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Posted 1/8/2009 2:20 PM (GMT 0)
I just need to talk about being tired.  My son sleeps through the night sometimes...me never.  I'm up at least three times a night with UC urgency, and at least once a night with him.  Last night between my own issues he woke up at 1am and would not settle down to go back to sleep.  My tummy (gut) has been hurting so badly, and I'm starting to lose more blood on a daily basis.

I realize caffeine is one of my things that cause additional trouble, but I honestly feel that if I go without it I will be in bed all day with exhaustion.  My sister-in-law just turned me on to dissolvable B-12 tabs, so I'm going to get some today and take one morning, noon and night...in hopes that I can continue to function.  I seriously have not done dishes in three days...and there are still some cake battered bowls from last week.  I dispise having a messy kitchen and I'm depressed that it's gotten to this point again.  I'm also very good about 'not' asking for help from my family unless I absolutely have to.  My home is my responsibility, and I'm just really having a hard time keeping it together.

Emotionally I'm actually really happy b/c I'm back to work again (I had a dry spell with no clients for a couple months, which was nice at the time b/c it allowed me to recover from a MRSA and additional staph infections), but I cannot be a stay-at-home mom...I'm very career oriented.  Anyway, I'm just very tired.  Very sore.  Very tired of battling this silly flare.  : ) 

I guess I'm not necessarily looking for responses, but just needing to talk about how tired I am.  No one in my family fully knows how difficult this is, so I figured that all of you suffer from the same disease you can empathize, as I do for you and your struggles.  : ) 

My son is amazing, though.  He did just turn 1 and I love being home with him during the day...as I leave to see my clients once my husband is home at 2:30pm.  My house is also covered with toys from Christmas and his birthday...we have yet to come up with an acceptable plan of organization.  So, I have a kitchen full of dirty dishes, boxes waiting to be filled with the Christmas and winter decorations that are still scattered througohut the house, filthy surfaces, semi-unsanity tile floor (I only scrub the areas that get sticky food dropped/thrown from toddler meals), and an empty dish strainer.  : )  I wish I had a bigger space for a dishwasher!  We have a beautiful older home, but it is a beautiful 'smaller' older home.  : )  I like to call it Shabby Chic with minimal 'chic', as we still need to paint the exterior.

Okay...I think I'm done ranting and venting...sometimes it just feels good to tell my story or talk about the silly things going on my little life.  I think I'll fill my coffee cup and tackle some of my to-do's for the day. 

My perk for the day is that my UGGs should be here this afternoon!  We all need something to look forward to, right?  So, my day is going to be based around the UPS man!  : )

I hope you all have a wonderful day, and if you've read through my entire entry...you are a great person, and I would be more than happy to read your vents any time you post. 

Thank you for being here!!!

: )  Robin

Posted 1/8/2009 2:36 PM (GMT 0)

Oh honey, its time to get good at asking for help.  It sounds like you're really buried in your house and that only creates more stress.  I've been in your shoes (I have a 2 1/2 year old, you and I are nearly the same age, and we're both at home all day -  or a lot of it), and if you've got family and friends who want to help, take advantage of it!  If you can ask your parents to take your son for a day or two so you can get your house in order, you'll feel SO much better.  I've realized that when you're at home all day, its crucial to keep order just like you would with your cubicle or office. 

Also, I know its tempting to try to get things done when the little guy is napping, but when he naps, you should nap.  Try to grab sleep whenever you can. 

Sorry you're going through such a rough patch.  I hope your UGGs cheer you up today - there nothing like a shoe delivery to put a smile on your face.  I love Zappos for that very reason. :-)

Posted 1/8/2009 2:36 PM (GMT 0)
Rant away!

Are you anemic? That can lead to a fatigue that is different from the normal tired. Being anemic takes all of the steam out of me - I can't even get dressed and ready for work in the morning without laying down in between tasks.

I had to learn that it was okay to ask for help. It was difficult thing to learn. However, so many people are willing to help if you only ask. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. I believe it actually makes you stronger to acknowledge that you do need help.

One time I had to ask my mom to vacuum my stairs. I could deal with vacuuming the level floors, but just did not have the energy to do the stairs!!!

