and stiching. I would strongly advise resisting the urge at least during the entire time that his doctor reccomends. You get one chance to heal correctly, you don't want to over do things, you don't want to cause a problem at this juncture that would be difficult to remedy.

My first two months after open surgery, I just turned off my mind to anything sexual in thought or deed, as my dr. had a difficult time getting be back together right.

I don't believe the statement above is medically correct, that the urethra is pretty well healed in a couple of weeks. I think I would ask my surgeon about that first hand.

It's good that the natural urge and craving is there, nothing wrong with that part, but all in good time is my advice.

David in SC
Posted 1/22/2010 9:31 PM (GMT 0)
I'm very grateful for each of your comments. I'm glad that we had the sense to "back off" during our intimacy but I am also glad that we reached the point we did. It was a sort of confirmation that the feelings are there. I recall reading and being told by the doctor that my husband would have all the same sensations, just without the erection initially. It was just nice to know that he could feel familiar sensations of pleasure.
That said, we'll certainly allow this rest period for healing.

Isn't it frustrating, however, that the information seems to be all over the place. On the one hand, you want to keep blood flow to the tissues to assist in healing, as I understand it, the oxygenated blood is helpful for this. On the other hand, you don't want to disturb the healing process with activity.

As a somewhat dazed newbie, I appreciate the members of this forum for your candid and thoughtful treatment of these sensitive issues.
Posted 1/22/2010 10:06 PM (GMT 0)
Well, surgeons give up the pills to promote blood flow in the affected area, so that things will work better later on, they certainly aren't giving them for the purpose of sexual pleasure, not at 8 days from surgery. I was on catheters for 63 days in a row after my open surgery, and never was giving any drugs for blood flow. When the catheters finally came out, ended up with minor incontinence issues for about a month, and absolutely no ED issues. It's possible that all the extra healing time I got because of the catheters may have allowed things to heal up better than usual. My surgeon is still unsure on the reason, but we were thankful there wasn't an issue, least not in that department.

David in SC
Posted 1/22/2010 10:34 PM (GMT 0)
The doc said two weeks, so you have only six days to go!

Like Goodlife, I think the doc was wanting you to avoid anything anything wild. I don't see a problem with gentle orgasms. I had my first orgasm within a day or two of the catheter coming out (day 8 or 9), just purely as a scientific experiment turn No harm done -- -- in fact I don't ever remember anyone here saying they had sex too soon and did some damage.

It's great you both feel this way, so I say go for it -- but keep off the the chandeliers :-)
Posted 1/23/2010 11:12 AM (GMT 0)
Man I wish I had that problem to worry about that would be a good worry.Good luck.

Zach
Posted 1/23/2010 12:57 PM (GMT 0)
David, you're blessed, Piano, it's 2 weeks from catheter removal which leaves us 11 days, not counting today, do I seem obsessed? Zach, I hear you. Thank you.
Posted 1/23/2010 1:16 PM (GMT 0)
This is a wild thread. Heck it took two years before I even considered trying intercourse. You guys are all awesome. I think the Lupron Casodex and IMRT knocked out ability and desire. Now that I am off HT I am glad that some feelings are coming back.
I will have to say proceed with caution please, I do not want you gentleman to be back in the hospital for trying to play ball to soon.

peace to you
dale
Posted 1/23/2010 1:19 PM (GMT 0)
My hat's off to all you men who have been going through the impacts of this disease. I am so heartened to find the candid conversation, the supportive encouragement and the optimism overall.

Just a clarification, intercourse is no where in sight at this point, my post was referring to gentle, affectionate touching, kissing and stroking. It made me realize that satisfaction has very little to do with a hard erection when the emotional bond is present. Frankly, realizing that means a lot to me as a relatively young (fortysomething) woman.
Posted 1/23/2010 4:05 PM (GMT 0)
Let me add to the fray a moment. I woke up this morning with an odd pain around 2 AM, and found myself with a full errection, and I do men full, with the latest foley catheter in place. My corrective surgery was just this past Tuesday. And I still have a surpapubic catheter coming from below my stomach.

Most of been a nocturnal thing, don't think I was having erotic dreams. I knew from long term catheter time, you don't want wood with a catheter in place,lol. I ignored it, it went down on its own, and I went back to sleep.

We live in a strange world, the world of PC.

David in SC

Nothing like natural wood when you can't possibly do anything with it. Had I made any attempt to capitilize the situation, would have ended up in a lot of pain for hours, knew better than that
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