what I know for sure

Well, this is just me kind of writing out my thoughts today.  Wondering if others out there who suffer from UC or other chronic illness view life possibly differently, by that I mean more empathetic to people with illnesses.  I guess I am pondering on this today because I am returning to work after being off approximately 6 months due mostly to 4 herniated discs (well of course the UC certainly had its days in there too, but my back is what put me out).  It was a very isolating time and a very painful time of not being able to move or do anything and having to go to spine rehab (still going).  I guess what I am getting at is that in all of that time I didn't even get so much as a get well card from people I have worked for for years.  This was extremely hurtful.  No calls from my manager nothing and today I return and feel completely different than when I left.  I also work in a hospital (that is where we are taught that people come there scared, nervous, worried and to really treat people even more gentler and kinder because they are in this situation.  I didn't get that as a person on that end from the peers who are taught that.  I have a good relationship with these people so it was even more hurtful.  I guess what I know for sure is work is work (they are coworkers) and true friends are different, though I guess I thought caring people were the same whether coworkers or friends.  I know this will make me even more mindful of people who are sick, disabled whatever, to feel forgotten is sometimes worse than what the illness itself is.  This has been a very difficult time but feel I have learned a lot from it all.  Thanks for listening, wish me luck that I can just go back and do my job and not dwell too much on the hurt and disappointment I am feeling...it's been good coming to the forum and so many well-wishers out there...Molly

I think it's hard for someone who has never suffered from an illness to have empathy and compassion for those that do. I used to kind of be like that. Before UC, I was never sick and I would get easily annoyed by people who "complained" of their constant illnesses. I have come across a few hypochondriacs and it made me very unsympathetic towards everyone. Even now, I don't like to talk about my illness with that many people because I'm afraid that they will think I'm a hypochondriac, a whiner, and a complainer. I'm sorry that the people you work with aren't more compassionate. :(

Hmmm, due to my long suffering with UC I find myself less compassionate sometimes when someone is dealing with an acute health problem, one that will be fixed and done. My mother had two major surgeries in the past few months and she was a terrible patient, hostile towards the doctors, blaming complications on them, whiny and weepy...I got really fed up with it. I would ask, are you in pain? No. Will you recover? Yes. Then Cowgirl Up.

But I will call my co-worker today who had surgery last week, to see how she is doing. Thanks for the reminder.

I work in a family-owned company and everyone here has been so compassionate and helpful throughout this whole ordeal. I worked quite a few days from home and my boss has been so understanding. He's just said "Focus on your health, and the rest will come." I feel really lucky to work in such a great environment. I'm sorry that you haven't had the same experience I have!

Yes, with the economy like it is I can see how you feel luck to have your job! It is disappointing, though, when you don't get support. It really has helped me a lot to know that my coworkers genuinely care about my health. I hope you do love your job again, because it makes it a lot easier to go to work every day when you do!

Hi Judy,

Well, at least the support I have gotten here has made up some for the lack of support I have felt over these last few months. Thanks to all who have sent good thoughts my way

I am so sorry for what you have gone through and what you are feeling. Two summers ago I was in Canada for my daughter's wedding and slipped getting out of the shower in the hotel room the day before the event. Long story short - I flew back to Texas right after the wedding and arrived with a fractured hip, pulmonary embolism and in the midst of a terrible flare. I was put into diapers, told I couldn't move and everything thing in my body was tested. Most of the time I wasn't sure where I was. I started receiving a card from a former co-worker each day. I would hold onto those cards and sleep with them in my hands or under my pillow. They kept me focused and in touch with life. I survived the ordeal and when a recent co-worker had complications during surgery I started sending her cards almost every day. She recently told me she would look through the mail each day and when she saw my card she would hold it in her pocket all day.

I guess in our hectic lives we sometimes lose sight of the small things that might make someone feel good.

I wish you the best. I know if you focus on getting through each day, even if you have to do it hour by hour or even minute by minute, you will survive.

Good Luck
Nor

     Molly, your post reminded me of something very recent.  Last year I was hospitalized for ten days with UC.  I gave my daughter my pass word so she could get into my Yahoo mail and inform all my contacts not to send emails because I really didn't know how long I would be in the hospital.  Well, all my cyber friends sent good will messages and prayers.....all except a woman whom I considered a very close friend.  Our families met over twenty years ago while camping.  Our children became close friends too.  She totally ignored the fact that I was ill.....until....six months later when she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Her husband phoned us.  They were devastated.  I immediately called her, sent her cards and continually pray for her.  She has apologized to me profusely for ignoring me when I was ill.  Now, grant you, she has something far more serious than UC but I believe that now she appreciates what friendship really means.  It doesn't take much to offer a kind word.

     God bless you Molly and I hope and pray you continue your journey to improved health.

I understand where you're coming from. My UC symptoms started right after graduation, and it seemed that none of my so-called friends cared. They knew I was sick, but most of them never bother to ask how I was feeling, what was wrong, etc. The latter and the changes with going away to college made realize that my HS friends weren't going to be lifelong friends. However, I have a friend here at college who'll always ask if I need anything if I'm sick.

Molly, I'm sorry your co-workers aren't supportive, but you always have support here!

Hi Derek,

Good morning to you too. Thanks for thinking of me, that is sweet of you. Boy the anticipation caused me in and out of the bathroom even more than usual(LOL). You know the funny thing is it was exactly what I expected it to be. There were those who were genuinely glad (and it's so funny you can really feel that which is true from someone) saw the manager in the hall almost the first person I ran into. He was cordial and said good to have you back and gave me a hug and the day went on. I was only there for a few hours (light duty) for a few days, so glad to go when it was over. I didn't linger to chat like I sometimes did. So all in all with the good wishes from those on here I pulled up my boot straps and did it. I would expect today to be a little easier to face so glad about that. Thank you Derek, this has started my day off good already...Molly

I have empathy for people with problems with their health now. Before I was diagnosed with UC, I didn't care.

mollymcbutter said...
Well, this is just me kind of writing out my thoughts today. Wondering if others out there who suffer from UC or other chronic illness view life possibly differently, by that I mean more empathetic to people with illnesses.

Yes. It has, and it has also made me less empathetic to people who expect work to come before health.