Perhaps you can ask someone to do a few of those tasks you just haven't been able to do. When you're not flaring, you can repay the kindness. There are also cleaning companies that will come in for a one time event. Doing this would allow you to not stress about things - which we all know doesn't help.

I for one hate doing dishes, but if you promised me a cake when you were feeling better, I'd do them :)

Hurry up UPS man! This lady needs her UGGs! :) Gotta love the small joys in life.
Posted 1/8/2009 3:24 PM (GMT 0)

Hi!  I am also a mommy of a 2 1/2 year old girl.  I work M-F 7am-4pm and I can completely relate to the things you are going through.  I had some similar stresses and was so tired from being stressed out in addition to having UC. 

Here is what I came up with that helped me deal with it...  First, yes the house should be clean and it makes me feel better BUT I had to come to terms with the fact that with a toddler it is just not going to always be as organized as it was pre-kids.  Also, I chose to invest in hiring a cleaning lady to come just twice a month.  I still clean myself in between but having her come really helps with the big stuff.  It seemed kind of ridiculous at first and an indulgence but now I would not give her up for anything.  I would cut down on other expenses to keep her if it came to that.  I would rather spend time with my daughter and husband than always worrying about the house. 

Second, you do have to let others help.  I had a real problem with that but I can't tell you how much better it is once you let others help you.  Since I do work outside of the house I hated asking anyone to babysit or to help me with things around the house. I felt guilty about asking for help and thought my husband and I should be able to do it all.  I am very lucky to have both my parents and in-laws close by so I decided to take advantage of their offers.  My mother-in-law comes to my house to watch Addyson while my husband and I are at work (a God send!).  She offered many times to do laundry for us and I refused for a LONG time.  Then one day when I was totally overwhelmed I asked her to do it for me.  Now she will do a couple of loads for me every week and I cannot tell you how much that helps!  My husband and I also go on a "date" once a month.  My mom babysits for us when we have our date night.

Letting go of some of my unreasonable self expectations and letting others help has made me a better mom, wife and helped improve my stress level (which in turn helped my UC).  The time I spend with my family is truely quality time because I am focused entirely on them and not worried about everything else.  I am also feeling better and taking better care of myself which makes me much more pleasant to be around!  I hope that you can give yourself a break.  I think that you are putting way too much pressure on yourself!  You need to be able to rest stress free and get this flare under control.  Your physical and emotional health is much more important than dirty dishes!

Posted 1/8/2009 4:30 PM (GMT 0)
I second what thatfield said - I always told my husband that if I went back to work we would have to hire someone to come and clean every couple weeks.

The rules of women's lib haven't been totally sorted out yet. Women have to realize that they should NOT be expected to fulfill all the traditional tasks of a mother (child care, housekeeping, etc) AND the tasks of a career. Its just totally unreasonable and there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting some help. The women I know that try to "do it all" are the ones who are the most stressed out and unhappy.
Posted 1/8/2009 4:44 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there! I also have a 2 1/2 year old and a 2 month old. They are complete joys in my life, but life is definitely not the same since their arrival. In the past when I had a flare I would get up, go to work, come home, go to bed...that's IT. Now that isn't possible so I can completely relate. During my most recent flare my husband got laid off of work, which turned out to be a godsend. I don't know how I would have made it through the worst patch without him. LEAN on your husband. That is what he is there for! I know you said that the house is your responsibility, but come on..are you telling me he didn't dirty any of those dishes? I know you feel like you are home more so you should be able to keep up with things, but you have a one year old and UC. You aren't superwoman. I second getting a housecleaner twice a month if you can afford it. I LOVE mine and would not give her up for anything in the world. To have a 100% clean house 2 days a month is the most wonderful feeling in the world vs. one room is clean and the rest are a mess because you haven't had time to clean them.

As for B-12, they are definitely perky pills and help a bit. I hope they help for you too.

Oh and from one mom to another, your 1 year old shouldn't be waking up anymore. With my daughter, I finally had enough and at 12 months I let her "cry"(it was more like her whining on and off) for 30 minutes, then the next night it was 5 minutes and from there on she didn't wake up during the night unless she was sick, teething, etc. It is WONDERFUL having a kid that sleeps 12 hours so if you haven't already you might just want to try not going in there and see what happens.

