I know exactly what you mean, scared the Remicade will kill you- honestly, every time I go for an infusion, I wonder if it'll kill me! I've been on it for about
2 years, & it hasn't always been smooth sailing. I did develop strep pneumonia aftr an infusion, & wound up very sick, in intensive car for a week, with bacteremia, pneumonia, & a bunch of other stuff. I thought I'd never use the drug again, but it helped with the UC, & I did, & so far so good. It's taking a chance, but the risk is fairly low. My only real complaint is that I've had pneumonia twice since starting it, & seem to be more prone to respiratory infections now. If you're vigilant about
your health, & keep an eye on things, you should do ok. But I still get a little nerved up before an infusion- after that hospital episode, I went for blood work before the next infusion, just to make sure I was ok to get it.