UC and lack of sex drive

I'm hesitant to raise this topic but it's really starting to take a toll on me and my relationship. I feel that ever since my last flare up began, about a month ago, that my sex drive has really been halted. Now of course if our lives there's all sorts of reasons this could happen and possible sources of anxiety but my UC seems like a pretty good guess as the chief culprit. I was wondering if others had similar reactions to mine.

I trace the impact on my sex drive to a number of UC-related factors, but I'm trying to figure out if these are real or I'm just searching for explanations. One, is the weight loss and body change. I've lost about 10-15 pounds on my current flare (down from ~160), which has taken me down about 1.5 waist sizes and also seems to make it hard to retain body mass overall or to build muscle mass. As a guy this isn't something I'm shooting for. I think I look weaker, or sickly and that doesn't make me feel sexy. The second is that semi-constant pressure in my gi/bladder. Its the lingering physical feeling, like a light pressure on my bladder, that makes it feel like I might have to go the bathroom. I don't actually have to go, until the pressure is greater, but there does seem to be a light pressure there fairly often. Feeling like I might have to crap doesn't help me in the bedroom. Finally, there's the mental side of things, first that I'm kinda dirty or gross down there, that it's not something I want to share intimately and second is that constant fear that at any moment I will have to use the bathroom which makes it hard to get/stay in the mood.

Anyone want to share similar feelings? Reaction? Ways to try and deal with this anxiety? Much appreciated.

Hi CBusTaylor,

I can definitely say that my sex drive has been halted for quite a while and I've attributed it to the disease and possibly the medications I am using. Even when in remission and feeling well the drive has completely been lacking and I really can't figure it out. Mind you, at this point in my life I am so preoccupied with other things going on, but I know that isn't an explanation or excuse.

I do not really have any answers or ways to deal with the anxiety. The only thing I can tell you is that from my experience, you may start to discover other stimuli that bring back the drive, much different from the way things were before UC.

I have had lack of drive due to meds such as anti-depressants, as well as exhaustion. I have never had an extremely strong sex drive.... I always attributed my low sex drive to my UC issues. Recently (about a year ago), I was found to have a tumor on my pituitary gland - which caused massively high levels of prolactin, low levels of testosterone, among other things. My doc's thought it was something I had all my life that grew worse with time....so eventually I had zero sex drive, and even if I did have one my system didnt respond anyway.... I was also infertile... My factory was there but the lights were off. After surgery, full functionality was back (however now with a shock to my system with normal testosterone levels my drive may be a little too strong :) ) - I guess what I am trying to say is that UC may not be the direct cause for lack of sex drive - I suggest looking into it... I never imagined having any issues in that respect.

CBusTaylor - I found that when I was tapering prednisone that I had absolutely no sex drive. Also, I find that 6-MP also dulls my libido to nearly nothing.

The final bit of advice is that part of it is your own self-appearance linked to your ego. Partners generally don't see you as less sexy. You see youself as less sexy, and thus less confident.

That is what your partner notices. Instead of your usual confidence, making sure they know they are lucky to have you, they notice you feeling that you aren't good enough, and THAT is not attractive... If that makes sense.

What I did was start swimming every morning and got a pair of 5KG weights for home and did a number of sets of reps every morning. I just couldn't handle the gym, but I was able to handle doing that in the safety of my own home. Firstly, this helped my body "settle down" in the morning and empty itself out, and secondly, it really helped me pick up my self confidence again.

Oh, and when I was feeling crap I got all clingy and that didn't go down too well either.

I find a lot that the mind is willing, but the body, well, just isn't into it. I'm not self conscious about my body, but I do feel weird about possibly getting poop on the bed. I'm also really tired all the time. For me, it's just a bunch of mental weirdness that I have to get past. When we do "do it". it's always enjoyable so again, it's just some weird mental thing I need to overcome.

If you are taking a 5-ASA drug, most likely your decreased libido is caused by this...I was on Asacol and it's one of the side effects.