Good luck on everything and feel free to vent. That's what we are here for.
Posted 1/8/2009 5:13 PM (GMT 0)
I agree about letting a one year old "cry it out". It is not healthy for the mom or the child to be getting up at night.
Posted 1/8/2009 5:26 PM (GMT 0)
You ladies are WONDERFUL! : ) Oddly enough Jackson took an early morning nap, almost immediately after my post, and I went to bed too...we slept 2 hours! Yea!!! So, it is now 11:15am and instead of lunch we're having Eggos lounging in our beanbag and glider watching Kung Fu Panda b/c Playhouse Disney is over. : )

I am seriously going to consider the cleaning lady services...I start back to school next Tuesday and will be out of town in classes both Tuesday and Wednesday nights. I can swing the costs of a couple times a month. I'm hoping to have a colectomy the first part of May too, so having someone come by will be just awesome!

I really appreicate all your thoughts, guidance and shared experiences. I know Jackson should be sleeping through the night...he just finished cutting all his molars, so I was going to wait till his gums healed before making him learn to fall back to sleep on his own. It's going to be a struggle, so though this is a UC forum, I feel you ladies have opened a door to additional support so I may be coming to you for Mommy moments!

I'm not sure if my iron is low...it probably is. I'm going to start getting better at asking for help from my husband and family. My husband is pretty good about the things I ask...he's also a great help with Jackson. I think we're just so tired of being in 'crisis' mode that we're both slacking a little.

As for my hurricaned home...I think we'll get it in order. : ) I may ask my mom to come over this weekend and help with the down and dirty.

Thanks again for your great support and wonderful advice! I have really found that you being here gives me something more to look forward to...I like reading your posts and helping in any way I can.

: ) Robin
Posted 1/8/2009 5:33 PM (GMT 0)
Well when i had surgery my little boy was 2 (he is 3 now and still wakes up at night, he has night terrors we think, who needs sleep, lol)
Anyway, before i had surgery and was so worn out my house was a complete and total wreck constantly, you know how i learned to deal with it? I quit caring! As long as i didn't have bugs or food laying out, clutter is not gonna hurt you. Noone ever died from a few dirty dishes (hey that's how we got penicillin!)
But with a little guy runnign around, unless you spend every single wakign moment runnign aroudn after the kid, your house is NOT gonna be organized, and that's OK. That just means you have a home that people know you live in. I spent the past two days, trying, in vainto get my house neat and organzied and my little boy came home, i lie not, for an hour (he was with grandparents all day) and it was TRASHED!!! So moral to teh story, just quit worrying, it's not gonna hurt anything, i promise, and it doesnt mean you are lazy.
As for asking for help, i won't do it either. I am old fashioned in some ways, i belive women stay at home and men work. i am the woman the kid the house those are my jobs and i shouldnt expect others to do it for me. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, or getting it, i just don't.
My husband fusses at me all the time for not letting him help, lol.
Anyway, hope you feel better soon! hey if nothing else in 17 years you will get some sleep! maybe
Posted 1/8/2009 6:07 PM (GMT 0)
Addyson slept through the night really well until she was cutting her molars - then we had several weeks of her waking up crying so I totally understand that! Of course it happened when I was having a bad flare and when my husband was traveling quite a bit - there were some LONG nights! I am glad you are thinking about the cleaning lady - it was the best gift my husband and I gave to ourselves! I think that being a mommy and having UC brings up some unique issues and I would be glad to talk mommy at any time!
Posted 1/8/2009 7:23 PM (GMT 0)
I absolutely agree about the housekeeper! I can't seem to relax unless things are organized in my house. But, that is one of my ISSUES! If I were to give you the advice that my mother-in-law gives it would be that when "your kids are grown they will not remember or even care about how clean the house was growing up, but that their parents spent a lot of quality time with them!" I absolutely agree, so I work my butt of each day to do both!LOL. I am not suggesting that for anyone, though!!!! Don't feel too bad about your child waking up in the night. My daughter did not sleep throught the night until she was 18 months old! Yikes!! Mom and dad could not take the crying!!!! Anyway, she is fine now . 10 years old and marches herself to bed each night when we tell her too! My point is - in time these stresses will be a distant memory. I hope it is sooner rather than later for you. First things first, you sound like you need a break - some time for yourself! Definately call your mom!!!
Posted 1/8/2009 8:33 PM (GMT 0)
I can relate. I am anemic and like dakotagirl said, getting dressed is a struggle for me. I go to work everyday too which is a huge struggle, I can barely stay awake through the day. I also have a dog that wakes me up about 3x each night. Sometimes when I get up to tend to him I end up on the toilet with D for 20 minutes. When I get back in bed I am dying for a heating pad on my back but I have my dog who lays on top of me most nights. He always makes me feel better.

