Milkman,
As long as you remember that it is indeed a long recovery (about a year) you, your wife, and your daughter will be fine. Once her jpouch is actually connected there might be some moments where you all question whether or not you made the right decision. Just remember it takes a while for the jpouch to learn to behave like a colon. There will be good days and bad days but measure improvement in periods of weeks, not days.
Sue