I agree with the other posters, hire someone to come in and clean your kitchen. It will make you feel better.

I hope you got your boots! I love deliveries. I have a shopping addiction, All the delivery people know me  turn

Posted 1/8/2009 8:49 PM (GMT 0)
Anemia can be brutal. When I was at my worst, I would have to just sit everywhere I went and that is SO not me.
Posted 1/8/2009 10:26 PM (GMT 0)
I can absolutely relate to being tired all the time. Even though I'm near remission, I still need about 10 hours of sleep every day/night. A lot of times I'll just end up zoning out in front of the tv instead of doing something productive. It's very frustrating.

You should ask your doctor for a blood test just in case.

May I ask what your job is/what you're going to school for? I hope it's nothing too stressful or energy-consuming!
Posted 1/9/2009 3:12 AM (GMT 0)
I spoke with my mom this evening...she is such a huge support for us...and she was pretty upset and I was not planning to have the surgery until this summer. I forget that the problems I encounter affect not just me and my husband, but our families too. She made me realize that all our most recent struggles have occurred over the past three months, and if we wait until May for the surgery, who knows what could happen before then. So...to make a longer story short, I'm super sad and scared because I'm calling the surgeon tomorrow to bump up my consoltation appointment for as soon as possible. I'm also making this decision because I've become really ill the past couple days and was in a lot of pain during a session today.

In answer to your question, I am an Intensive In-home Services Specialist for the state of Missouri...my services are contracted through the state and I work with families who are at risk of having their children placed in foster care. I see two families at a time and am on call for them 24/7. I absolutely adore my job. I am attending graduate school for counseling with an emphasis in marriage and family therapy. I really did not want to have to take off a semester, and just not go during the summer...but if I put my health and my family first, it seems to be the best choice. *sigh* I really enjoy going to school, and I love being busy...so having this surgery is going to be a bumber b/c I will be down and out for quite some time. However, if I take this semester off I can start back this summer and just take my time with school. I wish I could do it all...you know...work, attend class...have the surgery...clean my house. : ) If any of you find or come up with a super woman pill (that's legal and nonaddictive) I'd love to have it! : )

I spoke with my husband about the cleaning lady option and he feels it would be greatly beneficial...yea!!! We're spending this weekend on the house and getting as much done as possible. We're moving a shevling unit to the dining room (which has become a play room) and mounting it to the wall...going through our bedroom, which has become a catch-all for it all, and I am tackling the kitchen! : ) I have my mom coming home sometime to help with a couple projects, and my youngest sister is going to help with Jackson. Then come Monday I'm going to cancel my classes and start focusing on the surgery. Are any of you looking at this same option? I've joined the j-pouch site, and they are wonderful supports as well...but I'm so super scared. I've gained a lot of weight, though, because of the prednisone...and I've never really been in remission...so it's time. I also hated having trouble holding it together at a client's house today...I have at least a 45 minute commute to where ever my clients are located and that sucks too!

So...I'm venting again! Grrr!!! I got home and started my pitty party...I only allow (and teach others) that pitty parties should be 10 minutes...so time them. : ) I started timing mine but it was over in a minute b/c I saw my son. : ) So, I have time left over!

Anyway, I need to get to doing paperwork and get my to-do list together for tomorrow. I have a few OCD issues, one of which being lists. : )

Thanks again you guys...I couldn't wait to get home to see what else you all had to say about you and your little ones!!! I absolutely adore being a Mommy...and if having the surgery makes me available to be a better Mommy sooner, then so be it.

: ) Robin
Posted 1/9/2009 5:14 AM (GMT 0)
i'm gonna weigh in on your surgery comment. My son was almost 2 when i had surgery, and i had missed SOOO much, i couldnt take him anywhere,because what if i had to go to the bathroom? and that poor kid ended up playing in the bathroom more than anywhere else in the house. My final straw was when we took him to the beach and i didnt get to go out there and see him walk on the beach for the very first time, because i was too sick!
So anyway, i had the surgery and it was hard, because for the 6 weeks after surgery, he lived with my grandma and i missed him SOOO much!
But now, he is 3 and half, and we do LOTS of things together, i can chase him and play with him, and we go to the park and i used to take him bowling every week. For instance, Monday it was a pretty day here, so i just called up my friend and asked if i could get her boys too and take them to the park iwth me and my son, and so i took off to the park with 3 little boys! it was so fun, and i could have never done that before! I feel like, if i hadn't had surgery, that my son wouldnt have a life either. I think that since i got my life back, he is so much better off. otherwise the poor kid would still be playin in the bathroom.
Posted 1/9/2009 1:22 PM (GMT 0)
summerstorm...

I agree...what life is it for a child if their Mother is always in the bathroom? We're going to make the alterations necessary for me to keep Jackson at home...but it's going to be difficult. I think we may make his crib into a toddler bed sooner than later and make child-proofing adjustments to more of the house so I can be around him more with my limitations. It's just such a big change...but definitely welcomed.

I'm looking forward to being able to just go anywhere with him and not worry about bathroom breaks. I worry about going to the store b/c what if I have an emergency? I don't use a stroller at Wal-Mart...and I can't take the cart in with me...so it's becoming a risk every time I leave with him.

My current debate is going to work today. Do I go and risk having an emergency while on the road or at a client's home? Or do I stay home, not get my required hours in with my clients, and call my GI to discuss bumping up my Remicade infusion and possibly go back to 40mg of prednisone until my surgery. Argh. I just don't know. I realize the
Posted 1/9/2009 1:26 PM (GMT 0)
My son came up and hit some buttons on my laptop...my post was sent before I was ready. : )

Anyway, I think I'm staying home today...I just can't imagine trying to make both appointments and all that driving without being uncomfortable. I was up all night anyway and am so tired...I don't even feel up to making breakfast so we're munching on Nilla Wafers.

So...yep...I'm going to make my medical calls today and hopefully get in with the surgeon next week.

summerstorm...do you know how soon they can schedule the surgeries? I'm really hoping to have mine as soon as possible now that we've decided to go forward with this.

Thanks!!!

: ) Robin
Posted 1/9/2009 1:41 PM (GMT 0)
Summerstorm just curious. I am thinking of surgery as well. Do you have the J Pouch or the bag or are you the process of getting the J Pouch? RobinByrd my understanding from the little research I have done is that you can get pregnant and have children with the J Pouch is that correct? I also read that there are (as with any surgery) some risks to fertility or the J pouch not being possible do you happen to know the stats? I am wondering if I should try the Remicaid 1st because it is safe in breastfeeding and pregnancy and if that does not work look into surgery? RobinByrd your first plan was to have more babies and breastfeed with the Remicaid correct?
Posted 1/9/2009 3:55 PM (GMT 0)
Robyn-the walmart thing was one of my biggest problems, i started takign a stroller in with me with in the buggy if i HAD to take him for soem reason. Way too much work, lol.

When i went in August of 07 to schedule my surgery he talked me into remicade, i wish i had NOT done that. It works great for some people, i'm not knokcing it by any means, and it worked for me for 4 months, but even in that time, i was always worried, when iis it gonna STOP working?
Then after we tried upping the dose and all, i went back in early march 08 and then had my surgery april 17, 2008! suprisingly, probably the 2nd best day of my life. the first being, of course the day my son was born!

I have a permanent ileo, i didn't want a jpouch because i didnt' want another surgery, and i honestly never wanted to use the bathroom the regular way again!!! LOL!!! jpouches have thing that are better than a perm ileo and vice versa thats really a very personal decision.
You can get get pregnant with a jpouch or a perm ileo. However anytime a woman has abdominal surgery (not sure why this is) it lowers her chances of getting pregnant.
Yall come to the ostomy board and read posts there, that will give you some more ideas about things!
Posted 1/9/2009 4:28 PM (GMT 0)

RobinByrd--I'm actually thinking about going to grad school for counseling. You're definitely doing a lot by working, going to school, and being a mommy! I can't imagine being that busy.

mjw--I talked to a few surgeons last summer and all of them said that I might have trouble getting pregnant but that doesn't mean I can't get pregnant (some may have to use fertility drugs). If you get laparoscopic surgery done, it will decrease your changes of infertility because it is less invasive.

Posted 1/9/2009 4:47 PM (GMT 0)
A Vitamin B Complex is very good to take.  I used to only take a Vitamin B12 and was still tried.  I started taking a Vit B Complex and feel so much better.  I also take a multi-vitamin, plus other vitamins on a daily basis.

Posted 1/10/2009 7:01 AM (GMT 0)
I just started the B-12 and my husband takes the complex...I think I'll take that maybe once a day in addition to the B-12...is that too much? Right now I doubt I could overdose on energy. : )

I wasn't able to bump up my consolt so we're still going on the 27th. However, I do have many questions regarding the pregnancy and the option of keeping the ileo for awhile during my pregnancies and then having the let down surgery. I really do not want to take fertility treatments. We feel that if it's going to happen it will. Adoption has always been an option for us prior to any kind of medical complications, so either way I think we'll be happy. However, I would love to have a pregnancy without prednisone and just enjoy being pregnant without the complications of UC.

Also, instead of bumping the prednisone I'm getting my 5th Remicade treatment on Monday. I always feel good the night of the infusion and the following day...then the energy begins to dwindle and within two weeks I'm back to feeling yucky. Before we realized Remicade was not going to work, we did plan on having pregnancies and breastfeeding with it. My GI and I decided it would be better than the prednisone, which I had become dependent on...and actually still am. So, Remicade really is a great option, but only if it works for you. I'm not going to wait around for the hopes of it working or for some miracle cure. I also applaud those who can follow through with and gain great benefit from the diets and nutrition changes. I change mine enough to get rid of the intensity of my pain and discomfort, but never have I been able to adjust medications because of it. I also constantly avoid the basic no-brainers like spicy foods, beans, etc.

Anyway, I learned that the surgeon I am seeing is gone the second half of February, and he schedules the surgeries within two weeks of a consolt if necessary, so it looks like the first half of February is when this is all going to happen! Wow. It is so scary!!! My husband and I worked hard on getting some things done to our house this evening, and tomorrow we have loads more to do. We're working hard this weekend b/c I teach the classes for the program for those that have received DWIs (DUIs) to get their license back, and I have programs next weekend and the weekend after that. Then before you know it February will be here, and I want to get things done now! It's also helping me to keep my mind off the idea that major surgery is in my near future. : )

Gosh, I'm rambling again...I'm sure you can all tell I'm also a talker...a great listener as well...but I do have the gift of gab (which I've always been reminded of). : ) So, I'll quit boring you all my blah-blahs...but just an added note...my boots still have not come. What?! I'm borderline stalking the UPS man and our postal service b/c I'm really anxious to get them!!!

: ) Robin
Posted 1/10/2009 3:24 PM (GMT 0)
LOL i hear you on stalkign the mail guy waiting on something, lol.
YAY you are gonna be healthy by easter! You can eat all the cadbury cream eggs you want with out a worry!
And hunt eggs all day and not worry where the bathroom is!
I knwo you are nervous and i totally understand, if i can help you with anything at all, let me know
and good luck!
Posted 1/10/2009 7:51 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks summerstorm! : ) We are really excited...and my boots just arrived this afternoon! Yea!!! The downfall to UGGs is that they are in whole sizes...I'm a 9 and so I ordered a 9...an 8 would be just too small...now my boots are slightly loose...darn it. Oh well...they feel awesome and are super comfy!!! I got them for a big deal on ugg2u.com : ) They aren't knock offs...just ordering them from a different country.

Anyway...this has been such a roller coaster of a week. My husband I are going to dinner with the some friends tonight...wish me luck. I'm debating on if we should really go or not...doesn't that bite?! Someday soon I won't have worry about my comfort levels and the food offered at the restaurants. Woo-hoo!!!

summerstorm...were you on prednisone or anything like that before your surgery? I've gained such a huge amount of weight and I have the nastiest moon face. Grrr. Do you lose a lot of weight after the surgery? What kind of foods are you limited to immediately after and for how long?

Thanks!!!

: ) Robin
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